“No, it’s cool. Jess and Ralph are downstairs, and Ares said they were meeting friends this afternoon.”
Jess, Ralph, and Ares own Bold Brew and live in the apartment upstairs. Vann rents a room from them. It feels like a lot to let Athena invade their home, but Vann’s sworn up and down it’s not a problem.
“You were saying?” Vann asks, raising his eyebrows.
“Hmm?”
“You said you were screwed. But since your booty call isn’t until later, I assume you were speaking metaphorically.”
“Can we not call it that?” I wince.
“Your date?”
Oh, that’s worse. “You’re such a nosy asshole.”
Vann’s grin turns devilish. “What are best friends for?”
“They’re for helping me not look like a vanilla amateur when I show up for dirty sex with my hot-as-hell dog trainer.”
He snorts. “You’re not vanilla.”
Horror slithers along my spine. “But Iaman amateur?”
“What? Of course not. Jesus, are we doing this again?”
I slump onto the sofa in his living room. “No.” He’s right. We had this conversation a lot after the whole Gavin debacle. I did a lot of life-choice questioning, and Vann got to listen to ninety percent of it.
“So what’s the problem?”
I sigh. “Gavin took all the good sex toys.”
Vann rolls his eyes. “You told me you didn’t like any of his toys.”
“I didn’t like what he did with his toys. That’s not the same thing. Also, did we ever talk about his inability to clean things properly?”
More eye rolling. “There’s clean, and then there’s Charlie clean.”
“What’s wrong with the way I clean?”
“Nothing. Just, I think if you could have found room in your apartment, you would have bought an autoclave for the glass stuff.”
Oh man. I’d forgotten about the glass dildos for a minute. Bondage never did much for me, but we had this collection of glass dildos. I bought the first one for Gavin when I was away visiting friends, and then he bought one. It sort of became our thing.My boyfriend went to Poughkeepsie and all I got was this dildo.But they were beautiful. Smooth and perfect, and you could play with the temperature you used them at and—
Vann snaps his finger under my nose. “Earth to Charlie. Do not fantasize about your ex fucking you with a glass tentacle in my apartment.”
And fantasy over. Because the tentacle was big and awkward, and Gavin was so convinced it was the hottest thing we’d ever tried.
“Vann,” I plead. “I can’t show up empty-handed. It’s like going to a dinner party without a bottle of wine.”
“Do you even like toys?”
“Sure I do!” The glass dildos, for example. I’d use them by myself sometimes. It was amazing. Firm in a way silicone never is.
Vann eyes me. Athena hops up on the sofa and starts pawing at the cushions like she’s testing for weak spots.
“Off,” I say. She glances up at me, head cocked. I point at the floor, and she paws some more, but when I stick my hand in my pocket for one of the apple and chicken treats Mason said I should carry with me all the time now, she hops down and comes to sit at my feet.
“Impressive,” Vann says, then puts a hand on my shoulder. “Wait here. I’ll be back.”
