“He might not want to get in the way of everything else you could achieve. Raising kids, even part-time like he’s doing, is a lot of work, and you don’t have a lot more room on your plate.”
Wow. My dad is really smart when he’s not being a creepy lurker in the dark.
I, on the other hand, am a stubborn asshole. Nash and I are so well suited for each other. “I could, though. I’d find room. I’d figure it out.”
“Brady.” Dad puts a hand on my shoulder. “You looked like you were an hour away from a nervous breakdown on Friday.”
“Well, if Nash hadn’t—”
“You were too busy, even before you met Nash. Your mother and I tried to talk to you about it in the spring, but you couldn’t even put down your phone long enough to listen.”
Oh. Right. He has a point.
“You’ve always done your own thing,” he says. “Even when you were a kid. I think that’s why you managed as well as you did when your mom and I weren’t doing so hot and then after, when we were sharing our time with you. Because you went ahead and did what you wanted anyway. And I know you didn’t like working in an office, and I’m not saying you should go back to that, but I think you need to ask yourself if this business you’re running is really giving you what you want.”
I want Nash. I want to meet his kids. I can’t exactly say I want to be a dad, not yet, but I want to be the kind of partner Nash believes he can count on sohecan be a dad. And if that means finding a way to spend less time working, I guess that’s what I’ll have to figure out.
“I don’t know what to do,” I say, feeling as lost as I did when I called my dad forty-eight hours ago. Because the idea of disentangling myself from work seems completely overwhelming.
“If it’s about work, there are people who can help with that. Heck, I can probably be a sounding board for some of it. Or Nash.”
Nash. God. He’s so smart, and yet so dumb at the same time. Maybe I am too. The way my dad’s telling it, I probably am at least as naive as Nash said I was. Trying to have it all and ignoring the ticking countdown flashing the seconds until I completely crashed and burned.
But I want Nash. Everything else will have to work around that one truth.
“Dad?”
“Yeah,” he yawns.
“Can we go back to the city?”
He laughs. “It’s four o’clock in the morning.”
“We can stop for breakfast along the way. Please?”
He’s quiet for a minute like he’ll say no, and if he does, what am I going to do? I can’t exactly leave him up here with no car.
Finally he says, “Okay, but you’re driving.”
26
Nash
Iam dead asleep when the phone rings. As I stretch for it, my shoulder spasms in a charley horse that radiates from my back up over my neck and behind my ear. For a second, I think I’m going to pass out, but then the pain recedes.
The phone is still ringing, the screen flashing in the dark of my bedroom.
“Hello?” My voice is thick and heavy. The other end of the call is quiet for a long time. “Brady?” My heart wakes up before the rest of me is fully alert, and it beats so hard I’m having trouble swallowing.
“I’m downstairs.” His voice is flat, so I can’t tell if his presence is a good or bad thing, but I don’t care.
“Downstairs?”
“Can I come up?”
Yes. Yes, anything he wants. I press the button to unlock the building’s main door. The call disconnects, but I can’t stop staring at the phone.
He’s here. He’s on his way up.
