“What?” Hayden folded his arms over his chest. “Now you’re going to be my dad? Want to give me another lecture about responsibility? You think I give a fuck about anything you have to say?”
He took a step forward. “Let’s talk about this. Oliver and I—there’s nothing wrong with what we’re doing.”
Hayden also came forward, his lips pinched together tight. He shoved at Nick’s chest much harder than a kid his size should have been able to. “No!” He shoved again, and Nick stumbled, his feet tangling with Oliver’s. “Get away from me!”
“Hayden. Let’s talk about—”
“Talk? You never listen to me! You never even ask!”
“Hayden.”
“No. Why should I listen to you? I hate you! You’re not my dad. You’re a liar! Do you hear me! I never want to speak to you again.” Hayden spun and stormed down the hall, slamming his bedroom door behind him. Nick went to follow, but Oliver wrapped strong arms around him, holding them in place.
“Let me go.” Nick strained against him.
“Give it a minute.” Oliver’s voice was calm in his ear.
“Let me go!”
“Calm down first.”
“I have to talk to him!”
“Not like this. Breathe. Come on, breathe.” His held on tight, and his extra height and strong body meant Nick couldn’t break out.
“I have to talk to him.” He said it with less conviction this time. He was breathing, but his breaths were coming too fast, and he couldn’t slow them down. “I have to—” he gasped.
Oliver pulled him back, turning them, and used his weight to move them both to the floor. Nick collapsed into his lap. His chest was on fire, like his lungs were filling with water or his heart was about to burst.
“Nick. Calm down.”
Nick swung his head. “I can’t—I can’t breathe.”
“I know.” Oliver ran a hand over his head, pressing Nick against his chest. “I know. You need to relax.”
“I think—I’m having a heart attack.” His dad had been a little bit older than Nick when his heart attack killed him. Had it felt like this?
Oliver kissed his temple. “It’s a panic attack. Please, baby. Follow me, okay? Breathe.”
Beneath his cheek, Oliver’s chest rose and fell steadily. Nick closed his eyes and tried to focus on the feeling. “I can’t.” His face was a mess of snot and tears.
“You can. Come on. In, one, two, three, four. Out, one, two, three, four. That’s it.”
Getting back to normal took a long time. When they were done, Nick sat there, held against Oliver’s strong body like a child, while Oliver petted his head and murmured soft words in his ear.
“You’re okay. It’s okay.”
Eventually, he sat up, blinking and wiping at his face with his shirtsleeve. “I have to talk to Hayden,” he said again, calmer now.
“Do you think that’s a good idea?”
The thought made him want to throw up, but he’d fucked up pretty badly. “I have to.” He stood and pulled Oliver to his feet. “You should go.”
“I’m sorry.” Oliver kissed him.
“No.” Nick shook his head. “It’s not your fault.”
“It is. I should have behaved myself. It wasn’t fair to you. I—”
