“Fuck off. I can do it on my own.”
“I left him. And came here.”
And met you.
He didn’t say that last part aloud. It would mean too much.
Nick rolled them so Oliver was on his back and Nick was pressed on top of him. The intimacy in Oliver’s dark room was a comfort. He hadn’t felt this in a long time.
“I don’t believe in violence,” Nick said. “But if I ever meet him, I will beat the living shit out of him for you.”
“I appreciate that. I know a good lawyer to represent you if it comes to that.” Oliver kissed him, memorizing his taste. Before, when Nick pressed into him, his heavy cock stretching Oliver open, he’d nearly panicked. It hurt, but no more than it ever did, and it would go away if he could relax and let Nick in. But he hadn’t bottomed in more than ten months and hadn’t had sex with anyone not Cooper in nearly ten years. He hadn’t expected letting someone new into his body to be so terrifying.
“I’m sorry he hurt you,” Nick said, brushing a thumb over Oliver’s lower lip.
No one had ever said that before. Mostly, Oliver had been met with questions, or Seb’s endless poking. Nick hadn’t known him before he’d come to Seacroft, but, more than that, no one else knew the whole story. Telling it had been too much for Oliver, an admission of failure. Amidst all the questions that followed when he quit his job and announced his holistic lifestyle makeover, he couldn’t admit his plan had fallen apart before he’d even packed up his desk at the firm. Better to soldier on like he’d always meant to go it alone. Except now he was here by himself, with no option but to succeed and fewer and fewer ways to make it happen.
He pressed himself closer to Nick, seeking comfort. How could he have thought he was going to let Nick go? “You should know it might be hard for me, sometimes. I want to trust you. I want to find out what this thing is between us. But sometimes—like today—it might be hard for me, and I need you to know why.”
Nick kissed him again, deeper this time. His hands were in Oliver’s hair. He hadn’t considered this element when he’d let it grow, but Nick’s fascination was exciting. Cooper had never touched him like that—the opportunity hadn’t been there—and now he was glad to have something that was theirs. His and Nick’s.
“We’ll take it slow.” Nick’s kisses moved to Oliver’s throat, and his body responded.
“Not that slow.” His hips shifted, his cock coming to alertness like he was still in his twenties, and he laughed against Nick’s lips.
Letting someone new into his body had been difficult. Letting someone new into his heart would be even harder.
For Nick, though, he was willing to try.
15
Oliver’s whole body dragged by the time he set up for the next workshop at Pulpability. Nick had spent the rest of the weekend with him, and, well, neither of them got much sleep. Letting Nick go had been hard as he put his clothes back on—again—and left for his shift. Oliver crashed early and slept through the night—something he almost never did. He woke in the morning to find a series of grumpy mid-shift texts from Nick about how tired he was and why he blamed Oliver for all of it. Oliver only felt guilty long enough to get to the store where he found Nick hanging out by the door.
“What are you doing here?”
“Wanted to see you. It’ll be a few days now until we can really see each other, but I’ve got to drive Hayden to school in another hour, so there’s no point in going home too soon. I’ll want to fall asleep.” He followed closely behind Oliver, who let them into the store.
Inside, when Oliver expected to be mauled after twelve hours of not being together, Nick was gentle. Soft touches, brief kisses. Oliver blended him a kale and coconut water smoothie, which he raised an eyebrow at but drank.
“That wasn’t bad.” Oliver kissed away the pale green smear on his lip. “I could have made you something nicer than this,” he said, a hand on the wobbly bar chairs that Oliver and Seb had assembled.
“You could?”
Nick gave him a shy smile. Oliver was falling so hard for Nick’s odd dichotomy: the imposing man who loomed and could use his size to intimidate if he needed to, and the soft-spoken person inside who did everything he could for his family. And made chairs, apparently.
“I’ve got a workshop at home.” Nick said. “It’s not fancy, but if you needed something, I could probably make it.”
Oliver wanted to say yes. He wanted to take Nick up on his offer. But the chairs he had were fine, more than fine considering how little use they got. And he’d want to pay Nick for his work, and that wasn’t an option at the moment.
He settled for a kiss at the corner of Nick’s mouth, one that slowly moved to the center and turned fiery. Never mind that they were standing in the middle of the shop, in full view of anyone who might walk by. No one was around this early in the morning.
“I should go,” Nick said eventually. He trailed his hands in Oliver’s hair.
“I’ll see you later?”
“I’ll text when I’m going on my break tonight.”
That was barely enough, but still the best they could do.
