Nick shrugged. “Tried to. But we didn’t have the kind of relationship that meant he’d listen to me, and now the kid I knew was gone. He used to be really close with Anya, but even she couldn’t reach him by then, and most of the time, I felt like all I could do was tell him to do his homework and listen to his mother. We tried the usual things: grounding him, extra chores, no friends over on the weekends. But he didn’t seem to care. He’d spend all his time in his room, and when the chores didn’t get done, what were we going to do? Tell him he had to do more on top of the ones he already hadn’t finished?”
Oliver could imagine how well that worked. He’d never had the kinds of problems Nick was talking about, but Seb had. So many nights in high school, their father had loomed over the heavy wooden table in the kitchen, demanding that Seb concentrate and do his homework, or there would be “consequences.” Seb had been Seb, all teenage sass and dramatics, and their father had been infuriated.
“I failed him, I think,” Nick said. “Or maybe we were never going to stop it.”
“Stop what?” This time, when Oliver slid over the couch cushions, Nick didn’t shy away. Oliver wrapped an arm over his broad shoulders, and Nick sagged against him.
“He got arrested again, last fall. He was harassing another boy in his class online. Anya said Hayden and the kid used to be friends, but . . .” Nick shrugged, settling further against Oliver’s chest. “Anyway, the records the police showed us said it had been going on for a while. The kid was gay, and Hayden was threatening to out him to their classmates, and . . .”
Oliver didn’t need to hear the specifics. He’d heard about enough cases like that to know. Schools had zero tolerance policies on bullying, and especially on cyberbullying, where the records were so easy to track. And if the victim was gay, it hit all the red flags for harassment.
“So they charged him as a juvenile.”
“The lawyer we hired said the court would probably go easy on him, but, I don’t know, something happened, and the next thing we knew, the lawyer was saying Hayden was going to jail and we didn’t know what to do.”
Professionally, Oliver was curious what the “something” was. Personally, he wanted Nick to stop telling this story because the distress in his expression was etching lines that didn’t look like they’d ever go away.
“It’s okay.” Oliver ran his fingers over Nick’s prickly scalp.
“No.” Nick wiped at his face. “No. You need to know this. When he got arrested, we didn’t have any idea what to do. Anya was hysterical, and Hayden wouldn’t help himself. He wouldn’t give a reason why he’d done it, or anything that might make it easier for him. And the lawyer said normally Hayden might get something like probation, or probably house arrest, but since Anya was by herself, and no one would be able to monitor and vouch for Hayden during the day, the judge might not think that was an appropriate sentence.”
Or the judge had seen a blue-collar kid with a single mother and decided to make an example of him.
“But he’s out now? He was at the market today.”
Nick shook his head. “I moved them back in with me. I told the lawyer that Anya and I had gotten back together, for Hayden, and now they could put him on house arrest because we could both vouch for him.”
The world rocked around Oliver. He staggered under the magnitude of it.
“How long has it been?”
“Six months. Originally, it was supposed to be three, but Hayden . . .”
“They’ve extended his sentence.” Oliver swallowed, then asked the question he didn’t need the answer to anymore. “So you’re all there, at your house. You, Hayden, and Anya?”
Nick turned up toward him. His eyes were black in the dark living room, and they were bright with unshed tears. “I told her about you, after this morning. I thought it was better to not make a big deal about it with her before, but that was wrong. So I told her. And now I’m telling you. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.” His voice took on an edge of desperation. “Anya sleeps in the guest room. She has since they moved back in. Everything we’re doing is for Hayden. When they finally take the tracker off his ankle, I don’t know what Anya will do, but...” He sniffed. “We both love our son as much as we know how to, but we don’t love each other. Not the way you think.”
Oliver didn’t know what to think. Accusing Nick of cheating was petty in comparison to the reality of it all.
“I’m sorry,” Nick said. “I should have told you sooner, but this thing with Hayden...It’s not only the last six months. It’s been going on for years in one way or another, and...Our arrangement—I needed it to be easy. Oliver, I’m so sorry.”
Oliver wanted to do so many different things at once. Hold him. Tell him it would be okay. Ask to see Hayden’s file and double check every detail.
Oliver chose the easy path and kissed him. Nick groaned under his mouth, the sound full of need and relief.
“Stay tonight?” How long had Nick been here? Oliver had been ready to tear the whole thing down less than an hour ago, and now he couldn’t make himself let Nick go.
Nick kissed his chin. “I’d really like that.”
14
Nick couldn’t believe he’d done it. He’d nearly turned around ten times on the drive over, and even as he knocked on the door and asked Oliver to let him in, he was terrified. He could have left details out, focused only on his divorce and skipped over the rest. But once he started talking, it all came out. Maybe he wanted forgiveness. Maybe he needed a pep talk.
In the end, he found himself watching TV with Oliver. For almost everyone, it would be such a normal thing, almost boring. Except, for Nick, the TV was the last place anyone in their house wanted to be in the evenings. The charging station was the worst of Hayden’s confinement. So many nights, Nick’s old sofa was the site of a stand-off.
Oliver’s body was warm where Nick rested against it. The couch here—firm, leather—had obviously been bought by a tall man trying to find something comfortable, because they fit together well on it. If they’d been at Nick’s, there would have been limbs sticking off every side.
“Does Hayden know you’re bi?” Oliver asked softly.
