He nodded and slipped the phone back into his pocket.
Her smile nearly tore him in half. “But that’s so great! Is it serious? How long? Why didn’t you say anything?”
He didn’t deserve her enthusiasm. “I didn’t—I couldn’t tell you. Because of Hayden.”
“You don’t want him to know you’re bisexual?” She sounded confused.
“I didn’t want to tellyou.I didn’t want you to think I was getting distracted. I promised you we’d do this together. The thing with Oliver—I didn’t want you to think I’d forgotten what I’d promised.”
Anya tilted her head to one side. “Babe.” Nick flinched at the old pet name. “I would never think that. You’re here every day. You’re more patient with Hayden than I am most of the time. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have something for yourself too.”
He didn’t cry very often, but the tightness in his chest constricted, squeezing his throat until the tears had nowhere to go but out. Anya cradled his face in her hands gently, like his mother would have, and waited for him to get himself together.
“It was the guy at the market,” he finally said.
It took a second for his words to reach her, and then she leaped out of her chair like the kitchen was on fire.
“The hot juice guy? The hipster with the beard? Holy shit! You’re dating him?” She waved her hands around in a weird happy dance.
Nick couldn’t return her excitement. “Not dating. Not exactly. We’re—We fool around sometimes.”
“Holy shit, you’rehaving sexwith him? What’s it like? How did you meet him? He’s so hot! You know how hot he is, right?” Her eyes were bright, and she was breathing so hard, he worried she might pass out. Nick guided her back to the kitchen table.
“It’s not serious. You don’t have to worry about him getting in the way of me being here.” She seemed to be taking this better than he expected or deserved, but he still needed to make sure she knew Hayden’s situation was the priority. He’d had his fun, and now Nick would come back to reality.
“Is that where you’ve been going? When you leave in the middle of the day?” Her eyes widened. “You had someone else’s clothes here last week. Were they his?”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s over.”
“What?” Anya’s smile faded so fast, he could practically hear the needle scratch.
“It was a casual thing and it’s over.”
“Why? What happened?”
He did not need couples counseling from his ex-wife. He had Brian for that. “He—We agreed that we’d keep our personal lives to ourselves. Nothing serious. No problems. But you guys have met him now, and if I see him again, he’ll want to know about you and Hayden, and that wasn’t part of the deal.”
Anya slapped him.
He didn’t even see her hand move, but he couldn’t miss the sting across his cheek. Anya was wide-eyed, hands over her mouth, like she couldn’t believe she’d done it.
Their marriage had had its failings, but they had never been abusive with each other.
“What was that for?”
“You do not get to be ashamed of us.”
“I’m not! I don’t—” He was ashamed of how much he needed to get away sometimes. What kind of father did that make him? But he’d never been ashamed of them. “What Hayden did, and what we have to do for him...That’s not something I want to talk about with most people.”
She exhaled slowly. “And that is understandable. But if it’s someone you care about, and someone who cares about you—those are the people youhaveto talk about it with.”
Did Oliver care about him? That had never been part of the agreement.
I want you.
When can I see you?
I can’t wait until Thursday.
