“And you’re making friends?”
“Did you kill someone? Are you going to jail?”
“No!” Brian’s voice rose, but then he sighed and set down his fork. “But I’ve been a dick lately, and I felt bad, okay? I told you to come stay with me, and I know it hasn’t been great. This thing with Jess, it’s—I’m sorry. I haven’t been the best brother, and I wanted to apologize. If you’re going to be a jerk about it, though...” He grabbed up his plate and went to stand.
“Sit down.” Martin held up his hand. Brian glared at him for a second, but then slumped back down in his seat.
“I was just trying to do something nice.” He poked at his food.
“It is. It is nice. Just surprisingthat you know how to make anything that won’t give us both salmonella by the morning.”
Brian scowled at him from under his brows, but a half smile formed on his lips. “You’re such a priss. You and your fancy words.”
“What? Salmonella? It’s a bacteria. Everyone should know what it is because food poisoning is not fancy.”
Brian laughed. “You’ve always used big words. Mom and I didn’t know what you were saying half the time once you got to high school.”
Martin remembered. His mom would praise him, and Brian would roll his eyes and call him a loser. One happy little family.
“I can’t help the words I use.” He’d been self-conscious about it when he’d been a teenager, but he’d been self-conscious about everything. His vocabulary, his weight, the way he’d rather read books than play sports with his brother.
“I know that now,” Brian said. They’d been so different, growing up. Brian had been the fun one, the athletic one, always with a girlfriend. He’d been an okay student and got a job at the fire department right away. Martin was the first person in their family to get a four-year degree. His family was good, sturdy, blue-collar people, and they’d never been quite sure what to make of him.
“I’ve been tutoring the girl who works at the bookstore with me,” Martin said. “She’s applying to art school and needed help with her application essays.”
“I bet you’d be good at that.” Brian smiled at him without any hint of sarcasm. “You do have all those big words. I bet colleges like that kind of thing.”
Martin shrugged, embarrassed by his brother’s compliment. “It’s just a personal essay. It’s not that hard.”
“For you, maybe. I could never do something like that.”
Martin considered his brother. He’d always admired Brian growing up, and the quiet envy in his voice now was a surprise.
“You’re pretty smart too.”
“Yeah.” Brian picked at a piece of chicken. “So smart I can’t even get my wife to move back in.”
Martin straightened. “Do you want to get back together?”
“I think it’s too late for that.” Brian shrugged, looking miserable. It was the first time he’d expressed any clear opinions on the breakdown of his marriage. Mostly, since Martin moved in, Brian dodged Jess’s calls, and avoided talking about it with Martin at all costs.
“Brian, I—”
“It’s okay, Smarts.” Brian gave him a forced smile. “There’s something you can learn from your older brother. Don’t make the same mistakes I did when you find someone.”
It was Martin’s turn to look down at his plate.
“I don’t see that happening anytime soon.”
“Oh come on. You’re a smart guy. Good looking too. Bet you...er...guys love those Lindsey eyes.”
Martin thought of Seb’s eyes, blue and laughing. They had been so close on the couch. Seb’s skin was lightly freckled, including one on his lip at the highest part below his nose. Martin thought Seb might kiss him, but instead he’d pushed away and left Martin there to gape.
“Wait. Did you meet someone?” Brian’s voice cut through his cataloguing of Seb’s features.
“No.”
“You did, didn’t you? You’ve got the dopey look on your face. Is that—I mean—Did you? I mean, how does that work?”
