Lost her deep sapphire eyes that reflect love at me when I stare into them.
Lost her soft full lips that kiss me so readily, offering comfort, and her luscious curves that fit perfectly against me when we lie together.
It’s not just those I’ve lost. It’s her laughing at stupid memes, her singing in the morning when she gets ready, the way she scoops her hair up into a messy bun and puts her glasses on to mark her books, chewing on her red pen. Her filthy cackle while she’s on the phone to her friend. The way her touch stills me inside, quiets all the noise in my head, how she seems to know just how and when to calm the cacophony inside me. I picture the massive hole she would leave if she walked out, and I know I need to give myself over completely to her. I could never be happy if I wasn’t entirely hers. I have to stop trying to fix everything and just be hers.
With her. For her. For me. For us.
Alexandra Ravensbrook
I realise I’ve given only parts of myself to her, holding fragments back. I’ve tried to control everything outside of the bedroom, fighting against my own desires.
I want her. I want her to own me, to let me pleasure her. I want to follow her lead and show her devotion and love like she’s never known. I need her to guide me, so I don’t keep fucking everything up.
I look into her eyes, so earnest, so pained, and I give myself to her completely.
“My queen, I’m all yours. Every part of me, body and soul. Totally.” I take a breath, laying everything on the line, tipping all my emotional baggage out right in front of her. “I want to give myself entirely to you.”
I straighten my spine, lower my head, and place my hands on my knees, adopting my ‘present’ position I’d been shown at the club but haven’t used yet with Isabelle. Kneeling, thighs spread, head bowed, palms up, I take a deep breath and still myself. The calm of being here with Isabelle soothes my soul. The clink of her wine glass settling on the table echoes in the silence.
“Upstairs, now. Strip and present. If I am to trust you, I need you to show me you trust me in the most vulnerable of ways,” she commands, walking over to stroke my hair from my face. “Will you give me everything, James? Will you submit to me entirely from now on, entrust me with every part of your body, and know I will only ever give you
Yes, Miss
pleasure?” Her cold, distant facade starts to crack, showing me my Isabelle.
“I do. You can have every part of me.” Nerves course through me, adrenaline making everything vibrate. I know exactly what she means, and I want to give it to her. I want to give her my pain, my pleasure, my obedience.
“Then get that peachy ass upstairs and strip. I’m going to make you suffer first for lying to me, for hiding from me. And then, my beautiful boy, I’m going to take your trust and show you how amazing it can be.”
I climb the stairs, nervousness ramping with each step. The bedroom door stands ajar, the light from the streetlamp casting shadows across the bedroom. The threshold feels like a doorway to a new beginning, and it’s a leap I’m ready to take. I stand in the moonlight, removing my t-shirt, fingers fumbling at my waistband as I undress, ready for Isabelle.
Finally naked, I tremble inside, my heart pounding. Anticipation, even fear, creeps through me. I breathe, focusing on the moment. The soft swish of Isabelle’s footsteps on the carpeted stairs sharpens my senses.
I drop to my knees and wait.
Head bowed, naked, knees spread, wholly exposing not just my body but my heart and soul. There’s nothing I won’t give her. My actions hurt her, and I can’t forgive myself. I tried to protect her but broke her trust instead.
Alexandra Ravensbrook
That’s what hurt her most, and my heart shatters. Hurting her is worse than admitting I fought her rapist ex-boyfriend.
The door opens, letting light from the hallway flood the room. I kneel there, a broken man. Every part of me wants to be hers, completely. I want her to piece me back together in her mould. I crave her touch, her punishment, her forgiveness. I need this tension crawling over my skin like beetles to be replaced by the pain she decides I deserve.
Her apple scent washes over me, and I breathe deep. Everything in me screams to stand, wrap my arms around her, and feel her soft skin against mine, but I stay still.
My duty is to kneel, surrender.
My beautiful love. My guiding light.
She moves around the room. Drawers open and close, and I stay motionless, listening. Rustling fabric. Clothes falling. Images of her naked flood my mind, my cock hardening at the thought of her curves, her skin, the way her touch soothes and calms me.
“My little pet…” Her voice is soft, melodic. “How beautiful you are ready and willing for me.”
She trails her fingers over my shoulders. Every muscle twitches, hungry for more, as I wait and force myself to still.
Yes, Miss
“You kneel so well for me, but can you take your punishment, sweet boy? You lied to me, and you broke my trust. But that's not all. You made me doubt your commitment, your feelings for me, and made me feel as though I couldn't trust you to come to me and be honest. That makes me feel as though you don't respect me or our dynamic. Is that the case, darling?” The bite in her tone strikes me to my core. She’s upset but in total control. I can breathe, finally. She’s here now, with me.
