Yes, Miss
Chapter 35
James
My phone buzzes on the coffee table again. I’ve been sitting here, numb, for an hour. Paralysed. Unable to think clearly about everything that has happened.
Rebecca looked heartbroken when she asked me to leave the premises. To walk away from the school as a ‘precaution’. As if I’m suddenly a danger to the kids I’ve spent years nurturing. The ones I coaxed out of their shells, the shy ones who finally found confidence and shone with joy onstage. The paperwork, the meetings, the late nights grading… None of it matters now. One complaint, and everything I built crumbles. Because of one stupid, malicious complaint.
And Isabelle, Christ, she’s so new to this. The teaching politics, the delicate tightrope act we do every day, doing our best. But she’s brilliant with the students. They adore her. I’ve watched her teach through the door, mesmerised by her passion and energy as much as her students are.. I can’t let this poison her career before it even starts.
Alexandra Ravensbrook
I’ve caused all this for the sake of my desires and sex. I brought all this to her door. And she doesn’t deserve any of it. Only deep down inside, I know it isn’t just sex. She brought light into my dull, meaningless life. I stumbled through each day not knowing what I wanted or where I was going, but she waltzed in, took me by the hand, and showed me how life could be. I am nothing without her.
My phone rings again, but I swipe the call off my screen. I can’t talk to anyone right now. Not even Isabelle.
I slump back against the sofa, closing my eyes against the world. I know I have to end it with Isabelle. She doesn’t deserve any of this. I should set her free from me. She could find a sub who’s already experienced enough to give her everything she wants, someone younger. She deserves someone better than me, someone who won’t cause all this hassle for her.
I sigh as I let my head fall back against the cushions.
Maybe Laura was right.
The repeated banging on the door has me bolting upright in my seat, my head fuzzy and taking too long to come round.
“Open the door, James.”
Yes, Miss
Who is that? The voice is a woman’s and vaguely familiar. My mind churns through the sludge that is my brain at that moment, trying to identify it.
“Now, James, or I will break it down. You know I do rugby too. I’m strong enough to do some damage, if not stronger than you!”
Jen, of course. She must have heard.
“I’m coming, hang on,” I groan, noticing as I walk to the door that it’s already starting to get darker, streetlights switching on. Shit, how long was I out? I open the door and turn to walk back into the kitchen, waving a hand in the air. “Come in. Bear with me. I was asleep.”
I flick on the kettle and take the coffee out of the cupboard. Turning, I notice another woman behind Jen. It’s Amy, her girlfriend. She waves a quiet hello from behind Jen as she follows into the kitchen.
“Switch that off! We’re not on the soft drinks tonight! We’re heading out. Let’s cheer you up!” Jen says brightly, clearly trying to encourage me along. I can’t face going out tonight. I don’t want to be around people. I just want to hide away and forget any of this has even happened.
“Jen, not tonight. I can’t. After today, I just don’t want to go out.”
Alexandra Ravensbrook
“If ever there was a time to be out with friends, it’s tonight. We got you, James. The last thing you’re doing is wallowing about. Where’s Isabelle, anyway?”
I can’t answer. I feel like I’ve betrayed her, thinking about ending everything with her.
“Don’t you fucking dare, James!”
My head whips up to see Jen leaning forward, hands resting on the kitchen island, her eyes boring into mine.
“I can see exactly what you’re thinking, and if you think walking away from her is better, you didn’t see what I saw today after you left. I watched a heartbroken woman who would do anything for you, and you know it.”
She’s right. I can’t be without her. And yet I’ve ignored her calls.
I drag my hands down my face and blow out a deep breath. We promised each other to stay strong, to work things out together. Without her, I’m lost. And here I am, thinking of cutting and running, in the hope it would help her.
