Kyle’s gravelly voice drifts from nearby. “That’s the dumbest excuse I’ve ever heard, and I once heard Nathan claim he ‘accidentally’ sat on a cucumber and that was the moaning that was coming from his room.”
“Hey!” Nathan protests from somewhere to my left. “That was a legitimate accident!”
“Sure it was,” Kyle deadpans. “Buy yourself a dildo like the rest of us, you freak.”
I rinse the shampoo out of my hair and ignore the tightening in my chest.
“I think it’s sweet,” Gerard continues, clearly enjoying discussing my nonexistent love life with a bunch of naked dudes. “You and Jackson make a cute couple. Oh! We can double-date now! You and him, and me and Elliot.”
“There will be no double-dating, because Jackson and I arenota couple. I don’t know why everyone is so insistent that we are. Since when did best friends become code for boyfriends?” I turn the water temperature up until it’s almost scalding. Perhaps if I boil myself alive, this conversation will end.
“Right,” Nathan says with a roll of his eyes. “That’s why you spent the entire day staring at his abs.”
“Everyone was staring at everyone’s abs. It was a fucking abdominal parade out there.”
“But you were only staring at one specific set of abs,” Gerard points out unhelpfully. “Jackson’s abs. Which, to be fair, are very nice. Not as nice as Elliot’s, obviously, but?—”
“Elliot doesn’t have abs,” Kyle interrupts.
“He has the perfect amount of abs for his body type!” Gerard defends. “They’re subtle abs. Sophisticated abs. The kind of abs that whisper instead of shout.”
I squeeze way too much body wash onto my loofah because if I don’t squeeze something, it’ll end up being Gerard’s neck. “Even if I did have the hots for Jackson—which I don’t—it wouldn’t matter because he’s straight. End of story. The Ice Queen and the rest of the campus can speculate all they want, but they’re barking up the wrong tree.”
“I don’t know,” Oliver muses. “The Ice Queen was pretty spot on about Gerard when it came to his crush on Elliot.”
“That was different,” I argue. “Gerard’s about as subtle as a neon sign. Everyone could see he was gone for the guy. He stalked him across the campus, chased after flying papers, and even waited for him outside of his class with lunch.”
“Uh…I’d like to think I was subtle,” Gerard protests, turning around with his hands on his hips and his monster dick swinging into his thigh. “Everything about me is subtle.”
We all burst out laughing. Even Kyle snorts.
“G, you hired the theater department to help you convince Elliot to move into the Hockey House.”
“I was being strategic!”
“If that was strategic, then slap my ass and call me Sally,” Nathan heckles, turning around to present his ass to Gerard.
Gerard knows when he’s been beaten. His whole body deflates, and he turns back to his shower. “Fine. Maybe I’m not the most subtle dude. But I’m telling you, Drew and Jackson will admit it and be Facebook official by the end of the semester. Mark my words.”
I turn off the shower and grab a towel from the shelf nearby. “I love how none of you are noticing the obvious—I don’t do relationships. Since when have you known me to be tied down to someone?”
“But you want to be,” Gerard says, turning off his shower and following me into the locker room without a towel because he’s Gerard. “I can tell. The way you stare at Jackson is how I stare at Elliot.”
My chest constricts even more, and I focus on digging clean clothes out of my locker, rather than face the truth. I do want more with Jackson. But wanting something doesn’t make it instantly possible.
I drop my towel and pull on my underwear. “Can we please drop this?”
“If you say so,” Gerard says, shrugging. “But if you ever change your mind. I’m happy to help. I’m a love expert now.”
“You’ve been dating Elliot for three months,” Kyle points out, walking into the locker room with a towel wrapped around his waist.
Gerard beams and nods like a bobblehead. “That’s three months of perfect, beautiful, life-changing love!”
“I’m going to throw up,” Kyle mutters.
I finish getting dressed and push all thoughts of Jackson from my mind. It only works for five seconds because the more I try not to think about him, the more he invades my thoughts.
Sometimes, I wish that Gerard and Elliot had never gotten together. At least then, Jackson would never have entered my orbit. But then again, if I didn’t want to know the guy at all, I never should have gone to that goddamn game freshman year.
