“Over what he started doing after I turned twenty-one,” I whisper. “After I started having heats.”
The room goes silent and my mind goes crazy wondering what they’re thinking.
“What did that motherfucking bastard do to you Beckham?”
I can tell Alaric is struggling to keep calm. I can’t let him lose it, not right now. After, sure but right now I need him.
“Promise me you won’t leave,” I beg him. “If I tell you, stay here with me because I need you.” I rasp, body trembling. “I can’t do this without you.” And I can’t. They’re my scent matches. I know if I don’t have them with me during this heat, I’ll feel like I’m going to die. I don’t want to feel that kind of pain.
Alaric’s nostrils flare, but he nods his head. “I promise I won’t go anywhere, okay?”
“Okay.” I nod, licking my dry lips and taking a deep breath. I don’t want to go into details, I think I’ve blocked out most of them anyway due to trauma but I want them to know enough to understand why I’m so damn afraid to just breathe since coming back.
“When my first heat started, I was planning on doing it alone. I bought everything I needed. All the toys, food stashed away in my room, I thought I knew what I was doing.” I laugh with no humor as I shake my head. “I was stupid and foolish to think that Ralph's abuse would just be physical. All it took was for that monster to smell my slick, and he showed me just how truly evil he is.” I grab a nearby pillow and run my hand over the soft material, not caring that I just messed up my nest.
“My dad was on a work trip, and Ralph was supposed to stay behind and handle things at home. Instead, he dragged me out of the main house and into one of the guest houses on the property. He kept me locked in there with him for days.” I chew on the inside of my cheek until the taste of copper coats mytongue. “At first, I begged him to stop, to not do it. I didn’t want him. Even though he was an alpha and I was an omega, I didn’t want him. Never in that way, never like that. I hated that man more than anything in the world. But he didn’t listen. As my heat got worse, I lost myself to the frenzy. I was stripped down of any humanity, and down to nothing but primal omega urges.” I look away. “At that point I didn’t care who was fucking me, as long as I was fucked, knotted, and came.”
I can feel their emotions in the air, their rage, their pain for me, their need to make it all better.
It nearly breaks me.
“You said no. You didn’t want it. Do not think for a moment that because you stopped fighting that you deserved any of it.” Jamie’s voice is filled with emotion.
“We would never do that to you,” Alaric chokes out. “We would never force you to do anything you didn’t want to do. Never hurt you. Never take advantage of you.”
“If you told us that you wanted to do this alone, we would respect that. We’d stay, we’d help, we’d do everything we could to make you feel good without touching you,” Tatum says. “This is your body, your heat, your choice. You are the one in charge. Not us. Never us.”
I’m crying now, and I feel so fucking stupid because of it. I’m a grown ass fucking man, these men are over ten years younger than me, yet I’ve never felt so small, so fragile.
I need them more than I need my next breath. They’re fucking perfect, so amazing. I don’t deserve them. But I’ll never let them go. They’re mine. Now and forever.
“I need you,” I sob out. “I need you so fucking badly it hurts. I trust you. Fuck, I’ve never trusted anyone more in my life then I trust you three. Just please don’t hurt me.”
“Never.” Alaric growls.
I reach a hand out and he takes it. I pull him towards me and he crashes into me, my arms wrapping around him as I hold him to me like he’s my lifeline, the other two joining us, their bodies pressed to ours, giving me their strength.
I cry for the boy I never got to be. The omega who was forced to hide and run. The man who gave up so much because he felt like he had nothing to give.
When I’m done crying and my body starts to feel the familiar warmth again, I know I’m going to start to drift deeper into my heat.
“Before I’m no longer lucid,” I say, sniffing as I pull away. “If I ask you to bite me, would you?”
“During your heat?” Tatum asks and I nod my head.
“Would you do it if I said you could? If I gave you permission right now to bite me if I beg for it, would you?”
“In a fucking heartbeat, baby. You’re ours Beckham. Have been since the moment we laid eyes on you, even before we found out we were scent matches. No hesitation. But only if you wanted it.”
“I do,” I whisper. “I really do. You’re mine. My alphas, my pack. My life. I can’t imagine a future without the three of you. I’m all in. I want this. It might not look like every other pack, but it’s ours. And it’s perfect for us. You’re perfect for me.”
“You want our marks, baby?” Alaric says, brushing his thumb against my neck. “They’re all yours. But, you have to bite us too.” He gives a cheeky little smile. “The world might not know who claimed us for a little while, but we will. And we will wear them like a badge of honor."
I laugh, eyes brimming with tears before I groan, a mild but uncomfortable cramp jolting through my stomach.
“Then I give you permission. Bite me when I beg you, because I will. Make me yours forever. Now please, someone make me cum.”
CHAPTER 19
