“Wait, you're not mad?” I ask, not able to hide the relief.
“Mad? Why would I be mad? Are they treating you well? Because if they’re not then we’ll have a problem," he growls.
“No.” I laugh softly. “They’re not treating me badly. So far, apart from their cocky mouths, they’ve treated me with respect. But apart from that, I’ve kind of been avoiding them.”
“Why?”
“Because of a lot of things.” I lean back into my seat. “For one, the age difference. I’m fifteen years older than them. And for another, I’m their professor.” I don’t tell him about the fact that until them, I couldn’t stand to be around alphas. I also refuse to tell him that I feared them more than anything, and the reason why I haven’t just given into this pack life is because I can’t risk going all in until I know they won’t try to pull that controlling stuff on me.
So far, they’ve proved everything Jamie said they would.
“You can’t deny a scent match bond, Beckham. None of that matters. You can make it work. I want you to be happy. And if these men make you happy, let them.”
My eyes sting. “Thank you,” I whisper.
“And that brings me to what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Okay.” I nod, listening to what he has to say.
“You’re not joining the family business,” he states a matter of factly.
“What?” My brows furrow. “Why?” And why am I arguing? I don’t want to join. He’s giving me an out, but why?
“Because while you grew up in this life, being the head of a mafia was something I know you never wanted. I thought whenyou got older, you would change your mind. But then you left for so long and I thought I lost you.” His jaw clenches. “And now that I finally have you back, you're miserable. You’ve been so distant, and I fear it’s because you might feel pressured by me. To please me. To do what you think I want of you and are avoiding me so you don’t have to.”
“Dad,” I rasp out, shaking my head. “It’s nothing like that.” I want to tell him the real reason, but I can’t get the words to come out.
“Do you want to join the family business? Do you want to take over for me someday?”
I bite my lip, not wanting to lie, but also not having the balls to tell him the truth.
He takes my hand and pats the back of it, smiling softly. “I can see it in your eyes, Beckham. You don’t want this life for yourself. You love your job teaching. All I want for you is to be happy. And I’d be happy enough just to have you close by. I missed you son. So damn much. And I don’t want to do anything that will drive you away again.”
“I’m not going anywhere dad,” I promise him. Even though the reason why I came here no longer applies, I wasn’t planning on leaving.
I was going to suck it up when it came to Ralph and just move on with my life so I could be close to my dad. Now I have my pack.
We talk for a few hours, laughing as we reminisce about the past.
By the time we leave, I feel like everything just might be okay for once in my life.
Dad doesn’t hate me for not wanting to take over for him and I don’t have to worry myself sick anymore with fear of disappointing him. Things seem to be looking up. Maybe things can get better.
It’s my day off and I’ve spent half of it going out of my mind. I’m bored. I’m tired of reading, and watching TV. So, I went for a swim, hung out with my dad before he had to work, and I’m still a mess.
I am so far past obsessed with these men that I even think about going into work on my day off just for the chance of seeing them. How pathetic am I?
I’m a grown man for fuck’s sake and all I want to do is stalk my alphas. Maybe this whole going slowly thing isn’t such a good idea.
I find myself craving them more and more with every passing day. And they have been so damn patient with me and it honestly means a lot to me.
They’re trying. Going out of their way to make me feel comfortable. They want this. I know I need to give them something back. To show them I want this too.
Because I do. I really fucking do.
Needing to get out of my head before I call them up and beg to see them, doing something stupid I might not be ready for, I head to one of the clubs in town. It’s called The Frenzy.
I could go to my regular place, but tonight I just want to drink and sit with my thoughts, not having to bother interacting with anyone. I could drink at home alone, but that's just sad.
