Guess I don’t really get a say in my life. Between being in the mafia because of who my father is, and the universe giving me another big fuck you on top of all the bullshit I’ve had to deal with by giving me not one, not two, but three fucking alphas, I’m doomed to suffer.
I shouldn’t have come back here. I should have just found another town to start over in.
Coming back has only caused more issues than solving any. I’m no closer to finding out who was dealing the dirty drugs, the whole fucking reason I came back here.
I’ve deluded myself into thinking that because students stopped dying, that the issue solved itself. It didn’t. I’m just a fucking coward who can’t stand being in the same room as his abuser, even if it means potentially saving lives in the future, or getting justice for the ones already lost.
This has to be karma for turning my back on what I came here to do.
I was selfish, and now I’m paying.
In the form of three men. Who are not only ten years younger than me, and my students, but also the sons of other mafia families.
If my father knew who I was scent matched to, he’d be over the fucking moon. To him, it would be a guarantee of me being a part of the world he spent most of my life setting me up to take over.
Only, I have no idea how that would work. Would he want me to still be a part of the family business? Would this be a conflict of interest with them technically being our rivals?
Not that it matters, because this means nothing. They mean nothing to me. I’m not going to be their omega. They are not my alphas. Damn what my body, heart, and fucking soul feel.
And my cock. My fucking cock.
“Backstabbing asshole,” I hiss down at my dick that is straining to escape.
The scent is everywhere. It’s not just a person passing by and their scent lingering. No, this is potent, like the person is right here in the room with me.
Only, they’re not. No one but me is in this room.
Tatum, or Alaric are gone, but for how long? They know where I’m staying, they probably saw I wasn’t here and plan to come back.
When? How long do I have to get my shit together and find another place to stay?
Would there even be a point? I wouldn’t put it past them that now they know where I’m staying, they will have eyes on me at all times.
They are not the kind of men to give up, that much I’ve come to know.
If I’m what they want, they won’t stop until they get me.
The idea both thrills and terrifies me. Everything inside me is screaming to go to them. To let them take care of me, be there for me, love me.
And the other part is telling me to run far and fast. Because at the end of the day, alphas think with their dicks, not their minds. They don’t take no for an answer, not when they’re being overrun by their instincts.
I can’t put myself in that situation. I can’t allow these guys to control me, or have any power over me. I can’t. I won’t.
But how the fuck do I continue going on? How do I go to work knowing they’re in my class? How do I see them every day and not break down because of how much my body is telling me I need them.
I’ve been a fucking mess since I left the classroom. As soon as I got into my car, I found the nearest motel and got a room, went to the liquor store across the street, bought way too manybottles of whiskey and have been locked up in this tiny dingy room, drinking myself into a coma to forget.
And it’s worked for the most part. I can't think about them when I’m sleeping. The dreamless nights have been the only peace I’ve managed to get.
When I’m awake, my heart hurts. My body aches. I’ve never hated being an omega so much in my life as I do right now.
Because of that, I’m filled with so much shame it makes me sick. I’ve always prided myself on being an omega. Even when my designation worked against me when I first presented.
I’ve worked hard to be in control of my own life, my own mind and my own body.
Now I feel like all my control has been ripped away and I don’t know what to do with myself.
A part of me feels like maybe it would be better to end it all, but that would be the coward's way out.
