“Please punish me, sir,” I said at last, holding my breath as soon as the words were out of my mouth.
Antony leaned over and pressed a quick, reassuring kiss to the top of my head before answering, “As you wish. Please go to my saddle bag and retrieve the switches.”
“You… you kept them?” I swallowed hard.
“I thought it would be wise.”
Without another word I stood up, reluctant to leave the comforting warmth of his lap and equally reluctant to return to it, knowing I would then be over it. I took my time walking to his saddlebag and opened it slowly. A long switch was poking out the moment I pushed back the opening. When I slid my hand inside, I found two more next to the first. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly as I took them in hand, stiffening my spine against the inevitable. How silly I had been to ask for such a thing! Surely, there could even now be a reprieve if I asked for one? Yet, I knew that I wouldn’t. I’d meant what I said: if I was going to marry again, I wanted to at least do whatI could to ensure that it might be an amicable one. I was beginning to think that was the best a woman could hope for.
“Pick one,” he ordered, not unkindly, when I held them out to him.
“I… I’m not certain…” I looked down at the switches helplessly, not seeing much difference from one to the next. I was sure that they could each light a fire in my backside, so I didn’t see much point to choosing between them. Yet, Antony had asked me to do it and I knew it was part of the punishment. After a few moments, I settled on the thinnest one of the three, hoping that since it was smaller it would hurt less.
Antony’s face gave nothing away as I showed it to him. “Very good. Now, pray you don’t ever give me cause to use it.”
“I’m sorry? I don’t think I understand.”
“I’m not going to switch you this time, Cecily. I’d intended to, that’s true, but given what you’ve been through, I would like to show you kindness. Now mind, that won’t sway me if there is a need to punish you a second time.”
“Yes, sir,” I agreed, eager to be agreeable.
“Go put your choice back in my saddlebag, please. Then I want you to come stand in front of me and pull your pantalets down.”
Just the thought made me blush so hotly that I feared my skin might stain permanently from the shame of it. “Sir?” I queried weakly.
“Put it in the saddlebag, Cecily,” he ordered once more, clearly not intending to explain his instructions.
I hurried to do his bidding, but I felt my footsteps slowing upon the return. Slow or no, it was inevitable that I would end up standing in front of him, facing his inscrutable expression as he waited patiently for me to carry out the rest of his commands. I dropped my eyes to the straw on the ground, unable to look at him as I slid my hand beneath my gown and petticoats. I pulled my pantalets down as far as I was able and stood, my cheeks flaming as I waited for him to speak.
“Look at me, Cecily.” His voice was firm and I felt my eyes being drawn to him despite myself.
“I can’t bear it,” I murmured. “Are you trying to humiliate me?”
“If it will keep you from disobeying me in the future, then yes.”
I gasped at his pronouncement, but he held up a hand to silence me before I could reply.
“I only ask you to do things for your own good, Cecily. It is not my plan to degrade you or treat you as anything but the lady I believe you to be. However, when you choose to disobey me and thus endanger yourself, you will be subject to any punishment I deem fit. Now, tell me, why are you being chastised?”
“I… ah…” I could feel my cheeks blaze with such heat that it began to spread to my neck.
“Because you disobeyed me,” he prompted. “You were told to stay putand avoid strangers, yet when men came riding by, you sought them out. You could have been hurt, Cecily. They could have had their way with you had I not been there.”
“But you were,” I protested weakly.
“And if I hadn’t been?” he demanded, his voice suddenly sharp. “Do I need to further explain myself? They could have taken you with them, to God-knows-where. They could have raped you, each taking his turn before they left you lying on the ground. There are endless possibilities, each more horrifying than the last. I thank God Iwasthere, but that in no way excuses you from the lashing you so richly deserve.”
Before he stopped speaking my eyes were wide with realization. What he said was true. I could have been beaten or violated. I was so accustomed to having my word obeyed that I took careless risks that would have only served to get me hurt.
“Now, come here and take your spanking.”
Tears had risen to my eyes while he’d been scolding me, but the pronouncement that my punishment was at hand made a lone tear streak down my cheek. Still, I moved toward him and placed myself as gracefully as I could manage over his lap.
Antony immediately peeled back my petticoats, exposing my naked skin to the cool night air. “You’ll remember that I told you last time that if I needed to punish you again, it would be on the bare.”
“Yes, sir,” I replied, trying unsuccessfully to hide the tremor in my voice. It was matched by the one shaking my body.
“Are you afraid of me, Cecily?” he asked suddenly, sounding so concerned that it took me aback.
