“Oh, you’re beautiful, there is no doubt of that. You are as pretty as the princess herself is rumored to be, but that is not what I meant, my lady. No, I took one look at you and I saw your fiery spirit, your tender heart. I knew that you’d undoubtedly fight when the army came, just as I knew that your side would have to lose.” He paused here, as if to allow my objection, but I was too focused on what he was saying to make one. “In that one moment, I saw a hundred possibilities of what might become of you, and I couldn’t allow it.”
“Did it ever occur to you that I might prefer to die where I stood, with my family, than to be taken by a stranger?”
“Of course it occurred to me, Cecily,” he answered, his voice as gentled as though he spoke to a babe. “And just as soon as it had, I knew that I could not allow it. I’m afraid you must forgive me for it, if it offends you.”
I weighed his words against the level calm with which he watched me, and I knew him to be sincere. When I searched for my own feelings, I found that I was not nearly as angry at him as I would have liked to be. I delved deep to find a scorching remark or quelling glare, but I could summon neither. Instead, I bowed my head and answered, “I will need time to think.”
“Of course,” he replied, in the same gentle, considerate voice. “As you wish, my lady. If you’ve finished breaking your fast, we should ready ourselves for the day’s journey.”
Nothing more needed to be said, and we stood and began preparing to depart. Though Antony did not seem angered by my response—or lack of one—there was a tenseness between us, a bevy of things that had been left unsaid. As we rode, my mind was plagued with thoughts that would not be dismissed, no matter how hard I tried. I thought of the life I’d once led, as a duchess. It was all I’d ever been raised to want and I was carrying the duke’s child. That should have made me the happiest woman in all the kingdom, but I’d been far from happy. Then, that night I’d seen him with that slender harlot on his lap… the memory still caused bile to rise to my throat. He had dared to humiliate me in front of the entire court, simply because he could.
I could not imagine Antony ever doing such a thing. I’d known him forsuch a small time, and yet, couldn’t I say the same of Wallace? It was how such things were done. Antony did not possess a single drop of royal blood, and yet, he was the only man who’d ever told me I had the right to choose. Where would I go, if I did not become his wife? Somehow, I sensed even without asking that he would find a place for me and honor his word to never force me.
Yet, he was the enemy. How could I feel anything but contempt for someone who had helped destroy the only life I’d ever known? Who had destroyed my family?
Just then, I felt a short, sharp kick in my ribs that made me draw in my breath loudly. I looked down at my rounding belly and slowly, a smile of wonder spread across my face. It was the babe inside me, making its presence known.
“My lady?”
I looked up at the concern in Antony’s voice and saw that he’d drawn his horse up next to mine and taken the reins so that my horse would stop.
“Are you unwell?”
“No,” I answered, my smile growing as I looked at him. “Not at all.”
I could see by his expression that he did not believe me. “Perhaps we should take a brief rest.”
“Antony!” I protested with a laugh. “We’ve only just begun to ride.”
“Yes, but…” He trailed off slowly as he looked at me, and then a smile broke across his face as well. “Do you realize that is the first time you’ve ever said my name?”
“Surely not,” I objected with a shake of my head and another laugh.
“It ‘tis. And I must confess, Duchess, that the only thing I can think of is how to make you say it again.”
I dropped my eyes shyly, looking once more at my growing stomach. The gown hid it well, but I knew that my child was there, biding his time until he would make his appearance in the world. The thought filled me with an unspeakable joy that I could not contain. “You… you asked me what I would expect.”
“Yes, my lady. Have you had time to think?”
Had I had time to think? Was I even thinking clearly? Everything felt so wondrous and beautiful in this moment that it was hard to focus on the evil in the world, or the wrong that had been done to me. The heart of the matter was this: if Wallace was truly dead—and how would I ever discover otherwise?—I needed a husband. A woman of any position could not survive without one, and more importantly, I needed a father for the child I carried.
What kind of husband would Antony make? He seemed kind, but then, Wallace had seemed kind in the beginning, too. Despite how tenderly Antony cared for me, he too might turn on me. Yet, I knew that I did not truly have another viable option. Without Wallace, I had no standing. I was not a royalduchess any longer. I had no lands or wealth to pass on to the child I carried. There was nothing for me to do but agree.
“You asked me what I would require in a husband,” I said once more, raising my head to look him straight in the eye. “I will promise to obey and respect you, and in return, I ask that you provide for me, protect me, and treat the child I will bear as your own.” I spoke as matter-of-factly as I could, though there was no denying that I wished to turn and flee the moment the words were out. I’d never spoken of my baby before—neither, for that matter, had Antony, though I realized that even though I was not beginning to show, he might at least suspect that I was with child. But if I were going to marry again, I had to lay out my concerns now before vows were said between us.
Rather than answering, Antony dismounted his horse and swung me down from mine in one swift movement. Then he shocked me further by dropping down on a knee in front of me and taking my hand in his. “I solemnly give you my word that I will do these things. As my wife, you may not have the comforts you are accustomed to, but you will never go hungry or be without a roof over your head. I will raise your child as though it were mine, be it male or female.”
“Thank you,” I murmured humbly.
“It is my pleasure, my lady. Only, it surprises me that you do not speak of love.”
“Love?” I tried to laugh, but found that I could not manage it. “It has been my experience that love is not often a term of marriage, sir.”
“I see. Perhaps, in time, you will come to love me.”
“Perhaps.” I wished I could offer him more, but just then I could not see how I would ever grow to love him or he me. We were enemies, and nothing would change that, not truly. No matter how well we might live together, or even if I bore his children, I’d always know in the back of my mind what he was. I’d always know that my son or daughter had him to blame for the death of their father, at least in part. Yet, I pushed these thoughts aside and ventured a tiny smile.
When Antony saw it, he bent his head and brought his lips to my hand. “I promise that I shall do my best to ensure that you never have cause to regret it.”
