“Ah, well, you’re headed in the right direction. Only an hour’s ride down this road and you’ll find a quiet inn. The rooms aren’t much to speak of, but the food will keep you warm and full.”
“Many thanks to you. M’lady,” he said, nodding in my direction.
“Wait.” I swallowed hard, already fearing the answer to the question I knew I must ask. “Did you… the Duke of Württemberg. Do you have any news of him?”
“Ah, the Duke of Württemberg, you say? As a matter of fact, I’d heard that he was mortally wounded fleeing the battle. Was he a friend of yours, my lady?”
Fleeing the battle. So, he’d come for me, after all. He must have assumed I’d ridden for Hohenzollern, and instead of me, he’d found a battle and his untimely end. “No,” I answered, feeling hollow deep down inside where my heart should be.
“Then perhaps it’s nothing to you that he’s dead. Thank you again for your assistance.”
I didn’t trouble to make a reply and instead watched as he climbed in the saddle and snapped the reins. In moments he and his companions were out of sight. I stared after them without truly seeing. My mind was spinning with what I’d learned and all of the emotions that came with it. I simply couldn’t believe it.
Nearly as soon as they’d vanished, Antony turned to me, and I could see in a glance that he was not well pleased. If I’d had any doubts, his first words to me would have alleviated them. “What did I tell you specificallynotto do, Cecily?”
For one moment, I felt like a scolded child. I was ready to give him an abashed apology when I remembered that I was still angry. I was more than that—I was shocked and hurt and grieving and I wouldn’t be spoken to in such a manner. “Have a care for the way you address me, sir. I don’t think I like your tone.”
He regarded me with stern gray eyes that any other time would have brought me to heel. “Indeed? Well, I don’t care for the way you disregard my instructions. Which were, if you recall,notto speak to strangers who might come riding by.”
“And who areyouto order one such as me?” I demanded, narrowing my eyes and drawing myself to my full height.
“Your protector, in case you haven’t been paying attention.”
“And that gives you the right—”
“I told you, Cecily. You’re to be my wife. That gives me every right.”
“Perhaps I don’t care to be your wife!” I said with a little toss of my hair. I wanted to hurt him—God help me, he’d been nothing but considerate to me in every instance, but my heart was bleeding and I wanted someone to hurt the way I did, even if it was only to the smallest degree.
“Very well,” he answered with the bland aplomb I’d become accustomed to. “Be that as it may, so long as we travel together you need to follow my instructions. We’ve had this conversation before.”
“They were riding on Hohenzollern horses!” I exclaimed, my words running together in an angry hiss. “What was I to do? Ignore their impudence?”
“Yes, my lady. That is exactly what you were to do.” Though I had no doubt that he meant what he said, his voice held a measure of regret. “I feel for your situation, Cecily. Please believe me, I do. But you won’t do anything but harm if you keep accosting every man that displeases you. And Cecily… I truly am sorry for your loss.”
I was still trying to assess my own feelings about what I’d learned and certainly wasn’t ready to discuss it. “Did you bring the firewood?” I asked, my voice mulish.
Antony stared at me with a firm gaze that made me drop my eyes and turn away. “As a matter of fact, no. I came back when I heard the horses. I had a feeling that, despite my explicit instructions, you would manage to get yourself into trouble.”
“Well, then you worried for nothing. As you can see, I’m fine.”
“Yes. But I wonder, do you think that would still be the case if I hadn’t come along?”
I folded my arms across my chest, turned my back on him, and refused to answer.
Antony did not speak for a long moment and when he did, his voice was gruff. “I am going to see to that firewood now. Though I know you won’t heed me, I feel I must tell you once more to stay out of sight.”
I didn’t answer, but it didn’t seem that he’d expected me to, because the next thing I knew, he was gone. Strangely, once I’d been left all alone, the anger drained out of me until I felt as sad and hollow as a shell. My legs gave way beneath me and I found myself crumpling to the ground. My breath left my body in a long, anguished cry before I began heaving with sobs.
It couldn’t be true—it couldn’t, and yet, it must be. Antony had tried to tell me, but I’d been too stubborn to hear him, convinced that he would only say those things to hurt me. But now that I’d heard from someone else… seen with my own two eyes the proof, it was indisputable. My home was gone. There would be no escaping from Antony, for even if I could, there was nowhere I might return. The castle I’d grown up in was taken, the life I’d once led was no more.
All the faces of the people I’d once known flashed before my mind’s eye in a blur. My ladies-in-waiting. Susanna. What had become of them? Would they have been raped, or even… killed? The thought was too horrible to bear, and soon I was doubled over with heaving sobs that seemed to go on and on until I feared that they would never abate. Finally, I caught my breath, and with it I got control of myself. I couldn’t stay here, crying on the cold, wet ground. I had to get up. I had todosomething. Even if the only thing I could do was find wood for the fire.
That was how Antony found me when he returned, on my knees and brushing snow off icy leaves to scout for twigs. “Cecily! Whatever are you doing?” he demanded as he marched toward me.
“I’m looking for firewood,” I explained as I accepted the hand he extended. After he’d helped me up, I began brushing the dirt and leaves from my gown, not even taking notice of the filth. What did it matter now? I would be going to a place where no one cared how fine my gown was, or if my headdress was in the latest fashion—which was good, for I had none.
“Why do you trouble yourself with things I’ve told you I will worry about?” he asked, sounding more than a little irritable.
