“Would you like something to eat?” Remembering what had happenedthe last time I’d eaten was enough to deter me and I shook my head. “You’re certain? We’ll be readying the horses shortly, and I’m afraid we’ll be riding for most of the day.”
“I can manage.”
For a moment, I thought he might argue, but in the end Antony nodded. “As you wish.”
Antony left soon after to take care of the horses and pack provisions and I did my best to freshen up before we left.
I saw straight away that he’d told it true—we were riding hard, and covering a lot of ground. I winced often as my bottom bounced in the saddle, but I did my best to keep my discomfort from him.
We rode hard and traveled with nary a word between us, which was just fine with me. I wasn’t angry at him anymore for the spanking, but I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. I couldn’t find the courage even to look him in the eye, much less speak to him. It wasn’t a feeling that I was accustomed to, and certainly not one that I enjoyed.
When Antony halted his horse, I was quick to do the same. “Would you care for a break, my lady? I wouldn’t say no to a rest.”
“Certainly,” I murmured, still avoiding his gaze.
Antony dismounted in one quick motion and came toward me, offering his hand. After a brief pause, I took it and allowed him to help me from the horse. It wasn’t until I was sitting on solid ground that I realized how badly I was in need of a rest from our wearisome travels.
“It isn’t much,” he said by way of apology as he offered me an apple and a large piece of day-old bread.
I took what he offered and quickly busied myself with the task of eating so that I didn’t have to reply. Not that he seemed to mind—Antony had no trouble filling in the silence.
“My Sarah used to bake the finest bread any man’s ever tasted,” he remarked as he tore a chunk off with his teeth. I gave him a sidelong glance as I ate my portion in small, ladylike bites. “Sarah was my wife,” he explained, though I hadn’t inquired. “A finer lady has never been made, before or since.” After speaking, he bowed his head for a moment, as though in remembrance.
I wondered what he remembered. My own memories, so fresh in my mind, were nothing one would want to remember. “Your wife?” I ventured, intrigued despite myself.
Something in my tone made him laugh. “Yes, my lady. Did you think me a leper without friend or family to speak of?”
“No,” I answered softly, because the truth was, I hadn’t thought of it at all.
“She was the most Godly, the most giving of women,” he told me, his voice turning reverent. “I don’t suppose you can bake?”
I couldn’t help but smile at the longing in his voice. “No, I’m afraid not.”
“It’s a useful skill to have, Duchess. Perhaps you could learn. We’ll see to it that you get a lesson when we get home.”
I couldn’t help but flinch as he spoke of “home” knowing that it meant two entirely different things to us, but I didn’t offer a word in protest. In fact, I ate in silence for the remainder of the meager meal, and he seemed too lost in his own thoughts to notice.
As soon as we were both finished, we mounted our horses once more and began to ride for a destination that was unknown to me. It occurred to me more than once that now that I had my own horse, perhaps an opportunity to try to escape would arise. Though I’d become more pliant following my recent chastisement, the desire to return home was one that stayed with me, even if I ceased being vocal about it. But horse or no, I realized that I didn’t know the landscape well enough to survive. Nor did I know what road would lead me back to Hohenzollern. And then, of course, there was the matter of the retribution I would face once more at his hands if I were caught, which made it all the more imperative that I be certain of escape before I tried to attempt it.
I kept my eyes fixed straight in front of me, my vision filled with a line of trees that made up the endless landscape we rode along. Was it any wonder that I would need assistance finding my way back home? Every snowy hill and frost-covered tree looked the same to me. The more we rode, the more I silently began to question if even Antony knew where we were going. I became bored early on in our journey and my mind began to wander, thoughts of my life at the castle distracting me. I was so lost in thought, in fact, that I began to take no notice of any of the landscape that whirred by as we rode. I didn’t even take notice when the sun began to sink in the great, vast sky and still, we rode on. Only when Antony pulled his horse to a stop did I wake from my trance.
“We can sleep here tonight,” he remarked as he dismounted. “The ground is soft enough.”
“The g-ground?” I echoed as he helped me down, certain I must have misheard him. “But I… I’ve never…”
“It’s nothing to fear, princess,” he said with the gently mocking smile I was becoming accustomed to. “It won’t open up and swallow you, I swear it. And if it does, then I’ll go to the depths of hell to rescue you.”
I was used to courtly flattery, and perhaps it was that—this small reminder of what I’d left behind, the remembrance of the kinds of promises Wallace had once made—that made my eyes narrow as I looked at him. “Perhaps it will do me the favor of swallowing you then, so that I might return home.”
“Perhaps,” he agreed, chuckling despite the daggers I glared at him.
I hoped that Wallace missed me. I hoped he pined for me and repented of every harsh word, every indecent action. Perhaps this would be a blessing in disguise. If my lord husband rued his treatment of me, then it would not beall for nothing. I would forgive him, of course, after a time. And then I would make him order me ten new gowns, for I found I never wanted to be in a dirty dress again.
“I will go scout for firewood, though God knows it will be scarce in this weather. I don’t fancy running after little girls who can’t behave, so see to it that you stay put.”
I whirled on him, prepared to shout that I was a duchess and far from a little girl, when I realized that was just what he wanted. Instead, I clamped my mouth shut while giving him another poisonous stare, but he only wagged a finger at me in warning as though my withering looks meant nothing to him.
“And if anyone should happen this way, don’t attract attention to yourself, and don’t speak to them. I am certain you still remember what happened last time.”
