He was surprised by this, he had to admit. He hadn’t thought it was possible for her to remember him. It was nearly a year ago now, and he knew there wasn’t anything memorable about him. He’d barely gotten to speak to her, since her uncle was so aggressive toward him. “You did?”
She nodded. “I don’t see how I could have forgotten. You have a very recognizable face and voice,” she told him.
He grinned impishly, unable to help himself as he pulled her closer by clamping his hand over her bottom and pushing himself deeper into her. “I do?”
He didn’t feel so mischievous when he saw her frowning. She looked deep in thought. “Your threat revolved in my mind for this full eight monthssince,” she told him. He watched her long, black lashes flutter on her smooth cheeks. “When do we go to Vienna?”
He closed his eyes, then hugged her closer. He didn’t want to talk about Vienna. He didn’t want to leave this moment! He sighed and begged, “Let’s not talk about Vienna now. That’s the future. Let’s enjoy what we have right now.”
He held her close, stroking his fingers through her hair as he felt her breathing against his neck. He enjoyed her warmth, even the sound of her breathing.
After a moment, she asked, “So why did you have Rennio guard me of all people?”
He gave a laugh so hard that he pulled out of her, then rolled onto his back. As he pulled her into a nook between his chest and his shoulder, he answered, “Let’s not talk about the bishop, either.”
“He’s an odd sort of man, is he not?” she asked, glancing up at him.
“Yes, but he’s also a man I trust. That’s why I had him guard you. He might be a horrible conversationalist and he’s got the manners of a goat, but he would never seek to have his way with you.” He grinned. “I’m the only one who can do that.”
She giggled slightly under him, then blinked at him with innocent round eyes. “What about you?” she asked. “Do you have a family and a home?”
He shrugged and rubbed his hands together idly. “I own a sizable amount of land in Bavaria which I’ve purchased over the years.”
“Purchased with your spoils from sacking castles like mine?” she asked pointedly.
He smiled, not letting her ruffle him. “Yes, some of it, but most of it with money I’ve been paid to defend one castle or another so that one lord can prevent some other lord from acquiring spoils at his expense.”
“But you don’t actually have a home, then, just lands you own?” she pressed him.
“I’ve had a modest estate constructed on my lands, and I pay a steward to manage it for me, at least until I’m ready to retire and live there myself.”
“And your wife?” she asked, cocking her head to the side.
He shook his head and smirked at her. “No wife. Which is too bad because my steward is ten years my junior and already has five children. Every time I stop by the estate, he has a new addition.”
She gave a small, though very real laugh. His stomach twisted at the sound, and his eyes followed the way her perfect, pink lips opened and curved with delight at his description. “He’s younger but wiser, then?” she asked teasingly, her eyes twinkling at him.
He gave a laugh. “Oh yes. Most surely he is the wiser of us. He chose a peaceful life, while I chose this.” He motioned to the pavilion surrounding him. “I nearly freeze to death every winter. I’m paid well, but money onlygoes so far out here. Sometimes I think that I’d trade my every last coin for a warmer blanket.”
She smiled up at him. It was a beautiful smile, though her teeth weren’t perfectly straight and her front teeth were larger than others. Her smile seemed almost childlike, he thought, which might have been why she didn’t use it often. Her mother had probably trained smiling out of her. She snuggled back into him, saying thoughtfully, “I think I was at my wisest when I was ten years old. I ran away for a full five days before I was found,” she told him, and he knew she was smiling against his chest. “Those were the happiest five days of my life. I did nothing but get dirty, run around, and eat berries in the forest.” She laughed. “When my father’s men found me, I was covered head to toe in mud and the berry stains stayed on my mouth for three weeks!”
“They didn’t serve you berries at the castle?” he asked her, chuckling.
She shook her head. “Yes, they did of course… but they’re not the same as grabbing them right off of the bush. My wet nurse used to take me on walks on a forest trail and she had me far too spoiled on exercise and fresh air for my parents’ tastes.” She twisted her mouth slightly as if remembering something distasteful. “After that they gave me a tutor so strict I was lucky to be allowed to look out the windows until my father died.”
The thought of her as a little girl who just wanted to go out and play, to be anything other than a princess, was an image that was quickly melting his heart.
“I’m glad I got this time with you,” Susanna said to him sleepily.
“Me as well, sweeting,” he told her, looking up at the ceiling as the closest lantern flickered its last, and died, leaving them both in darkness. He reached over and pulled a couple of large furs over their bodies, taking care to make sure it covered all of her, including her feet.
“I’m glad it was you who took my castle,” she told him dreamily.
He petted her until he heard her breathing heavily against him, sleeping. Every now and then, he felt the tickling of her eyelashes as her eyes moved behind closed lids. He envied that she could sleep so well despite everything that rested on her shoulders.
He feared she was right about Vienna. He was supposed to send her off to the emperor, and he didn’t know how he could possibly do that. He would never feel whole again, that he knew. Once she was gone, he would just be left empty, with a memory of what it was like to be full. He’d go through the rest of his days feeling like his heart was dying of hunger.
It was impossible to imagine a worse torture than that. But how could one deny an emperor and live to tell about it?
