“You were going to find some way to put all of this on me, that’s why you pulled me in. You were going to sink me to save your own ass. It’s not every day I get to watch karmaplay out, and man, it’s fucking fabulous.”
Turning away from him, I walk to the little bar next to the small kitchen. I pull out a mini bottle of top shelf vodka and down it, the alcohol burning my throat.
“You were supposed to soften them up, get them to be more agreeable.” He spits behind me.
“Get out.” I lean against the little mini-bar with my back to him and let my head hang. I shouldn’t be surprised by the lengths men like my father and Harris will go to get what they want, but somehow they keep managing to lift that bar.
To use me.
And I fucking let them every time.
“Elly, if you don’t help me, I will bring you down with me.” The statement is thrown at me like a spear.
Keeping my head down, I point to the door. “Get. Out!”
He’s quiet behind me for several moments before I hear his feet moving across the carpet. As the door shuts, the quiet of the room swallows me and I see Gray’s face, the hurt in his eyes. I slowly sit down on the couch and cup my hand over my mouth.
He thinks I betrayed him. He’ll never forgive me.
Tears are burning the backs of my eyes, and my heart is lodged in my throat. We were just talking about trying to make long distance work. He said he didn’t want to let me go.
He turned his back on me without even listening. Like I meant nothing.
I fucking knew better.
Replaying those words while seeing the look in his eyes in my head dissolves my resistance and the tears fall. Reminding myself I’ve only known him for a week should tell my head there is no reason to feel this way, but the gaping hole in my chest doesn’t care.
It hurts.
Trying to soften some of the jagged edges of the pain that’s slicing through my chest, I wonder if I deserve this. I went to his home thinking I could persuade them they would want to give up everything they know. I was arrogant and selfish.
It looks like I’m getting my own dose of karma.
I let my head fall into my hands. His smokey scent dances around my face and I dip my nose into my shirt. I can still smell him on me and it makes the tears come faster.
The files! I lift my head and look around the floor where I dropped my laptop.
He came to my room to get copies of the files.
My eyes scan the area where I dropped my stuff, but I don’t see them.
Fucking Harris.
CHAPTER THIRTY
GRAY
PUTTING THEtruck in reverse, I back up to Marley’s stable next to the door. On the way home, I stopped at the feed store. We don’t really need more, but I needed to do something normal to help clear my head.
After I left the hotel earlier today, I could still smell Elly’s scent hanging in the air, so I rolled the windows down to let the freezing cold air whip around the cab of the truck. Something about the cold sting of the freezing wind while I drove down the highway was satisfying, punishing even, as I thought about what a fucking chump I’ve been.
As I drove through town on my way home, I noticed the electric is back on and the stores have their overhead lights and electric signs in the windows turned on. Seeing the everyday mundane helped to soothe not only my anger, but also the ache that keeps burning in my chest.
Slamming the door with a little more force than necessary, I walk around my rig and lower the tailgate as Marley walks out of her stable.
“Hey. I didn’t know you were going to stop at the store.” Even with the sun out, I can still see her breath in front of her face. But she’s smiling and seeing her smile always lifts my spirits. Fourteen years ago, I watched a stranger who used to be my sister disappear into her head daily after the attack. That happened for two years. I’ll celebrate every smile I get.
She turns and waves her gloved hand toward the stable. “The electric came back on, but I left the generator running in case you need to do anything to the heat lamps before its turned off.”
