“I love you,” I tell him. It feels too raw as if I’m admitting a secret… as if I’m telling the truth. He pulls back, smiling down at me softly.
“That was sort of shit, you’ll need to work on it.” He picks his cup back up and chugs the rest. I stand there, absolutely confused by this conversation's effect on my emotions.
“There’s another issue,” he says, setting the glass down.
“Please,” I groan. “I can’t handle a single other issue.” He looks away and goes serious.
“Do you know how long your family will be here?”
“Through Christmas. A week, probably. She refused to tell me when they were getting in. Probably as early as tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” he sighs. He crosses his arms, and pale eyes settle on me. “One of two things can happen tonight.”
“Oh?” My voice breaks. I know where this is going. I pinch and pull at my turtleneck.
“I want to kill.”
“Right,” I say quickly.
“Ireallywant to kill.”
“Soren,” I sigh. “Not right now.”
“Not ever again?” He asks with a cold voice. The tone is off-putting. He thinks I’m trying to stop him for good, and he doesn’t like that.
“Just… you need to hold off.”
“I need this before your family gets here. I’ll be good while they’re here.” This is not what I needed. Hiding a fake marriage, hiding bodies, and trying to control Soren’s need to kill while hosting my whole family?
“I’m here for you to use,” I say, turning away from him. I stare at the backsplash and try to think about things like Christmas dinner and buying gifts. But it's impossible, especially with his silence filling the air. I turn back around to face him, trying to put on an air of professionalism. I’m just talking to my patient, that’s all.
Soren’s looking out the windows at the valley. Continuing to push down his desire to kill is risky. I could be making it worse.The pressure is likely growing, and it might affect his future actions. I could be creating a more brutal and chaotic killer.
His pale eyes slid back to me.
“Okay,” he finally agrees. There’s a seriousness that sometimes comes over Soren that is nerve-wracking. It’s startling compared to the normally carefree man.
But like always, it slips away back under the surface as charming Soren comes back. He smiles nefariously at me, and it sends goosebumps up my arms.
“But if you really want to help me make it through this visit, then you’ll need to bear with some force.” My throat feels like it's closing up as he talks about it casually.
“You, not me,” I remind him.
“Yes, I get that now.” He chuckles as if it's funny he accidentally ate me out. I shoot him an angry look.
“You’re absolutely adorable when you're pissed off at me. Ahh, Sophie, what would I do without you?”
“Probably wouldn’t even be killing people.”
“Maybe not, but I do feel better than ever, so don’t feel too bad about letting loose a serial killer into the world.”
“Ah yes, the serial killer's improved depression will help me sleep well at night.” That reminds me of the fact that I moved all my things into his room today, anticipating my family coming. I’ll be sleeping next to him for the next week once they get here.
“Anything else I need to know before tonight. Other than it’syourmouth that needs to do the work.”
“I…” I push past the immense flustered state this puts me in. “Still no sex.”
“Of course,” he says quickly. He grabs a banana from the counter, peeling it. I watch him as I keep thinking.
