It’s all fake, I hear my ex say.
“You can’t come,” I say, all the warmth gone from my voice. Her eyes widen, and she draws back. “Why don’t you go to work?”
“I’ve closed the office through the holidays and sent all my clients to someone else. Did I… offend you?” She asks tentatively. She’s staring at me in that hungry way she does when she’s found something particularly interesting about me. I eat those looks up, but god, I need some space right now.
“You closed your practice?” I ask.
“I decided the night before last.” After we got back from the killing turned blowjob. She clears her throat, aware I know exactly what night she’s talking about. “Called the next morning to set it all up.” I look into her eyes, trying to figure out why that night drove her to that decision. She looks away, a blush creeping along her freckles again.
“What goes through your mind when you stare like that?” She asks.
“I want to know what you’re thinking.”
“About what?” She asks.
“You sure?” I flash her a smile.
“Yes.”
“Why did you close your office after giving me a blowjob?” I ask. Her eyes widen.
“Oh… Well, I’m fully committed to this. I can’t half-ass my way through it, being wishy-washy.” It sounds like she’s repeating something she’s told herself multiple times. My eyes narrow.
“Do you want to be here?” I ask. She looks me in the eye.
“This is exactly where I want to be. I want to study you for as long as possible.” I look away, afraid she’ll see the absolute joy her words cause.
“I’m glad you’ve finally come around,” I say, shooting her a smile. I can’t help it. Her words feel like a salve on a wound I’ve been licking the past year. Therapy really was the best decision I could have made.
Which means I really can’t fuck this up. My eyes briefly scan her body, then flick away before I turn to leave.
“You can shadow me at work,” I say. She starts to reach for her coat. “Just not today.” I leave before she can ask why.
It’s because I want to fuck you, but I’m not allowed.
9
SOPHIE
Soren rushes off to work. Of course, he had to leave the exact moment I felt ready to bring up the elephant in the room. Working up the courage to tell your serial killer you’ll suck him off is surprisingly difficult.
Myserial killer. I like that. I spend the rest of the day wondering if I should include blowing him in the book I’m writing or if that will ruin the authenticity of my conclusions.
By the time he comes back home, I can’t bring myself to start up the conversation again. I’ll try again tomorrow. He scarfs down the orange chicken I ordered for us both.
“You’re quiet,” he comments with a raised eyebrow.
“It’s hard to ask you questions while you eat,” I joke. To be honest, it’s nice just sitting with him. Is that odd? Enjoying the silent company of a serial killer? He doesn’t respond, and I look up to see him staring into the black windows at nothing. There’s tension in his body. Something is simmering.
After dinner, he stays in his room. I move around the house on edge, wondering what’s going through his mind. I start to think he’s gone to sleep, he’s been so quiet. But he emerges fromhis room an hour later. The printer in the office comes to life. Papers spit out as Soren gets his boots on.
“Well… I’m going out,” he says before I ask. “To kill someone if that wasn’t clear.”
“Soren,” I sigh. “It’s beenthreedays. It’s too rapid.”
“I’m just in that new hobby excitement phase.” He winks at me. “Why? You don’t want me to go?” He raises an eyebrow, and my face heats.
“The risk of getting captured goes up with every kill. You really want to increase your odds of capture this often?” I walk into the office to see what he’s printed out. Soren bolts up and runs at me. I gasp as he meets me at the printer. Suddenly, his body is pressing into my back as he grabs the papers before I can read anything.
