“Where the fuck am I?” I asked again, stomping towards the door. When I grabbed at the door, the show’s host reached out and slapped my hand like I was a kid reaching for a cookie before dinner was ready. I glared at him, giving him a further once over as my sluggish brain started to fire a little better.
His name was Lapis Lane. He’d been the show’s tv host since its conception and people absolutely fucking loved his annoying, over-the-top personality. I’d even loved it until I woke up to him slapping the shit out of me.
“You’re in the island’s underground base,” he said, cracking each one of his ring decorated fingers. I noticed the size of the rubies. “I sent a team to rescue you.”
“Rescue me?” I asked, my words dripping with cynicism.
“Look we both know you willingly fucked that monster,” he said, eyes rolling over my body in intense judgment.
“Okay,” I shrugged, reaching for the door again. He slapped my hand. I gritted my teeth and stomped towards him. He gave a little squawk as I backed him up against the metal wall and slammed my hands beside his face, glaring up at him. He was freakishly tall, six foot six. I wasn’t impressed.
“Get to your fucking point so I can leave,” I demanded. His eyes were bugging even more as he writhed against the wall, desperately avoiding touching any part of me. I could break this man in half.
“I fucking streamed it,” he finally hissed. “Live!”
“Oh shit,” I said with a chuckle. I moved away from him, rubbing my mouth as I delighted in the idea of every home tuned in to watch the first monster porn ever, starring my stretched pussy being pounded by Thracker’s throbbing green cocks. I laughed, I couldn’t help it.
“Ha ha ha,” Lapis punctuated sarcastically. “The producers are furious. The public is in outcry and good ole Lapis is on the chopping block. I’ll be ran out of the business unless I can fix this. And so, little miss porn star, werescued you. Okay?”
“What?” I asked with humor. I wasn’t understanding what was going on other than he massively fucked up and was angry at me for fucking an ogre.
“In my brilliance, I realized we just needed to move the plot along. Yes, we all saw you get fucked within an inch of your goddamned life. Yes, I did send the camera to watch. But we keep moving. We give the people something new to think and feel. Your rescue,” he said, twisting to me and throwing his arm out as if introducing me to a crowd. I blinked at him and we stood there in silence a few moments before he rolled his eyes and dropped his hand.
“Clearly you were attacked by the ogre. Pillaged, ransacked, fucked. Your village was conquered!”
“Okay, I get it.”
“And so the show shifted. Never before had the beasts been cruel enough to figuratively rip a person in half. It had all been literal up to that point!” I barked out a laugh. Maybe I still liked Lapis. Worse people had slapped me.
“I deemed that Monster Island was now Monster Island Rescue. That the sweetheart of the show, the single winner in the history of our airing, had to be saved.”
“Where the fuck is Thracker?” I asked. This was starting to bore me and make me angry. Them fucking up wasn’t my problem. No rule stated we couldn’t fuck the monsters.
“The ogre?” Lapis asked with a snort. “He killed two of my guys before the ten elephant tranqs finally took him down.” Anger roiled up in me.
“I’m ready to go now,” I said, grabbing the door and pulling it open. The metal hinges squealed as the heavy door swung inwards. I stomped into the hall with Lapis Lane hot on my heels.
“You can’t go. You need to sign the NDA about what happened here.”
“I’m not leaving the fucking island. I’m getting my ogre.” His hand struck out like a snake and wrapped around my forearm in a vice grip as he came to a halt. I stopped and looked down at the hand. He quickly let go but still got in my face.
“You aren’t going anywhere near that ogre again. Your monster fucking career is over. One and done,” he said. “A one-hit wonder. You get it?” I leaned in closer to him and he leaned back, suddenly wanting space.
“I get it,” I growled. Then I turned forward and kept stomping. Lapis quickly kept up with me.
“You aren’t acting like you get it. Hello? Anyone home?” He asked, flicking my skull. I swatted at his hand. “The ogre thing is done. You’re being shipped off the island and going on tour. My writers are already working on your script, your new personality, the emotional reactions you are required to display, how you wipe your ass, and every other aspect we think we can control.”
“Let me think about it,” I said. “Uh, no.”
“Listen, bitch—” This time I twisted around, grabbed his shoulders, and flung him at the wall. He screeched, his thin body smacking the concrete and his eyes widening at me in disbelief and horror.
“Don’t fucking call me that,” I growled, slamming my boot into the wall right between his legs. He screamed and reached for his cock and balls.
“Noted,” he wheezed. I dropped my foot and kept walking.
“But I’m serious. Your tryst with that ogre is done. Over, finito, wrapped up, sewn up, and tossed to the bottom of that fucking ocean out there.” I stopped walking and stared at him, crossing my arms. He kept talking. “You aren’t leaving this island until I’m sure you’re going to play the best role of your life. You’ll be rich, famous, and popular. You’ll be the shining star of the show next to me. Hell, you can be the fucking co-host for next season’s finale rewind. I’m offering you a spectacular opportunity so just fucking take it,” he hissed.
“The problem with that, Lapis, is that I don’t like people telling me what to do,” I said without humor.
