But my head was spinning too much and there was something wrong with my body—how white my skin was, how heavy my head felt, the claws on the tips of my fingers.
I gripped the edge of the massive glass, kicking my legs frantically and trying to get out. I couldn’t lift myself though. I was trapped in this deep glass of bubbling alcohol for everyone to watch flail and drown.
Panic bubbled up and I desperately kicked, gasping for breath as the sweet, frothy liquid choked me.
“Alice,” Shaheen’s deep voice penetrated my dismay. The spinning stopped for a moment as I focused on him. He stood at the top of the ladder with all-black eyes and antennae that looked like horns. His gold jewellery sparkled in the light and pulled my eyes across his dark, golden skin. His pierced nipples sparkled with the jewelled rings inside them. I was in awe as his long dark hair braided with gold framed his face.
Shaheen reached out and grabbed me, pulling me up from the liquid and into his arms. I was drenched head to toe as I clutched Shaheen’s open robe and held on for my life, afraid if I lost my grip I’d be drowning once again.
“You’re shivering,” he said. I looked into his eyes and saw hunger. He liked me shivering and clinging to him. I’d thought Caterpillar and Cheshire were so different but now I was wondering if they were exactly the same.
“I want to go. Please, I don’t like this party.” Something wrong was happening here. It pulsated in the mushrooms and danced in the light. It was the heavy weight on my head and the brush of fur on my cheek from long ears.
“It’s okay, Alice,” Shaheen murmured gently against my head, as he moved from the stage and onto the floor. He pushed past the beaded curtain into a dark hall.
“I’ll save you,” he said and relief flooded me. In his arms, I’d be fine. In his arms, he’d protect me. This was where I belonged, with Caterpillar. I’d always come back to him, over and over.
“You promise?” I asked. He looked at me again with that look of love. “Do you love me?” I was currently unable to stop my thoughts from coming out of my mouth it seemed.
“Does it make sense for me to love you so quickly?” He asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. He gave a sombre smile.
“It doesn’t make sense but I love you all the same,” he said. I swallowed thickly, feeling warmth travel up into my chest and spread out in my body. He loved me. He loved me. How could this be true? But I didn’t care about the how because I was elated.
I'd come here in the first place seeking Caterpillar. The need he inspired consumed me, broke me down until I couldn't go another day without touching him. I gave a giddy laugh of happinesses.
I wanted to sink into his bed and hear him groan about his love. Feel his eggs expand me as I held him closer. The way he touched me was like he knew me. Perhaps this was what soulmates were made of–a feeling as if you already knew each other. A hundred dreams of coming together before you ever even meet.
“How sweet," Cheshire scoffed. My eyes widened in shock.
“Leave her alone,” Shaheen said, raising his chin. He didn't show an ounce of surprise that Cheshire was here. Perhaps he had grown used to it or perhaps he could somehow see Cheshire even when he was invisible to everyone else.
“You’ve had your fun but she came to your Den for me.”
“But are you what she really needs, Shaheen? Promising to save her…” Cheshire broke off into a laugh. Two green eyes appeared in front of us. His smile appeared next, a tongue dragging across sharp teeth. Cheshire was a cat at the moment but as big as a man and only growing bigger, filling the hallway up. Shaheen was forced to go back into the party room with me still in his arms.
“Why is he doing this?” I asked, my voice shaking. Everything had seemed so pleasant right before the party. Cheshire had promised me anything and everything.
Shaheen let out a frustrated noise and looked down at me, pulling me tighter against him.
“I won’t let him make you sad, Alice.”
“Sad?” I didn’t know what he meant.
“I’m doing this because you need it, Alice.” Cheshire’s large voice came behind us, a threat threaded in his tone as there always was. I couldn’t breathe and it burned behind my ribcage. I felt like a small animal with a big beast right at her back. I knew it was time I became Cheshire’s prey, the thing he’d play with until it was dead.
“Stop this,” Shaheen growled with a snap of authority. I gasped in shock. I’d never heard anyone take that tone with Cheshire. The cat bent down in Shaheen’s face, his hot breath spilling over my body as I shivered.
“Don’t pretend you’re trying to help her,” Cheshire hissed, an oversized whisker touching my leg. Fear sloshed around inside me, trying to drown me. Large cat eyes moved from Shaheen to me. The pupils dilated and the smile widened.
I cried out, pushing out of Shaheen’s arms even as he tried to clutch me. He reached out but I was too scared to stay put. The urge to run was in my blood and lungs, urging me to flee.
“Alice!” Shaheen called. Everything was spinning and there was this object in my throat making it hard to breathe. An anxious sensation was burning through my stomach. Something bad was going to happen. Something I didn’t want. I didn’t want to know what it was. I just wanted to get away and hide from it.
“Run, my little bunny,” Cheshire roared over the crowd. The cries of joy turned to terror as the monstrous-sized cat walked through the room with vicious teeth and a predatory gleam. One humongous paw came down on top of a man and I heard the sound of splintering bones but Cheshire paid the ordeal no mind.
Cheshire's bloated shadow blocked out all the lights and mushrooms above us. I looked behind me and immediately tripped and fell. It felt like I landed in grass but it was just the floor beneath me. However, my hands and legs were coated in blood as blue as Cheshire’s stripes as if I had been ripped open. I couldn’t tell if it was real or not.
