“Everything is just so… “ she failed to find the word.
“Perfect,” I signed and she laughed.
“Yes, perfect.” Quietly we snuck through the bedroom and went downstairs, too giddy to sleep. The soft beat of drums rumbled from below as we tore through the pantry and flopped on the leather sectional.
“Is Makwa happy?” I signed. She laughed.
“He was so excited he nearly made a fool of himself—his thought, not mine. He wanted to kiss everyone.”
“Kiss?” I signed in shock. I couldn't imaginehimbeing so romantic.
“Well, not kiss,” she said, her face turning red. “More like hold everyone down with his tentacles, laughing maniacally as he stripped us down and fucked us all.”
A laugh burst from my mouth at the visual.
“I heard that,” a disembodied voice said from the walls, making us both laugh harder.
23
It was our first show as Nixie, I was buzzing. We decided to retire the name Nix in homage to the others. I could almost feel Matthias and the others with us tonight and it felt right to be back up on the stage. My arms grew tired as the show went on, Caspian strutting across stage as fans screamed in a delirium for him. Arms stretched out, eyes glazed. He ignored them, prowling the stage with flashing eyes, looking like a tiger in a cage.
It was a shame Ava couldn’t come but she was traveling with her aunt. She and Makwa were going to a haunted location to film and clear out ghosts. Mothman was at the house still, enjoying his first time alone in nearly two years.
Caspian was singing an old song, the same one he’d been singing the last time we were on stage. An ode to Ava, begging her to fuck him. It was hilarious thinking how he pinned for her for so long. The new songs were about her too. Not all of them though. His song about finding Mothman annoying was an internet favorite.
I looked out at the crowd, lights flashed in my face, my heart picked up speed, pumping fast. The smell of sweat and adrenaline swarmed me.
I felt hungry. I gripped my sticks and tried to play through it. I thought of Ava, closing my eyes as I swallowed urges back down. I imagined her face, the amazing curves of her body, holding each other close as we talked about everything, and I even thought back to fucking her mouth while she was in that cage. I often revisited that memory, having removed all the negativity and turning it into pure masturbation fodder. It was almost therapeutic.
These moments happened. Sometimes they came on so strong and sudden I was positive I’d need to rip into flesh. Caspian spun around when I suddenly stopped playing. He kept singing as he swaggered closer. He went behind my drums and pressed his hand to my shoulder, digging in his nails until they turned to talons and bit into my skin.
A rough groan of pain and pleasure slid from my mouth and then I shook off the beast brushing under my skin. I lifted my arms and began smashing on the drums again as Caspian trailed back to the front of the stage.
After the show we took the new guys out for drinks. We weren’t all that close to them. I was gun-shy and Caspian just didn’t want to. Despite allowing Mothman, Makwa, and me in his little circle he was still a complete ass to everyone else—really, he was frequently an ass to us too. Only Ava got the full dream boyfriend experience.
The other guys in the band had tripped over themselves trying to impress him until they quickly realized he was a sadistic psychopath. Admittedly, I had something to do with that epiphany. I’d instigated a fight that sent us sparring violently in front of them. I hadn’t really enjoyed the way they’d looked at him and I knew he didn’t enjoy it either.
Caspian and I got slightly drunk at the bar. He was laughing and smiling, a rare sight. I laughed with him because it was always contagious.
I took him back to my hotel room and spread him out on my bed. His hair fanned out and he was gorgeous. I tore his shirt from him, displaying all his tan, muscled skin. Tattoos crawled over his arms and on his chest.
I leaned on top of him and flicked my tongue over his nipple. He groaned, his back stretching out.
“What are you doing?” He asked. I pulled back off the bed and looked down at him.
“Fuck, you're so hot,” I said, looking at the long stretch of his upper body, muscled lines engraved over every part of him. I unbuckled his studded belt and flicked his pants’ button open. His hands grabbed my wrists.
“Brandon,” he said.
“Shh,” I said, tugging his pants down. I leaned in, sucking him into my mouth. He groaned, his body jerking in shock as if he’d never had head before. I took him to the back of my throat, wanting to do it better than I ever had before just to feel his reactions.
His hands twisted in my hair, pulling it hard. This was as far as we ever got before but I wanted farther.
“Stop,” he panted. That wasn't the right word to actually get me to stop and he knew it. We'd been working towards this for too long and watching him tonight, strutting across the stage had done me in. Him shirtless, sweat cascading over his body and pooling on the dimples at his lower back.
He hardened in my mouth and I popped off.
“There we go,” I said and flattened my tongue, licking a line up his shaft, making his cock jerk. I fisted the base and swirled my tongue around his head, working it over his foreskin and pulling it down.
