I’d bit her. Terror shot through me.
My head was clearer now than it had been in days and I could see with crystal clarity the sickness in me growing. The need to eat would overcome me and I’d lose myself to it. Even with a steady diet of animal flesh, I’d still look at them with hungry eyes.EspeciallyAva. There was something special about her.
I couldn’t stay here. I would hurt her soon. I would hurt all of them.
“Brandon?” Ava asked, looking concerned. I sat there in shock for a moment.
“You look better,” she said in confusion. Mothman’s head tilted to the side and Caspian looked me over in bewilderment.
“I can’t stay. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I said, shoving myself back into my pants as I scrambled up. I didn’t feel weak anymore and the hunger was only a small voice in the back of my head.
Don’t think too hard, I told myself.Just leave before the hunger comes back. Leave before it makes you do something unforgivable. Before it makes you hurt Ava.
“You can’t leave,” Caspian snapped. I looked behind me at the large window above the bed, scoping out the easy escape. It had been there the whole time. I’d ignored the potential because I didn’t want to leave them.
Now I had to take that chance because it was only a matter of time before I’d hurt them. I looked at Ava and warmth grew in my chest. I felt the need to go to her, comfort her, and be near her. I wanted to pull the damn cage through the window with me.
Instead, I stumbled over to the bed.
“I’m sorry,” I told her one last time, then turned around and braced myself, leaning my head down instinctually so the tough forehead of the skull would buck the glass. I rammed the sheet of glass and it shattered, scratching against my arms as I fell through.
“Brandon!” Ava yelled in concern while Caspian spat my name like a curse. I lifted my head, looked towards the mountains, and ran.
2
Brandon was just… gone.
“What just happened?” I asked, looking at the broken window. I was reeling. It wasn’t only that he had head-dived through a window. It was also that he hadchangedafter I gave him head. My face heated as I remembered that show we had just given and I looked over at Cas and Pollux.
“Did you see him? He got bigger,” I said, needing to confirm it wasn’t just my imagination. It had all happened so fast but I could see it clear as day. He’d been tall, filled out. Laughter rolled in my head.
“Cocks get bigger when excited,” Makwa joked.
“Shut up,” I snapped, shoving him down in my head. He went willingly in a cascading trail of laughter. Caspian and Mothman’s eyes slid to me in concern. “Sorry,Makwa,” I explained, waving my hand. They both looked uneasy about me bringing him up. Makwa continued to be a sore spot ever since the truth of his existence had been revealed.
“I saw, Brandon,” Caspian finally responded. “He was skin and bones and then after you… '' Caspian slid his eyes to me, looking me over before they slid away again. Sometimes it was impossible to tell what Caspian was thinking. After a lifetime of hiding, I supposed he had a knack for it. Pollux couldn’t talk but sometimes I found it easier to know how he felt about something from body language alone.
“Afterwards, Brandon filled out again,” Caspian finished, confirming it. Ever since Ben had changed him, Brandon’s body rapidly changed weight. The only time he looked like himself was right after a heaping pile of meat. In between meals he’d get so thin it was concerning. Sometimes I feared he was one missed meal away from starvation, his bones sharp angles held by taut skin.
I touched my fingers to my swollen lips and remembered the rough way he thrust into my mouth, the rasped growl coming from the animal skull above my head, the taste of his release in my mouth as he bit down hard on my fingers. I rubbed the broken skin his teeth had left. My panties were wet, my nipples still obvious through the dress material. I’d loved the way he didn’t balk at putting on a show. I’d felt thrilled when he grabbed my neck and made sure I went nowhere as he thrust in my mouth through the cage.
Putting on a show had been thrilling. I had felt Pollux and Caspian’s eyes rake over me and heard their breaths catch in their throats. Neither one of them had looked away for even a second. For a moment, it felt like everything was great and I’d indulged that feeling for as long as it lasted.
This was the first time Brandon and I had done anything. My eyes started to water as my thoughts drifted back to the night he was changed. The brutal carnage, the surety of his absolute pain. I wiped my eyes and swallowed the tears down.
Now wasn’t the time to let myself crack. Even when my body was sore and tired. Even when I was still trying to figure out how to share a body with a ghost and what sort of complicated and mixed up relationship was developing between us.
Two of my lovers were in cages and the other was running amok—a big bad wolf in the cold, dark woods. His mind was fevered and his body ravaged in some unknown way. Crying and panicking wouldn’t help.
I wasn’t the same person I was before. At first, I thought it had been Makwa but now I realized it was the cave. It was facing those ghosts, pushing past them, and saving myself. I had been forced to conquer fear and panic. I’d faced my biggest enemy and prevailed, discovering I did have power. I just had to have the strength to reach out and take hold of it. My mother would be proud.
Makwa had been whispering similar sentiments since we joined. That it was me in charge, me with the power. I believed him now and it was time to embrace my higher self.
I wouldn’t cry. I’d try to stay calm, even if sometimes I still felt like a little girl shivering in my bed, ghosts murmuring in my ears.
I took a deep breath and swallowed, grounding myself.
“He wasn’t just filled out, he was bigger,” I said, thinking back. “He almost looked as tall as you, Cas.” Which was saying something when Brandon wassupposedto be half a foot shorter.
