I wasn’t ready to hear about what secret he might have, but that didn’t mean I had to push him away. I didn’twantto push him away. I wanted him teasing me, holding me, and admitting he liked me again.
When I sat beside him he looked over but didn’t reach out to twist his fingers with mine, didn’t squeeze my thigh. He looked tentative and hopeful, waiting for me to make the first move. I reached out and threaded our fingers together.
“I’m sorry,” I said. He looked confused.
“Why would you be sorry?”
“I pushed you away yesterday after we…” I trailed off and pressed my thighs together. “It was wrong.” He sighed, unclasping our hands and wrapping his arm around me, pulling me into his body. His other hand came up and traced my jaw while his eyes roamed my face.
“You were scared.” I opened my mouth to deny it but the words didn’t come. Even now, I was still scared of the entire truth. It’s why I was hiding from it.
“I’m not scared ofyouthough. I’m just not ready for the truth,” I said. He had been watching his bandmates untangle cords and connect all the equipment, but while I talked he slowly turned his eyes on me. They flashed for a moment, like a lens capturing light and shooting it back out.
“I know you wouldn’t hurt me,” I mumbled as he continued to stare at me. A smirk spread over his face, taking my breath away.
“But I do want to hurt you,” he whispered and my heart flipped in my chest.
“That’s different.” I turned away in embarrassment because I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Caspian and I had sex. It felt surreal. The strange details of it didn’t help.
Caspian grabbed my jaw and pressed his mouth to mine. Sharp teeth clamped on my bottom lip, proving his point of wanting to hurt me. I felt him press his fingers into the bite mark on my neck too, making it throb. It reminded me of the pleasure that accompanied his pain. Of the intense euphoria that had overcome me. I wanted it again.
I gasped and I felt him shudder against me in delight from my reaction.
“Are you still sore inside?” He asked, dragging his tongue over my lip, soothing the bite he’d just abused it with. I squirmed, feeling a slight ache deep inside me.
“A little.” Our bodies pressed tightly together as he kissed me again, groaning as he held me to him. The sudden sound of music blasted from the speakers around camp. I heard Matthias start playing his electric guitar while Grady complained he was too drunk to go grab his keyboard.
Caspian ignored it all. His mouth consumed mine, his body seeming to heat under my touch, his hands sliding all over me. The ache deep inside teased me, making me remember the feel of his body on mine, in mine.
I pulled back. His face tried to follow, the flash of sharp teeth startling me. My eyes widened but I swallowed and pretended I hadn’t seen anything. I pressed a hand to his chest, holding him back.
“How do you really feel about me?” I asked. He’d only admitted to having a crush for a while but I knew there was more going on. He had my name tattooed on his hip, my face on his chest. Matthias said he’d quit the band for me.
Also, it seemed Caspian might be…something. Something that felt a strange draw to me. Normally I was terrified by the idea of the supernatural wanting me. I didn’t feel terrified by the idea of Caspian wanting me. However, it made me wonder how he felt about me. If it was just some strange fascination that was only skin deep.
“I don’t know how to tell you,” he said, his eyebrows furrowing.
“I want to know though.” He shook his head at my comment.
“Iwantto tell you but I don’t know how to describe how much I love you.”
“You love me?” I asked with a strangled voice.
“From the moment I saw you.” His eyes pleaded for me to understand. He grabbed my hand, pressing it to his chest. His heart was beating so fast. “Ava, you mean everything to me.”
“Caspian, let’s play,” Matthias called out to him but Caspian acted as if he hadn’t heard it, his eyes still on mine, his hand still pressing mine to his chest.He loved me. I was speechless, struck dumb by his words. He seemed to be waiting for me to say something back but I had no idea what to say.
I felt shocked that this beautiful man, this rock star, was looking at me as if I’d hung the moon and stars. As if there was nothing else in the world but me. Things started to fall in place. I understood finally that it wasn’t his personality that had made him treat me with such attention and warmth. It was his love.
“Come on,” Brandon griped. As I continued to say nothing, Caspian just smiled sadly, dragging his thumb over my lip before getting up and walking to his bandmates.
What just happened? What was that sad smile for?
Brandon clicked on his laptop and one of their songs began playing, but only with the drums and keyboard. Matthias and the bass player started to play their parts live. I still had no idea what the bass player's name was. He was exceptionally quiet and I wasn’t sure I ever heard him say more than “yeah” and “nah”.
Caspian walked over, grabbed a mic that Brandon held out to him, and then Caspian sang.
Goosebumps popped up on my arms. There was something about his voice and I wasn't the only one affected. We all were, everyone’s eyes slowly going to him and sticking like fly’s descending to a sticky, sweet trap.
