“He’s an adult, Alex.If he wants to dosomething stupid, that’s his call.”Lucas didn’t mention the wayhis body was drawn to Mark’s like they were both magnetized.
“And you?It’s your call if you want to dosomething stupid too?”Alex whirled now.“Because it’sstupid, Lucas!You’re going to get hurt!He’s a good guy andeverything, but he’s a priest, and he’s the brother of the guy youkilled, and…it can’t last, Lucas.You’re going to get hurt.”
Lucas just nodded.“Yeah.I know.”He forcedhimself to smile.“And when I do, I’m going to need some help frommy friends.Which is going to be pretty much you, ’cause I haven’tgot any others.”
Alex frowned at him, then slowly nodded.“Yeah.Okay.When it goes to hell and you need a friend, you’ve gotone.But…” He stepped closer, chores forgotten again.“Elise talkedto me about it.She said you’re not a pet.She said you’re one ofthe wild animals and it’s our job to help you get better and thenget you back out where you belong.I know she’s right.And if yougo out and get hurt again, then we’ll help you get better again.But, Lucas, don’t make me watch.I don’t like watching the animalswhen they leave here, and I don’t want to watch you, either.Ishouldn’t have to watch you falling in love with someone else.”
Lucas felt like he’d been kicked.Was thatwhat he’d been doing?“Shit,” he said softly.“Look, I’m not goinganywhere…all that animal stuff is nice and everything, but this ismy job, and I plan to keep it.But the rest of it…it’s beenhappening fast, Alex, and I guess I didn’t think it through.I’msorry.I won’t…I don’t quite know.I mean, I won’t fix his car outhere.I get that.But what else?”
“He only comes out here for you, you know.Hecan spout all that ‘finding sanctuary at the sanctuary’ all hewants, but he comes out because you’re here.Even Elise agrees, sodon’t go calling me paranoid.”
“You and Elise seriously talked about allthis?”Lucas wasn’t sure whether to be flattered or creepedout.
“She’s very perceptive,” Alex said loftily.“And she’s an excellent listener.She’s been very supportive.”
“Well, that’s great,” Lucas said.“Does shehave any ideas on the whole ‘no watching’ thing?”
“Like I said, she knows Father Mark is onlycoming out here to visit you.So I think she’d agree that if youand him are spending time together other places, he probablydoesn’t need to come out here anymore.”
Lucas swallowed hard.He looked forward toMark’s daily visits, and he was pretty sure the other man did findvalue just in being at the farm, totally separate from anyattraction to Lucas.“I don’t know if it’s fair to ask him not tocome any more at all,” Lucas said slowly.“Maybe I could just…wecould work separately, maybe.Or just be really careful about not…Idon’t know.Not sending out whatever signals you and Elise arepicking up on.”
“It’ll be kind of hard for you to not sendsignals when you don’t even know what they are,” Alex objected.
“Working separately, then,” Lucas said.“Orhe could just come out earlier in the day, when you’re still inschool.”
“Summer vacation starts in two weeks,” Alexwarned.
“Two weeks?Come on, Alex, you think this isstill going to be happening in two weeks?”
Alex looked surprised.“You don’t?I mean, Iwas serious about it being a bad idea, but you don’t think it’seven going to last two weeks?”
“I think it’s going to last until the firsttime someone from his real life gets a hint of it going on,” Lucassaid quietly.“He’s temporarily insane, but he’s not totallystupid.He’s not going to let it mess up anything reallyimportant.”
“You deserve better than that!”
“Nah.I deserve what I get.”He forcedhimself to smile.“So, on the plus side, this could all be takencare of before you have to worry about it much more.”
Alex stepped closer, his face serious.“I’msorry, Lucas.I mean, I’m not happy that you’re getting involvedwith someone else, but I don’t want to see you get hurt.Andhonestly, I’m a bit pissed at him, but I like Father Mark too.Idon’t want to see him get hurt either.”
Lucas tried to sound casual as he said, “Notmuch to be done about it, I don’t think.”He wacked Alex’s broomwith his own.“Now get sweeping.I want this floor clean enough toeat off of!Then we can go play with Rascal for a bit.She’ll cheerus up.”
That was when Elise appeared in the barndoorway.“Lucas,” she said.“There you are.There was a phone callfrom someone at the hospital.Apparently a friend of yours was inan accident and he’s asking for you.It wasn’t clear how seriousthe injuries are.”
Lucas gripped his broom a little moretightly.He didn’t have that many friends… “Who?”he managed toask.
Elise dug a scrap of paper out from herpocket.“Sean Gage.A car accident, it sounds like.”
“Shit.”If Sean was asking for Lucas…what didthat mean?If he was awake enough to ask, surely he was okay.Butthen why would he want Lucas dragged into an environment with alltheir mutual acquaintances, the same ones Lucas had permanentlyalienated a couple nights ago?It flashed in his mind that it wassome sort of trap, but he dismissed the idea almost as quickly asit had occurred to him.The hospital was a busy, safe place.Ifhe’d been asked to meet Sean in a back alley somewhere, he’dsuspect he was about to get into trouble.But not at thehospital.
He checked his watch.It was mid-morning.Alex was only there because it was the weekend and he had noschool.So Lucas still had a lot of work to do, and it was stillpart of his paid time, not his volunteer hours.He shouldn’t leavethe farm, but if Sean had asked for him…
“Go,” Alex said.“Play with Rascal, mid-dayfeed, pick out the pens, afternoon feed—I’ve got it covered.Noproblem.”
“You’re sure?”he asked Alex.Then he turnedto Elise.“I can make up the hours,” he said quickly.“Or you candock my pay?”
“Give me a break, Lucas.I owe you so manyhours you could take the next year off and still come out ahead.”She waved her arm in the general direction of Lucas’s car.“Go.Take care of it.”
So Lucas went.He tried to control histhoughts as he drove into town, but it wasn’t much use.He couldn’tbanish the memories of young Sean, his eyes dancing with whatevermischief he was trying to drag Lucas into.Or teenage Sean,convincing his mother to take Lucas in because he knew Lucas hadnowhere else to go.They’d grown up together, and Sean had alwaysbeen there for Lucas, in his own way.Now Sean was hurt, and Lucascould only hope that there’d be something for him to do, some wayfor him to help.
