“We don’t have to be.There’s another wagonin the back, and two more out in the field.We’ve been going slowbecause I thought I’d be doing it mostly myself, so there’s notmuch more baled.But there’s more cut and dried that I could bale,and I could check the weather and maybe cut again tonight.If thatbreeze keeps up, and the heat?It’ll only be a couple days to getit dry…” He caught himself.“Sorry.You don’t want to do this everyday.It’s a crappy job.But, yeah, if you want to help me with thatwagon in the back…”
“I can help you with more than that,” thepriest said firmly.“You were right.This is just what Ineeded.”
“Wait and see if you still feel that waytomorrow,” Lucas said.“You’re going to be sore.This works musclesyou aren’t used to using.There’s this one spot right between yourshoulder blades…” But Lucas didn’t think he should keep talkingabout that.It wasn’t right to be thinking about the priest’sshoulders, or his back, or how the sweat was sticking his shirt tohis skin and probably trickling lower, working past his belt anddown into… “Okay.Yeah.I’ll go get the tractor and pull this wagonout, and then we can get going on that second load.Alex isprobably already here, doing the easy chores down in the barn.I’llsee if I can get him up to help with this.”
It wasn’t that they needed the assistance,but Lucas was suddenly back to feeling shy around the priest.Notbecause of the past, although that was certainly never too far fromhis mind, but because of the present.The priest was…well, despitehis present appearance, the best word Lucas could think of was“clean”.He hadn’t been soiled by the world the way Lucas had,hadn’t been weak enough to let himself be dragged into the mud andfilth.He was clean and Lucas had no right to even think about himin any way that might sully him.
On his way down to the barn, he stopped atthe hose and turned it on, letting it run to cool down.“Alex,” heyelled.“You here?”
The boy’s head popped out from the feed roomdoor.“Hi.I’m measuring up the evening feeds.”
“Yeah?That’s about a ten minute job, right?So you’ll be up to help us in the loft soon?”
“Father Mark’s helping you?”Alex’sexpression was strange.
“Yeah.He’s doing your job, and doing itpretty well.But you should be helping too.”
“Well, if he’s so great at it…”
“What are you being pissy about?”It wasn’tjust Alex’s usual good-natured-laziness—this was somethingdifferent.
The kid said, “He’s spending a lot of timeout here lately, isn’t he?”
“Yeah, I guess he is.Is there a problem withthat?”
“He’s checking in on me?Is that it?Makingsure I’m okay?Because I can’t help noticing that he’s usually herea good while before I show up, and then he’s usually spending mostof his time with you, not me.”
“It’s not all about you, Alex.”Lucas steppeda little closer and looked back over his shoulder to make sure thepriest couldn’t hear.“Except for it is, a little bit.Because he’staking serious heat for getting involved with you, for helping youout after Father Terry told him to back off.He hasn’t given me alot of details, but they’re not happy with him, Alex.The church,or whoever.And your dad is still after him too.It’s not yourfault or anything, but I think you could cut him a little slack.He’s not out here checking on you, he’s out here looking for alittle peace.Is that so hard to understand?”
“A little peace, or a little piece of ass?”Alex raised his eyebrow and waited for Lucas to catch up.
“Oh, come on!”Lucas snorted after a momentof stunned silence.“You really think… He’s about twenty miles outof my league, Alex!Like, he’s not even…” Lucas made vague gestureswith his hands trying to express how far apart he and the priestwere.“All that stuff I said about you, about you and me beingimpossible?It’s the same for me and him, except for about twice asfar apart and he’s an adult and smart enough to realize it.”Heshook his head.“You’re crazy.”
“And you’re naïve.”Alex stepped back towardthe feed room.
“So come up and chaperone,” Lucas said,trying to keep his expression serious.“Father Mark can spend timewith you, I can spend time with you—everyone’s happy.”
“You go on ahead,” Alex said.Then he addedwith a sneer, “Are you planning on doing your cool-down trick withthe hose?Make sure you don’t just get your head wet.He’s beenhaving such a hard time lately, he deserves a bit of a treat,doesn’t he?Give yourself the full wash-down.You can win the farmwet T-shirt contest any day, right?”
The longer this went on, the less funny itwas.“Get over it, Alex.”
“Yeah.”Alex’s expression wasn’t surlyanymore.Now it was sad.“I really wish I could.”With that, heturned and disappeared into the feed room.
Lucas thought about following him, but he hadno idea what to say.And maybe this was for the best, in a weirdway.The kid might be completely wrong about the priest, but ifbeing jealous of that helped him get over his crush, maybe it wouldbe good.Alex could stop mooning over Lucas and find someone hisown age, someone else pure and sweet and ready to take on theworld.And the priest would, if there was any justice in the world,soon be back to his regular life.
And Lucas?He’d be left behind.
Which was how it should be, he remindedhimself.He bent over and let the cool hose water run over the backof his neck and up through his hair.When he’d been released fromprison, they’d made it clear that he was still serving out hissentence, he was just doing it in a different environment.So Lucaswould be left behind, and he’d do his time.And when that wasover?
He shook his head, the cool water sprayingover his shoulders and down onto the grass.It would never be over.He’d done what he’d done, and there was no time machine to make itbetter.But he’d at least have the decency to make sure he wasn’tdragging anyone else down with him.
ChapterThirty
Mark woke up the next morning, shifted inbed, and groaned.Lucas hadn’t been lying about the effects of theexercise.Mark stretched a little and realized that Lucas had evenidentified the exact area that would be giving him the mosttrouble—the muscles between his shoulder blades were so tight hefelt like his arms were being drawn back and his chest pushedout.
He rolled over, groaned his way to a sittingposition, and recognized the shift in his thinking.Lucas.NotLucas Cain, formal and distant and reminiscent of the newspaperarticles from years early.
“Lucas,” Mark said out loud.He knew he’dnever called the man by name, not to his face, so this might be thefirst time he’d ever said the first name without the last.“Lucas,”he tried again.“Luke.”But no, that was Alex’s name for him.
