“You’d be taking a chance.”It was stupid topretend otherwise.“If something happened.If things went bad.You’d take a lot of heat for recommending me for the job, knowingwhat you do about me.”
“In case ‘something happened’?”FatherGroban’s gaze wasn’t hostile or even angry, but it was relentless.“No.Don’t express it that way, as if a bad result would be out ofyour control.And don’t beat around the bush.If you end up beingno good at taking care of orphaned animals, there’s not going to beany heat on me.The only way this is a problem for me is if youcommit a crime.Violence would be the worst, obviously, but eventheft or vandalism would make me look bad.”His gaze stayed lockedon Lucas’s.“But I don’t think I need to worry about that.If I’mwrong…if the man I’ve gotten to know over the last couple monthsisn’t the real you…then yes, I’ll take some heat.But I don’t thinkthat’s going to happen.I’m willing to take a chance on you,Lucas.”
That was when the squirrel made herreappearance, skittering across the unmade bed like a novice iceskater on a very rough rink.She leaped from the pillow to thewindowsill, glanced outside, then made another jump to land on topof the dresser.She crouched there, one front paw raised in amanner that made her look inquisitive, and stared at thepriest.
He stared back.“Wouldn’t a squirrel behappier outside?”he asked cautiously.
“You’d think so,” Lucas agreed.It didn’tseem like he was going to be getting in trouble for this incident,so it was kind of interesting to try to figure out the animal’sbehavior.And easier to keep his emotions under control if heignored the rush of gratitude he’d felt at the priest’s expressionof trust.“I guess she’s okay with me because I’ve been feedingher, but she doesn’t seem too worried about you, either.”Thesquirrel had perched herself on her haunches, exposing herbare-nippled belly for inspection.“Maybe she’s just reallyconfident.Or crazy.”
“Do you handle her?”
“No.I just put the food out, and she comesto get it once I’m a few feet away.”
“You don’t want to touch her?She looks likeshe’d be soft.”
“It doesn’t seem right.”Probably a sign thatLucas was getting too comfortable in this place, if he was willingto try to explain something like this to the priest, but he triednot to worry about that.“She’s not a pet.Maybe I shouldn’t havefed her—maybe that’s messing with nature too much.But she’s a wildanimal, even if she doesn’t act like it.It’s not…it’s not my placeto treat her like a pet.”
The priest nodded slowly, then said, “I don’tunderstand that at all.But I bet Elise would.If you’reinterested, I can give her a call later today, and see if she’dagree to a meeting, at least.She’s got a fair income but notenough to pay you lavishly—you’d probably be looking at minimumwage.”
“For doing repairs and looking after hurtanimals?”Lucas gave himself the luxury of imagining it, at leastfor a moment, then pushed the dream firmly from his mind and triedto sound nonchalant.“Yeah, okay, if you think she’d be interested.It’d be nice to get some work, that’s for sure.”
“And your boss from roofing would still bewilling to give you a reference, at least for the time you wereworking there?”
“I guess.He said he would.”He’d actuallysaid that he’d be happy to have Lucas back.He’d said his sisterand his worthless nephew could both shut up if they didn’t like it,because Lucas was a hard worker and knew the job, and that was whata businessman needed.But Lucas really couldn’t face the idea ofspending every day in Sean’s glowering presence, so he’d refusedthe offer.He guessed it was technically breaking the terms of hisparole to be turning down work when he was supposed to be employed,but he’d thought back to the night outside the police station andfigured that violating his parole wasn’t going to be quite as easyas he’d originally feared.“Is there anything else I should do?Like, do you want a copy of my resume?”He made a face.“There’snot much on it.”
“I don’t think you’re going to get this jobwith a resume,” Father Groban said.“If she’s at all interested,she’ll want to meet you.When that happens, just be yourself,Lucas.That’s all she needs to see.”
That seemed unlikely, but Lucas noddedanyway.It wasn’t like he’d be any good at pretending to be someoneelse.Better to fail honestly than fail while trying to lie.“Okay.Thanks.”Father Groban turned away to yawn and Lucas realized howexhausted the other man looked.The guilt hit as hard as it alwaysdid.“You’re here because the other priest…Father Webber…because hecan’t be.Right?You’re doubling up on work because he can’t do hisjob so you have to do it for him.Because of me.I’m sorry.”
But Father Groban shook his head firmly.“Itraded jobs with Mark.He’s doing more work with our youth group,and with the choir.And he’s on a personal leave right now for awhole other reason, nothing to do with any of this.I’m notoverworked, or at least not because of you.Stop takingresponsibility for the whole world, Lucas.It’s a form of arroganceto think that everything revolves around you.”
The words were said with Father Groban’straditional kindness so they didn’t really sting, but they werecertainly something to think about.The squirrel looked up from thetoothpaste tube she’d been investigating and chattered at Lucas asif she agreed, then whirled and leaped for the window.A quickbackward glance as she paused on the sill, then a flip of her tailand she was gone.It was a good thing, Lucas told himself, andtried to ignore the ridiculous sense of disappointment.Thesquirrel shouldn’t be his pet, but maybe she could have been hisroommate.His friend.
“I need to go to bed,” the priest saidthrough another yawn.“But I’ll call Elise this afternoon, and letyou know what she says.”
“Thank you,” Lucas said.He used the words sooften that he was sure they just sounded like empty syllables tohis listeners, but Father Groban’s smile suggested that he realizedhow sincere Lucas was.
“Try to get a bit more sleep,” the priestsuggested.“And if you can keep wildlife out of your room, that’dprobably be a good thing.”
“Yes, sir,” Lucas said, and he started forthe window as the priest gently closed the door behind himself andheaded off for his own well-earned rest.
ChapterEighteen
The doctor’s voice was gentle enough to makeMark even more worried than he already had been.He gripped hismother’s hand a little more tightly, then tried to focus on whatthe doctor was saying.“We’re still monitoring the situation.Thetests show that it was a stroke, and it’s safe to say that therewill be some lasting effects, but I’m afraid it’s too early to bemore definite than that.”
“He’s getting worse,” Mark said, fighting tokeep his voice under control.“Yesterday his speech was slurred,but we could both tell what he was trying to say.Today, it’s…it’snot words at all!”
His mother nodded her agreement but didn’tspeak.Mark knew that she didn’t trust herself not to cry.
“Your father’s brain has suffered a seriousinjury and it’s swelling right now in reaction to that.We’ve givenhim some medication to help that go down, but the best tool willstill be time.I know it seems like we’re not doing much, but ourfocus right now is on preventing another stroke and making surethat any side effects of this one are managed.Once he’s stable,believe me, there are a lot of resources available in the hospitalto help him out.And there will be more for you to do as well.Iknow it’s frustrating, but for now spend time with him, keep himcalm, but spend time on yourselves too.You need to be well-restedso you’ll be ready for anything.”
Mark had heard the same advice given tocountless families over the years, and had repeated it many timeshimself.But he realized now, just as he had after Jimmy’s death,how difficult it was to follow the recommendations.It was as if heand his mother had received an injury just as surely as hisfather’s brain, and as if they too needed some time for theswelling to subside before they were ready to function again.“Whatshould we be telling people?Everyone’s calling, wanting to knowhow he is, what they can do.Isthere anything they cando?”
“If he has a few close friends who’d like tovisit him, that’d be fine.But the visits need to stay short.Tenor fifteen minutes, with time for him to rest in between.Otherwise, I hope you like casseroles, because I expect you’ll begetting lots of them.”
Just like when Jimmy had died.Mark knew hismother’s mind was wandering back to that time just as surely as hisown was.This wasn’t as bad.This was going to be okay.
“Thank you for your time, doctor.”Mark’smother had apparently gotten herself back under control.
