“Sean, no,” Lucas said.“I told you, there’snothing going on there.”
“You said you liked her.”Sean was gearingup.
“She’s a nice person.I like her.Idon’t…Sean, for fuck’s sake.”Sean knew this.How could Sean notknow?“I’m not interested in her.I don’t care if she goes homewith Dylan Hayes, or anybody else.It’s fine.”
Sean’s face was twisted into a snarl when heturned to Lucas and said, “Dylan Hayes doesn’t know that.He sawyou with her, and nowhe’swith her.He’s calling you out,man.”
“So he controls me, now?He wants me to dosomething, so I have to do it?Bullshit.”
Sean was right about one thing, at least.Dylan Hayeswascalling Lucas out.How else to explain theway he stared in their direction as he leaned down and pressed akiss to Mandi’s temple, his hand drifting from her shoulder to herchest…
And Sean was moving, charging across the bar,a soundtrack of cheers and screams driving him on.Dylan pushedMandi aside, moving to meet Sean head on, and Sean ducked to avoidhis fists, then surged forward to tackle him across two tables.
“Fuck yeah!”Mikey roared from somewherebehind Lucas, and then the crowd was in motion, most people pushingbackward out of the way, a few from each side rushing forward,looking for a match.
Lucas was pretty sure he was going to besick.He knew the code.He was supposed to push forward and joinin.If there was no one available from the other side he could tryto taunt a bystander into a scrap, or he could haul an enemy off afailing ally and finish the fight for his side.It would be only alittle less honorable to join in with a friend, turning a fairfight into a two-on-one beating.He knew what he was supposed todo.
Instead, he backed up.When he ran into thering of bystanders and someone tried to push him forward into thefight, he turned and shoved his way through the crowd.He had thesame rush of adrenaline he’d always gotten when there was fighting,but he couldn’t use it the way he always had.He needed to move,and he needed air.
When he made it out of the bar, he walkedeven faster and refused to turn around.He’d driven down with Seanbut had been prepared to take a cab home.Now, he knew he wouldn’tbe able to sit still for even a short car ride.Instead, he brokeinto a jog.He was running away.He was a coward and a disgrace.And there would be consequences.
Lucas was dozing on the couch when the frontdoor crashed open.He stood automatically, wondering if the copshad come to find him, then didn’t relax at all when Sean and theboys staggered into the room.
They saw him and stared.No words, justaggression.And Lucas had nothing to say, either.It was Sean whofinally broke the silence.“What the fuck, Lucas?”
Sean was bleeding from a slice across histemple and the other side of his face was swelling across hischeekbone and up around his eye.He had a split lip and bloodyknuckles.And he was probably in the best shape of any of them.
“I couldn’t—” Lucas started, but Sean cut himoff.
“If you say one fucking word about parole orcurfew, Lucas, I swear to fucking God—”
“I’m not going back to jail,” Lucas said.Itwasn’t the real reason he hadn’t fought, but it was the excuse thatthe guys might, just might, accept.
“But it’s okay if we do?Fighting over yourfucking whore?”Mikey was growling through an unmoving jaw, andmaybe it was because he was too angry to enunciate, but more likelythere was something broken under his purpling skin.
“I told Sean I don’t care about her.I toldall of you I don’t care about her.Don’t pin this on me.You guysfought because you wanted to.”
“Why didn’tyouwant to?”Sean’s voicewas quiet, but it cut through the roaring in Lucas’s head moreeffectively than a gunshot.
With one of the others, Lucas would haveavoided the question.But with Sean, he felt like he needed to try.“I don’t know.I’ve changed.I don’t think I’m brainwashed, man,but yeah, I changed the way I think.I just can’t do that stuffanymore.”
“So you’d rather let your friends get beat upthan do something you don’t feel like doing?”Casey was thequietest of the guys, so if he was speaking up, Lucas knew thefeelings ran deep.
“You want me to help you move, or buildsomething or work on your cars…we used to do all that stuff too,you know…you want me to do any of that, I’m there.But I’m notfighting anymore.”And he might as well get it over with.“No moredrinking, either.I’ve got three years of parole, but even afterthat, no more drinking.I’m done with that.”
“Jesus.”Mikey snorted in disgust, thenwinced in pain from the vibration of his face.“I had no idea youwere such a fucking pussy, Cain.”
“They might have bent you over in jail,”Tinker said, “but that doesn’t mean you can’t straighten up nowthat you’re out.”
Damn it.Lucas had seen Sean’s eyes narrow assoon as he’d understood the direction the conversation was going.“You should go,” Sean said.“Find somewhere else to sleeptonight.”
Lucas had been afraid it would come to this.“I can’t.With the fight, the cops are likely to come by here tocheck on you or me or both of us.My parole says I have to be inthis house from nine ’til six.If they come by and I’m nothere…”
“Your fucking parole is a pretty handyexcuse,” Mikey said.He turned to Sean.“You need to kick his assout.What if he sleepwalks, thinks he’s back in the pen, and crawlsright into bed with you, like he did with his fuck-buddiesinside?”
Sean wasn’t looking at Lucas anymore.Hewasn’t looking at anybody, his gaze wild and almost feral, ananimal willing to chew off its leg in order to escape from a trap.“Get your shit and get out,” he growled.“They’re right.You aren’tthe same person anymore, and the new person is a fuckingpussy.”
“Faggot,” Mikey supplied helpfully.
