“I thought you . . .” Her lips wobble as she refuses to finish the sentence.
“Hold my hand,” I say, thinking back to all the times she asked to hold my hand while we were growing up.
Her wet eyes stare at my hand as it trembles in front of her, but she’s frozen.
I take hers instead, folding her fingers around my hand. “If you hold on to me, I can’t go anywhere without you.”
I wait for her to say something. Anything. I’d settle for her grasping my hand with the slightest touch—
She inches closer in a sudden move that’s somehow in slow motion and rests her head on my shoulder.
I’m not used to Emma being so timid. Her actions arealways so head-on and determined. Maybe that’s why a nervous sensation ripples down my spine.
I breathe slowly, heart spiking as her hands wrap around my waist. I know in an instant, I’m not over her because I don’t want her to move. I want to keep her this close. I want to protect her from ever getting hurt again.
I can’t change what she saw, but I will stop it from repeating.
My arms wrap around her, holding her tightly. “I won’t leave you.”
“Promise?”
I step back enough to see her face, her red cheeks and puffy eyes. I brush away her tears, hand lingering. “I swear.”
She nods, but that’s not enough. I need her to believe me beyond a doubt.
“Look at me. Am I lying?”
Her eyes roam over me until they meet my gaze. “No.”
“It’s going to be okay.”
She takes a deep breath. “Okay.”
I stare at her wet eyes, and my heart aches, desperate to make her feel better. “Can we forget the last few years? Just for today?”
She bites her lip. “I don’t know how.”
“Let’s try,” I say. “Let’s pretend we’re just hanging out like old times.”
“Why do you want to do that?”
“Because I miss you.”
She hesitates, staring at me as she thinks. I can only imagine what’s going through her mind. But then she nods. “Okay. Just for today.”
A smile pulls at my lips.
I grab her hand again, encasing it in mine. “Let’s go back inside.”
I’ve held her hand a million times before, but this isn't the same as us holding hands as kids. It’s not playful. My hand is hyper-aware of hers like there’s lightning shooting up my arm, and at the same time I don’t want to let go.
It’s a feeling I want to get used to again, and I try not to focus on the unknown. I can’t help but remember how this Emma doesn’t belong here, which makes me nervous. I’m afraid she’ll disappear into thin air when I’m not looking.
I hold on to her tighter because I just got her back. I don’t want to lose her again, not when we’ve made more progress in mere hours than we have in years.
I don’t know what tomorrow holds. All I know is I have her today, and I’m not going to waste it. I’m going to treat today like it’s the only day we have together.
Because what if it is?
