EMMA
My body hits the cold water and it pulls me under, swallowing me into darkness. My heart races, and I’m too stunned to move. I can’t think because Myles’s face is the only thing I see. The pain in his eyes as he forced me over the edge.
He didn’t do it. He didn’t hurt Mallory, but somehow this is harder to wrap my mind around. He threw his life away on the hope I could find Mallory.
I choke, shocking me into reality as water enters my mouth. The unwelcome taste propels me to kick my legs and swing my arms until I emerge. Water flows into my face as I thrash against the river.
The sun is fading, and I swing my body around to get a better look at the bridge. No one is standing up there. Myles is gone.
“Mallory!” I yell, beating at the water until I get to a point where I can stand. I yell her name again, looking in every direction.
She has to be here because if she isn’t, then it means everything we’ve been through was for nothing.
My foot catches on a rock and I fall forward, water splashing in my eyes. I’m so weak I have to force myself to crawl out of the river. “Mallory!” I scream, voice hoarse. “Where are you?”
I run along the river with legs made of lead, keeping my eyes on the slow rapids for any sign of her.
Tears cascade down my face, dripping from my chin. This is worse than I could’ve ever imagined.
How could I have missed the glaring fact that Mallory needed help? I was so focused on what I thought best that I overlooked the real problem. She was falling apart. She was broken and sick.
I run to the point where I can’t follow the river anymore.
“Mallory!” It’s like I’m screaming into a void, and there’s no one calling back. “Tell me where you are!”
Am I too late? Did we waste so much time arguing on the bridge that she’s already drowned? Am I about to find her lifeless body floating in the water?
I spin around, gasping for air.
There has to be another explanation because I can’t live with myself if she’s really gone forever. Not when it’s my fault. I had the chance to save her and I failed.
All this time I wanted to understand what happened to her but . . .
Shewantedto die.
I don’t bother wiping my tears as I scream. I’m a mess, clothes dripping and hair plastered to my face.
This isn’t right.
I won’t let this be true.
They never found her body, so where is she?
My knees buckle and I sink to the ground. I’m exhausted, and my head is light. But more than anything I’m lonely, and there’s no one here to help me stay upright. No one here to tell me everything is going to be okay.
Everything is an awful shade of white. The walls, the bedsheets, the blinds on the window. Even with my vision blurred, I know this isn’t my room. It’s clean and smells sterile.
I lift my arm. There’s an IV inserted in the back of my hand with some sort of tape holding it in place.
“Emma, can you hear me?”
It’s my dad.
He’s at my side. His hand lands on my cheek. “Are you okay?”
I focus on him and his red-rimmed eyes. I swear his hair has grayed more since the last time I saw him and he’s lost weight. He’s thin and his shoulders slump forward like he’s trying to hide. He looks like he hasn’t eaten or slept in weeks.
I gasp, trying to sit up. “Mallory. We need to find Mallory.”
