I know exactly where it leads: Myles. And no one is going to change my mind. He’s a horrible person, and that’s something I believe so strongly it’s in my bones. It’s engraved into my being at this point. I’d love to forget what I saw, but I can’t.
“You,” he says like it’s a curse word. “That’s the only explanation. He took the blame for you.”
I almost laugh. He can’t be serious. Myles and I hadn’t talked in years. He’d never take the fall for something I did. “Yeah, right.”
“It’s the only thing that makes sense! Why else would he say he never saw you that day?”
“Because that’s the truth—”
“The ticket.” He huffs, crossing his arms. “That’s you. How do you explain it? It was from that night.”
“That isn’t me. It’s Mallory!”
“She never wore her hair down,” he says without skipping a beat.
“What?” I step back as a shiver traces down my spine. I don’t know if I’m thrown off by the confidence he spoke with or the crumb of truth to what he said.
“Somehow this is your fault,” Sam says. “And I’m going to prove it.”
My ears ring from the guilt rising in my chest. I already blame myself enough for that night. What if I had been there? Would I have been able to stop him? I don’t even remember Mallory and Myles spending time together. Was I so focused on myself I overlooked whatever was going on between them?
“We both know Myles isn’t the type of person who’d do something like this,” Sam says.
I would’ve agreed if I hadn’t seen it with my own two eyes, but I did.
The Myles I knew disappeared ages ago. He went from the boy who would lie on my bedroom floor staring at the ceiling while I rambled, to taking the long way around school to avoid running into me. “I don’t know him anymore.”
“Yes, you do.” He says it like he’s begging me toreconsider, stomping his foot like a little kid. “You know him better than anyone!”
Mallory’s scream replays in my mind, the dark night coming into view. The street lamps lit up her hair as it flew when she fell.
I had stormed toward Myles seconds after it happened. I hit him, screaming into his face, and he let me. He didn’t block his face or try to run. He stood there like a statue while I beat him, pounding my fist into his chest.
Since that moment I’ve tried to understand it, but I can’t.
I cover my ears and slam my eyes shut. “Stop!”
My eyes water, but I blink the tears away. A gust of wind blows through my hair, and I breathe in to calm my pounding heart.
I turn, staring at the brick school behind me. Students jump away from the windows like they don’t want to be caught eavesdropping. I don’t want to go back in there, at least not yet. I want to disappear. To hide somewhere away from all my problems, but there isn’t a place on this earth that could take on a challenge that massive. My problems are like mountains, towering into the clouds for everyone to see.
My lip twitches and I start to walk away.
“Where are you going?”
“Away!”
“You can’t run forever! I’m going to prove what really happened that night!” Sam yells.
I scoff.The truth.Like he doesn’t think I’ve tried to figure it out. I guarantee I’ve spent way longer dissecting every aspect of that night and replaying it.
I keep walking, powering through the soft green grass toward the main road. I know I should be a good daughter and go back to school, but I can’t handle it right now. I justwant to get away from all of this. I refuse to sit through hours of classes as a spectacle, but I can’t bring myself to go back home either. My stomach drops as I think about the possibility of the for sale sign in the yard again.
My blazer slips off my shoulder in the wind, and I tug it back into place, holding it there instead of taking the three seconds needed to fasten the buttons.
When I was little, it was easy to make myself feel better. I’d turn on the TV to my favorite show or sneak into the kitchen for a snack. If that didn’t work, I’d walk into Mallory’s room because she was always so calm and collected and could make everything better.
There were times when my parents fought that suddenly made our giant home feel too small. The walls were too hollow and their voices echoed through every crack.
