As soon as my eyes opened, that feeling was back. J.D. called it powerless, and while that was close, it was so much more complex. I felt bad for Casey. I couldn't imagine knowing my ride was going bad, pulling the tail of my rope, and then being trapped as the bull killed me. I couldn't wrap my mind around the fear, knowing the bullfighters weren't there for him when he needed them most. I also really didn't want to care.
"Hey?" Tanner asked as he shut off my alarm. "You doing this today, Cody?"
"Mhm," I mumbled into his chest.
So he leaned in and hugged me hard. I felt his lips brush across my brow, but J.D.'s arms were twined around my waist. For just a moment, I let myself enjoy this -them- before I had to get moving. My shower was hot, the coffee was from roomservice, and our breakfast included pancakes. Yeah, that was a J.D. thing, but Tanner and I liked it.
And before I was allowed to leave the suite, J.D. made me put that knife back in my boot.
While I probably could've caught a ride with one of the other riders, J.D. insisted on driving me over while Tanner grabbed a shower. They had a few hours before the doors would officially open, but I had to check in, get warmed up, and all that good stuff. Yet as we pulled into the convention center parking lot, J.D. slowed the truck way down.
"Yeah, that's about what I thought would happen," he said, flicking a finger toward the main doors.
I turned in the passenger seat, surprised at the press lined up there. I caught two local channels, one truck that said CNN, and ESPN was there too, of course. There were more, but I couldn't read all the numbers and letters being displayed. Instead, I tried to count how many people were crowded around the entrance.
"There has to be at least twenty!" I gasped, turning back to look at J.D.
He shrugged. "That's what happens when someone dies doing a sport. Hell, even happens when those high school kids have a heart attack and shit. Last time, we couldn't walk without getting grabbed by someone asking us questions."
"You think they'll ask about Tanner?"
"Prolly." He kept going around the building to the entrance on the opposite side the riders were using. "Cody, don't you go trying to protect him from that, neither."
"I'm not going to throw him under the bus!" I shot back.
"Naw, babe," he begged. "Hear me out? I'm saying Tanner did good. He took a big risk because he's damned good at his job, and that he ain't doing his job right now is the problem. So you use that, not the bullshit line the PBR is going to try to trot out."
"Which will be?"
He shrugged again. "Dunno, but they always try it. They have lawyers to think that shit through, and there's a real good chance Casey's family's gonna sue 'em. Now, that means the thing you have to decide is if you wanna give them fodder, ignore all this bullshit and keep using the lines you've been, or start some shit."
"Start some shit," I said, confirming that our talk last night had stuck.
And that earned me one of those sexy little smirks J.D. was so good at. They made him look a little crazy, but I now knew better. This man didn't care about that stuff. What mattered to him were the right things. The shit that mattered to real people - like Tanner and me.
Then he put the truck in park and turned to face me. "This is your stop." But he tapped the console like he had something else to say. Once, his mouth opened, but then he shut it again.
"What?" I pressed, reaching over to take his hand.
His eyes dropped to where our fingers twined together. "You're my girl, Cody," he finally said. "He's my boy. Thing is, I don't like where this is going. Just..." He swallowed hard. "Be safe today?"
"I will," I promised. "J.D., I'm not looking to win. I'm just looking to get off the dirt and make sure they can't say I quit."
"That's my rookie," he breathed, running his thumb across my knuckles. "Now get the fuck outta my truck before I try to kiss ya where folks can see."
"Iam not ashamed of you two," I reminded him.
"Oh, I ain't ashamed of either one of ya, but we wanna make sure Tanner comes back," he reminded me. "That's the only reason I'm still playing this game, because we need him, and for more than putting in the middle."
"Put that on my wishlist," I teased as I pushed open the door. "And don't do anything stupid, J.D. You're almost healed."
"Doc said he'll give me a physical on Sunday, but not sure how that's gonna work with this mess," he said as I climbed out. "Draw a good bull, girl!"
"Go get my boyfriend, boy!" I shot back, as I dragged my gear bags out, then shut the door.
Through the window, his smile softened as he lifted a hand. I mirrored the gesture, then turned for the doors. Today was a new day. Just this ride, right? Just this bull. I only had two more nights of this, then we'd get another weekend off - and this time we had plans.
A real vacation. A nice little retreat. Since our next show was in Nashville, and that was J.D.'s home show, he'd told his mama we'd be crashing with her for a couple weeks. I wanted to say it was his house, since he'd bought it, but J.D. was adamant it wasn't. Nope, he'd bought that for his mother and sister. He had a room, but only to visit.
