He nodded. "Yep, that's one I know."
"Me too," Tanner agreed, moving behind me to gently rub my shoulders. "So you try to pretend it's not happening, or not a problem. You do your best to ignore it and push on, but the resentment is still there, still growing, so you do something else. Something crazier. Something bigger. Something that pushes it back for a minute."
"But I want to fix this!" I said, looking between them.
Tanner simply bent down to kiss the top of my head. "Cody, this isn't your problem to fix."
"Doesn't mean I can't fix it," I grumbled. "There has to be some way to stop all this bullshit that doesn't include me quitting!"
J.D. leaned in, hooking a finger under my chin so I had to look at him. "Cody, there's no way they're gonna let you fix this, but you know what you can do?"
"What?"
He smiled. "You can yell and scream real fuckin' loud, girl. If they aren't gonna play by the rules, then there's no damned reason you should either. See, you're my rookie, and I threw my fists when I felt it. They gave me shit for being a little Mexican boy, and I got real pissed."
"I felt like I had to laugh at the gay jokes," Tanner said. "I couldn't, and it was infuriating to have to ignore them. But if I reacted, it just gave them more power to get under my skin."
"But see," J.D. went on, "most of them boys? They don't get it. They ain't never had no one push them down like that. All their lives, they've been hot shit. Thing is, they're starting to feelit for the first time, and you? Girl, you've been feeling it since you first hung onto a sheep, I bet."
"Yeah..." I agreed softly.
He nodded. "So tell 'em, Cody. Tell all of 'em, and you let 'em hear how fucking pissed you are about it. How pissed you are for them, too. You go out there tomorrow and you fight like the pissed-off bitch you're supposed to be, but you fightforthem, and I bet they won't fucking know what to do with that."
I found myself nodding, liking this idea. "So I need to fight like a girl, huh?"
"Yeah," Tanner said around a laugh. "I mean, that's one thing none of these guys will know how to deal with."
"And the press will be all over the arena tomorrow," J.D. pointed out. "So make me proud, rookie."
Chapter 7
I nailed my ride.I was also taking a page out of Cody's book and playing it safe. I didn't push myself to the limit. I didn't bail off the moment the timer ran out. Instead, I rode an extra buck to make sure I got off with plenty of space to avoid hitting the wall. There, a few of the Americans pulled me up, but my bull was headed out on his own.
I wasn't going to win tonight. With a score in the upper eighties, I'd get a little money, but that was all I wanted right now. Renato, on the other hand, put us all to shame. His ninety-one had him on the leaderboard, yet when I told him to meet me at the bar when he was done, he said no. I had to sit my ass down, wait through the ending bullshit, and ride over with him.
Sadly, the crowd didn't hang around that long. Not in the stands, nor behind the chutes. Cody certainly didn't. Down in the halls of the convention center, only a few of the new guys were still standing around, chattering amongst themselves. I almost felt sorry for them. These boys had never seen the PBR when things were good. They'd bumped up due to all the injuries knocking guys out, but to them, it was still very exciting.
And that was when a man in a very stiff white shirt noticed me. "Ty!" he barked.
"What?!" I shot back.
So he made his way over. "What was that today?"
"A nice, clean, safe ride," I told him.
"I meant before you rode."
I laughed once, pretty sure that whichever bigshot this was, he was about to let me know how long my vacation was going to be - and not the voluntary kind. The strange thing was, I gave exactly zero fucks. So I shrugged, pretty sure my exhaustion at this bullshit was written all across my face.
"I let Austin know his shit is why I'm more worried about staying in one piece than giving a good ride."
"Austin has nothing to do with how you ride," he corrected.
I scoffed at that. "Which one are you?"
"Excuse me?"
"What's your name?" I clarified.
