"And no one here would care about that difference," Djalu said. "Either they're a fucking bigot or they're not. Either they're going to try to give these three shit, or they're not. I'm on the not side, J.D." Then he stepped back, smiled, and turned to head to wherever the fuck he was going.
Jackson simply turned his attention on Cody. "Don't let them fuck with you either, ok?"
"I'm good," she promised. "Believe it or not, I'm used to getting shit from bull riders."
"Yeah, well, Canada has both of your backs." He offered me a smile. "Ty made it fucking clear that either we're all in or he'll make us pay. No one had an issue."
"Huh." I nodded even as I stepped back to lean on the panel again.
Ok, I hadn't expected that. Shit, I hadn't expected Ty to step up like a real man, but he fucking well was. He'd actually listened to me when I'd said we needed a way to team up - then he'd made it happen with his country.
And I was doing a shit job of that with mine, but Jake? That fucker was stepping up a bit. Not as much as I'd like, buthe had the potential to round up the Americans and get them working together. Renato already had a good grip on Brazil, and it sounded like Djalu was handling Australia.
Which meant the PBR was changing. Little by little, and in subtle ways I'd almost missed, but it was happening. Coming out like I just had? Well, that meant I'd be shit for leading, and Cody was in the same boat, but things were still changing.
So maybe Jaxon was disgusted by me now. And yeah, maybe I'd thought he was more of a friend than that, but fuck it. Fuck him. Fuck anyone who thought I was only good when I was pissed off, hurting others, and acting like women were my own personal fuck dolls.
Fuck Donald Merrill for going after Tanner just when I'd fallen in love with him, and fuck everyone who'd made Cody feel like being a woman and a rider wasn't possible. Fuck the ones who cared more about the bullshit than the sport.
Because we were here tofucking ride.
"J.D.?" Cody asked, watching me.
I just shook my head, letting this spiral in my mind. I wasn't gonna bitch about people thinkin' I was gross. I wasn't gonna let it hurt me. I was still fucking better than them. Hell, I had all the records to prove it, and even after a month on the sidelines, ain't none of these shits caught me yet.
Only Cody was good enough to make me worry. Only she had the skill to outride everyone in history. We were the fucking outcasts here, and still showing them up. They wanted to hate us and couldn't because we were so good. They wanted to idolize us, and couldn't because we didn't fit in their cheap-ass fucking molds.
Which meant things were changing - and I had nothing left to lose.
I had her. I had him. I had all the things I'd thought were impossible. Anything after this was just gravy. And if the PBRwas about to come after me, what sort of legacy did I wanna leave? Not this shit. Not the hate, the brutality, and the fucking division.
Naw, I was gonna burn that shit to the fucking ground.
"Look," Jackson was telling Cody, "no one's going to give Tanner shit. They're all too happy to have the wolf pack back. But I can't say Austin won't go after J.D. now. Eli and Derek are in the locker room with him, and those three always egg each other on."
"Fuck 'em," I said.
"Really?" Cody asked. "Because that's worked for us so far, right?"
"Kinda has," I reminded her. "They tried to chase off Tanner and took out one of their own."
"Ouch," Jackson huffed. "Yeah, I don't think that's how they see Casey's death."
"Still what happened," I told him. "They pulled the safety team because of who Tanner's fucking - me. One of theirs got hurt because of it."
"Killed is a bit more than hurt," Cody grumbled.
"Still meanstheypaid," I explained. "They keep fucking themselves over, and we keep making out better because of them. So yeah, fuck 'em. Fuck this shit." Then I raised my voice. "And fuck anyone who has a problem with me liking dick!"
And from across the room, someone called back, "Hey, I like my own dick. Figure that counts!"
Most of the men in the room chuckled in that uncomfortable way people do when they aren't sure if it was meant to be funny or not. I also had no clue who'd said that, but I found myself smiling a bit. Just enough to stop fretting about the pain I knew was still to come.
"Doesn't mean I wanna fuck you!" I yelled back.
And that did it. The laughter came as a roar and smiles reappeared. The best part? One of them was on me.
Yeah, I had this shit.
