"No fucking shit," I agreed. "Figure this is gonna blow up big time when I say something."
"But you have to win Friday night to do that," he pointed out.
"Shit," I said around a laugh. "My only competition will be Cody."
"And she's been riding the last few weeks," Tanner countered. "You haven't."
"Maybe not," I agreed, "but the judges hate her. Friday, I'll be just fine. If we're riding, the PBR will be so damned happy to have people in the seats, they won't think to give me shit, so I'll make nineties." I let him go to reach for my own beer. "It's Saturday when shit'll be bad."
"So you think it's going to get bad?" he asked.
"Yeah." Because I wouldn't lie to him about that. "I also think it's worth it."
"Why?" he pressed. "I mean, I know my reasons, but what is pushing you?"
"Well..." I didn't want to lie to him or skip over shit, but this talking shit wasn't as easy as people made it sound. "Tanner, I ain't young no more."
"You're not even thirty," he reminded me.
I waved him down. "Naw, I know that. What I mean is this shit didn't used to hurt. Yeah, I took the hits, and I got bucked off, run over, and all that. But a decade ago, I got up and kept going. You know, kinda like Cody. But it ain't that easy no more."
"No, it's not," he agreed.
"But I wanna do something before I'm done," I continued. "See, all these records and shit? Most bulls in a row without a buck-off. Most money earned. Highest scores. All that shit's gonna be topped by someone else one day. I mean, that's how it's supposed to be, but I wanna make my mark on the PBR."
"How?"
So I gestured between us. "This. This is my mark, Tanner. I was there when the first woman rode. I wanna make sure she ain't the last. And gay cowboys? Bi, pan, or even ace ones? Yeah, that shouldn't be no big deal. I wanna be the man who screamedout loud when they tried to make who I fuck into something. I wanna push back until that's no big deal. And no, maybe there won't be no one to remember I did it, but I will."
He nodded slowly, taking that in. "So you think this weekend is it?"
"Hope not," I said. "Also won't be shocked if it is. You?"
He murmured and shrugged. "I dunno. Last weekend, I was fine with being done. The thought of retiring to be a nice little house boy for you two? I mean, I like that, but coming back? Everything that's happened the last few days? It's all reminded me why I love this so much."
"So you ain't ready to be done," I realized, nodding to show I accepted it. "But Tanner, this works out. I mean, Cody's not done either."
But that was when the waiter returned, carrying our plates. The man smiled at me but set Tanner's meal down first. I was served second, but as he arranged things, I realized this guy's gestures were a little more effeminate than expected. Nothing blatant, but yeah, that was why he'd figured out this was a date.
"Anything else I can get you two?" he asked.
"Not me," I assured him. "Babe?"
"I'm good too," Tanner said, giving me a look as the waiter sauntered off. "Showing off?"
"Maybe," I said. "I mean, that?" Using my fork, I gestured in the area of his body. "Babe, lavender is definitely your color, and that grey tie? Givin' me some real bad ideas."
"I'll tie you up with it later," he teased. "I mean, since Cody's sleeping in the other room."
"Was kinda a two-fold plan," I admitted.
"What was?"
"Cody using the other bed," I explained. "See, if she's sleeping alone, she might stay out later. She might drink too much, laugh too hard, and flirt a bit."
"She's not looking," Tanner reminded me.
"But she should be," I told him, trying my food. "Ok, this is good." And then I was right back to my point. "Tanner, Cody's been with us. Me, you, Ty, and that dick from her home town. That's it. And I don't mean fucked. I mean been with. Dated. That's a real short list, you know? There wasn't a boy in elementary school, or someone in middle school. It was the four of us in her whole entire life. So how the fuck is she gonna be sure of what she wants if she ain't tried it?"
