I chuckled at her. "It's because people tell the age of horses by looking at their teeth. If somebody gives you a free horse, you don't want to be picky about how old it is. After all, it's free."
"And it could also be taken as an insult to the gift giver," Luke added. "Helen, you needed a car, didn't you?"
"You have no idea," the woman said. "Between the kids and my job, I was always driving to one place or another, and my other car started maybe half the time. I couldn't even afford to get it inspected, let alone fixed! I was so sure that I was about to lose my job, and just when I needed it, some guardian angel decided to do this? I just want to tell them thank you."
"I have a funny feeling that if someone bought you a car, then they know exactly how much you would appreciate it," I told her. "You know, I can't count the number of times that I wished for just one lucky break so I could finally get ahead. Sounds to me like you just got one. Hopefully, this makes things a little easier. Emily was telling me that you recently got divorced?"
Helen nodded. "Yeah. My husband just packed his things one night and left us. Said this wasn't what he signed up for, and he found himself a new girlfriend. We were old news, and I haven't heard from the bastard since. Well, now we don't need him."
"No you don't," I agreed. "Any man who walked away from his kids like that deserves a swift kick in the balls and not much else."
"I can't even wrap my mind around it," Luke admitted. "How could someone just hand in their kids? I mean, I understand that sometimes relationships don't work out, that has nothing at all to do with the kids."
Helen beamed at him like Luke had just said something amazing. "You need to make sure you keep this one, Violet. Almost impossible to find a family man anymore. Every man I've ever met just wanted someone to wash his clothes and pick up after him."
"I think it's because most of you women are too damned nice," Luke told her. "I know that if I left my socks on the floor, Violet would make sure that I never wanted to do it again."
"I'm not that bad," I told him.
Luke just grinned at me. "Darlin', you don't have to be. You made it very clear that if I wanted to stick around, I had to be the one impressing you, not the other way around."
"I am definitely taking notes," Emily said. "I have no idea how you're juggling three boyfriends, and I couldn't manage to keep one."
"Three?" Helen asked, looking between us like she'd clearly misunderstood.
Emily pointed over to where Ash and Cy were listening to Berto. "She has the former model, the doctor, and the town heartthrob."
"Oh…" Helen shifted awkwardly, and her voice no longer sounded as confident. "I thought those two guys were a couple."
"It's more of a fluid relationship," Luke explained. Then he cleared his throat. "The four of us are kind of all together."
Helen turned to Emily as if that was how she would find her answer. "Like…"
"Exactly like that," Emily assured her. "It's kind of like one of those ménage romances, a long-term thing. And the four of them are so cute together."
Helen's cheeks were quickly turning darker, and her eyes jumped back to Luke. "But they're like together - together. Romantically."
"Sexually, too," Luke said. "And with me. Then again, maybe that's your answer. Maybe, in order to find a good man, you need to find a guy who's bisexual."
Helen sucked in a breath - and then laughed. "Maybe I do! In all honesty, I can't really say that I would complain much. I mean, it's everyone's dream, isn't it?"
"Well, it certainly is mine. And I'm living it!" I laughed, hoping she knew that I was not taking this for granted. "I mean, when a situation like this falls in your lap, a woman would have to be stupid to say no."
"And now I know exactly why some women in town hate you," Helen said. "It's because they wish they were you. Hell, right now,Iwish I was you. I'm just going to be excited about my new car, and try to convince myself that I can come close to comparing."
"Well, Pastor David says that we're supposed to be thankful for the little things, right?" Luke told her. "I'm just thankful that my girlfriend and boyfriends accept me as I am. Congratulations on the new car, Helen. I need to figure out where my daughter has run off to."
And with that, Luke turned me away, aiming for the truck. We didn't even make it all the way there before the man started chuckling under his breath. He dared to glance over, but he looked honestly amused.
"What?" I asked.
"After all of that," he said, "you never admitted to buying her that car, and I'm pretty sure you just got one more person in town on your side. I'm starting to think you're an evil overlord, Violet."
Chapter Forty-Three
At church, dozens of people came up to ask me about the lingerie parties. Most of them wanted to make sure that it was really happening, and that they were honestly invited. A few wanted to double-check the day and time. Over and over, Cy and I reassured them that it was Thursday evening at six. Quite a few promised me that they were coming.
So, after Faith headed to school on Monday, I went into my office and made a call to New York. When Leslie answered the office line, she sounded distracted. And yet, the moment she realized it was me, her entire attitude changed.
