"Naked," I added for him. "Often balls-deep."
"There's that," Ash admitted. "Although it was usually more intimidating, fumbling, and often even giggling." He dimmed his tablet and moved to set it on the table beside the bed. "She was my first, you know. And I was hers. We kinda figured it all out together."
"You were freaking out, weren't you?" I asked, smiling much too big at the idea.
Because I knew Ash. I'd seen him fake it a million times as kids. He'd had more swagger than anyone else at Southwind, and it had taken me a bit to figure out that he was just bluffing. Granted, we'd been kids back then, so we'd all been bluffing, desperately trying to figure out who we were. Still, I'd thought that Ash was the guy who had it figured out. It was part of what had made me crush on him so hard at first. Learning otherwise had been what made me fall in love with him.
Ash ran his eyes over my body, pushed off his underwear, and then crawled under the blankets before he decided to answer that. "We talked about it a lot before it happened," he explained. "But yeah. That night? I was freaking out bad. And when it was over - with lackluster results, mind you - all I could think was that I wanted to tell you."
I pushed down my pants and underwear, leaving myself naked, then walked over to turn off the light. "Set Lucy on the floor, would ya?" I asked.
Ash chuckled. "Is that the gay version of rose petals on the bed? Maybe lighting some candles or putting on mood music?"
"It's the stable and realistic version of saying that I don't want to squish her when I kiss you the way I want to," I admitted as I slid into the bed.
I felt Ash shift, heard Lucy huff, and then I followed the sound of her feet over to the end of the bed where she had a very nice dog bed. She wasn't suffering, but she was a little spoiled. Then again, so was I, because when Ash settled back into the bed, he scooted closer, his hand reaching for my chest.
I pressed into his touch. "Do you have any idea of how hot it is to see you getting excited over clothes?" I asked.
His palm moved over my pectoral, then down, sliding right across my nipple. "Oh, you like it when I show off my feminine side?" he teased.
"I like it when you show off the man you've become," I corrected, tensing as his fingers moved down to trace my ribs. "You are so much more than most people can ever understand, Ash. Violet might be a viper, but you are too."
"Mm, she's an asp and I'm a cobra," he decided. "She sneaks up on you and I have to be flamboyant."
"Threatening," I corrected. "Like how you got up in Tommy's face and all but dared him to do something about it."
"Because he was there," Ash told me. "When Luke and I got arrested, that jackass was there. I put my fist into his face, and I damned well remember it."
"Which is why he left," I realized, shifting with his touch. "I love how they think that because we aren't straight, we must be weak, fragile little men."
Which was when Ash's hand made it down to my dick. "That doesn't feel very feminine," he pointed out.
Yeah, and I was already hard, and growing harder by the second. "No, but when I let you push me around in a second, you might change your mind."
I saw the smile flash across Ash's lips in the darkness. "You know there's no kid in the house tonight."
"Mhm," I agreed. "I'm also starting to get jealous of how you keep pushing your other boyfriend around and not me."
His fingers wrapped around my shaft and stroked me so slowly. "Yeah? And here I thought I was trying to show you that I love you for more than a fuck."
"Maybe I want to be fucked too," I countered. "Maybe I have a fantasy of letting Ashton Walker have his way with me." Then I leaned in until my lips were right next to his. "More because I know exactly what that means and how rough you like to get."
He pushed forward, closing the gap between our mouths and kissed me. His fingers tightened on my dick, but my hand found his ass, pulling him even closer. I wanted all of his body touching me, every last fucking inch of this man. I couldn't get enough of how hard he was.
Not just his dick or his muscles, but everything about him. Ash wasn't soft and gentle, not even when he was lost in his designs. He was always a little too serious and much too driven. To me, that was sexy. Oh, I loved Violet for being so delicate and yet unbreakable. I loved Luke for his raw honesty. I loved Ash for his layers.
Because this man wasn't simple. He never had been. He was smart, passionate, and he could be so brutal when he wanted to be, and right now I wanted that power turned on me. I wanted to know all of Ash, to let him claim me, and to finally know what it felt like when the bad boy took control.
When he shifted his hips to press against mine, I thrust, all but forcing him to move his hand. Instead, he pressed my dick right up against his, holding it there as I bucked across his length with my own. I heard his breath catch, but it was almost imperceptible. Then he kissed me harder, his tongue taking control of my mouth.
I let him. Kiss by kiss, his body was waking up. Touch by touch, he began to believe that I meant exactly what I'd said. When he pushed me onto my back, I went, not surprised at all that he followed - but Ash kept stretching until he could reach the drawer where I kept the lube. Pulling out the bottle, he opened the top, then paused.
"Been using a bit of this lately, have you?" he asked.
"Oh, I sometimes have this hot, sexy cowboy in here. He can't decide if he likes to bottom or top more, so we usually go at it both ways."
"Now I'm tempted to see just how many times you can cum in a row," Ash teased.
