He stole another kiss, then stepped back. "Work and talk?" he offered. "Because I've got three holes to patch in this drywall, and I think we should paint it before they move in. If we can get the dumpster, then we should be able to sweep this shit out, and Emily can start moving in this weekend."
So I pulled off my shirt, tossed it to the side, and headed for the other room where I knew we had a few sheets of drywall stored. As I rounded the corner, I called back, "No promises that I won't steal a few more of those kisses, and I'll definitely stare a bit, but we got this."
When I came back, Luke had a small toolbox. I had no idea where he'd stored it, but he was pulling out a hand saw. Together, we got to work. The cracked or dented sections of drywall had to be cut out. New pieces had to be placed inside, and then we had to repair the texture on the walls. Thankfully, the necessary supplies were all here. It was almost like someone had planned ahead, and I had a funny feeling that had been Luke.
"I'll cut the patch," I offered as I moved to his toolbox. "Just let me know what size."
"Thanks," Luke said, turning to glance at me before focusing on his work. "As for your question earlier, I think I'm doing fine on the proud, but I'm not so sure about the out part."
"Oh, I'm pretty sure you're out," I said as I lifted the tray at the top to see if he had another measuring tape in the lower layer.
Which was when I saw a small, clear bottle. At first, I assumed it was hand sanitizer or something, but when I moved it to look under, I recognized the label. Unable to stop myself, I dropped my head and laughed.
"Is there a reason you have lube in your toolbox?" I asked.
He chuckled. "Yeah. Seems someone told Darnell about the incident in the cottage. He said I needed to be prepared for all things: rust, busted fences, tight asses." He turned to face me. "Pretty sure there's a mini bottle of his and hers flavored stuff in the center console of my truck now too."
"That sounds like Ash," I admitted.
Luke just lifted his hands and let them flop back to his sides. "Yeah, I'm kinda just going with it. I honestly have no idea how I'm going to explain that to Faith when she finds one of them. And since they keep showing up in unexpected places, I'm pretty damned sure she'sgoingto find one."
"Just be honest about it," I said. "Tell her that it's someone picking on you, admit that it's used for sex, and that there's nothing wrong with enjoying sex."
He nodded and turned back to the wall. "You always make this shit sound easy, you know?"
"Is it easy?" I asked.
"And the doctor has just entered the house," he teased. Then he sighed. "No, Cy, it's not easy. I'm ok with the fact that it's not easy, though. I really am. I'm just worried that I'm going to make another mistake, and that this one will be too big to come back from."
"There's no right way to come out," I assured him. "We also don't need you to. I promise that none of us will be offended if you want to move a little slower in public."
"No, it's not that," he said. "I don't give a shit what anyone else thinks except y'all. All y'all." He marked a line, then moved to measure the next. "Faith too. Shit, even Darnell and Cess, I guess. The whole rainbow, let's just go with that."
"Your pastor?" I asked.
He shrugged. "Not as much as I expected. I am proud. I'm damned proud of the people I'm with. I have no problem bragging that I'm getting all three of ya. I'm real damned proud that I have the balls to admit it, and even more proud that Zeke can look at me and see an example of... I dunno what you'd call it. Not lying? Not being scared into the closet by everyone?"
"Coming out," I offered. "Personally, I like how you haven't felt the need to rub it in everyone's face. You're just you, take it or leave it."
"Still scares the shit out of me, though," he admitted. "When people looked at me in the Grill, I kept wondering if they knew. I couldn't help but think about what they were saying about me, because we all know they heard about the trial."
"Waiting for rejection," I offered, guessing that was what he was trying to explain. "It happens to all of us. For me, I went overboard. I was the gayest of the gays, and I made sure that everyone knew I would take it up the ass. I had rainbow everything, even hair for a bit."
He turned back to smile at me. "You'd look good with rainbow hair. Like a louder version of Violet's."
"We'll leave that for Ash," I told him. "But I wore my gay pride the same way goth kids wear black. It was armor. If I called myself a fag first, then it took away their power. The problem was that it didn't make me like myself anymore."
Luke started sawing at the drywall. "It's four by six." But while he worked, he kept talking. "The strange thing is that I think I like myself more now, you know? I used to be so worried about being a good man, but I thought I was failing because I had a shit job, shit house, and such. My pride and joy was the thought that I could make sure my daughter got the chances that I didn't. Thing is, I never once thought to try for more. I'd fucked up my life when I was seventeen, so my chances were over - and then Violet turned everything upside down."
"Pretty sure I did a bit of that too," I pointed out. "If I hadn't kissed you, Luke..."
"Then I would've kept thinking that her friends were too damned pretty to be alone with her. I would've worried that she was going to cheat on me, and I would've fucked this up worse," he said. "I mean, yeah, it sucks balls to tell someone that I like men. When I talked to Mike, I was ready for the worst. Thing is, I still haven't had the worst, but I can imagine it. I know what people say, and one day they'll say it to me."
"And we'll still be at your side," I assured him. "Promise I won't give a shit if you get some dust in your eyes either. Won't call you a pussy if you break down and sob about it. That shit hurts, and there isn't a single thing that makes it better."
"Except us," he countered, punching out the drywall and turning to face me. "You, Ash, and Violet do make it better, Cy. When I was too nervous to even know what to ask, Ash offered it up. When I tried to run away from this, he pulled his asshole shit, and - "
"I heard my name!" came from outside the house.
