There weren't words for the feelings bouncing around in my chest. Regret was in there, so was guilt. I also was so grateful and relieved at the same time. Pushing out a breath, I shoved my face into my hands and tried to just get control of myself. My daughter actually got to stay with me! I could finally be the father to her that I'd longed to be. My friend accepted me.
There was a threat painted on the door.
Yeah, that was a big ol' reality check, but it could be nothing. Granted, the damage they must've done to their truck to get through the front gate made me doubt it, so was I putting Faith at risk? Was this a stupid idea? Had I fucked up before I'd even gotten the chance for my happily ever after? Most of all, why couldn't I make my mind shut the fuck up?
I heard the half-open door creak and looked up to see Faith peeking her head in. "Dad?"
"C'mon in," I told her.
"You ok?" she asked.
Yeah, that got another one of those heavy breaths. It was too much to count as a sigh. "Cupcake, I'm overwhelmed with all of this. None of it happened how I wanted, but the judge said you can stay with me. I just..." I almost stopped myself, but I had to know. "Why'd you still pick me?"
She plopped down on the bed beside me, her little feet tiptoeing on the floor beside mine. "You mean because you lied to me?" she asked.
I laughed once. "I did not. I wasverycareful not to."
She chewed on her bottom lip, thinking about that. "Dad, I don't know who you're dating, but it's ok. You're still my dad, and you still believed me."
"Because you were right," I admitted. "Faith, Violet, and Ash were together. I also knew it."
"And... that's ok?" she asked.
I nodded slowly. "Yep. See, most people will tell you that if you love someone, you have to love only them. If that's the case, then I couldn't date. See, I loveyou." I looked over to make sure she was listening. "And I will always love you most, because that's a dad's job. I also happen to love them too."
"Which one?" she mumbled like she wasn't sure how to ask.
"All three of them, Faith. Ash and Cy love each other. You know that, right?"
"Yeah..."
"Well, I love Ash, and I love Cy, and I also love Violet. Now, I know that's probably weird since I'm your dad, right?" I was gripping my hands between my knees a little too hard. I also couldn't make myself stop.
She simply shrugged, lifting her shoulders just to drop them down hard. "It's weirder that you're ok with Ash and Violet."
"And Cy and Violet," I pointed out. "He loves her too. She loves them both back."
Faith's brow furrowed. "But how can she love you too?"
"How can you love me and your mom?" I asked. "I mean, do you love me more than your mom?"
"Dad!" she groaned.
"See!" I said. "It's hard, right? Just because you love one doesn't mean you have to stop there. You can also love your grandparents, and maybe you love Violet a bit, which is why you were so mad at her?"
"A little," she mumbled.
"Well, I fell in love with Violet first," I said. "I couldn't believe a woman as pretty and nice and smart as her would date a guy like me, but she did. I fell hard, too." I patted my chest over my heart to prove the point. "She swept me off my feet. I thought that was good enough, but then Cy kissed me."
"But you were with Violet!" she gasped.
I nodded. "Yeah. He just wanted to make Ash mad, and I was in the way. I'd never kissed a guy before. I kinda freaked out," I admitted.
She giggled. "Was it gross?"
"Nope." I flashed her a smile, having to work a little to make it happen. "It was so fast, I didn't know what was happening, but it made butterflies in my stomach. So Ash talked to me, because I was kinda scared. I'd never kissed a guy before, and I needed someone to talk to. Well, when I said it was too fast for me to know how I felt about it, he kissed me, and we all told Violet about it, so it wouldn't be cheating." Which skipped a few parts, but that was ok.
Then Faith turned to me and clasped her hands over mine. "Dad? If Violet's ok with it, and it's not cheating, then you can kiss your boyfriends in front of me. I promise I'm not going to bully you about it..." Then she scrunched up her nose and made a face. "But I might get a little embarrassed."
