"She caught your eye, stole your heart, stepped in to save the day, and is now teaching you her heathen ways." He lifted a brow and ran his eyes over me to prove the point. "That woman wears the pants in this family. Now, she won't keep you from wearing them too, but I promise you that if she doesn't want something to happen, then it doesn't happen."
"So she's not tolerating me messing around because she's scared of losing me," I realized, nodding to show I was keeping up. "Yeah, saying it out loud like that, sounds pretty stupid."
Cy chuckled. "But it's what most girls would do, right?"
"Yeah. Had one chick a while back, like years ago. I broke up with her, and she told me she wouldn't complain about the other woman. Thing is, there wasn't another woman. I was just sick of her being all clingy and shit. She wanted me to call her when I woke up, when I made it to each property to feed the cows, and when I was headed to lunch. Like, every stop I made all day was supposed to end with a call to her, and I couldn't do it."
"Vi's not like that," Cy promised. "She can run off for months at a time and show back up like only a second has passed. She also doesn't know how to stop loving. She can be so damned mad at you, but she'll always give you a chance to fix it." He ducked his head and sighed. "I spent too many years thinking it was a trap, but that's just her."
"Why didn't you ever apologize to Ash?" I asked.
He shrugged. "Because I was ashamed and hurt. Luke, when they left, I wasn't ok. They had been the only thing holding me together." He huffed, the sound his best attempt at a laugh. "Darnell noticed. Gran made this place safe, but I was so tired, Luke. So fucking tired that I just didn't want to try anymore. Darnell pushed me. He told me to come help, to get off my ass, and anything else. And somewhere in there, we became friends. I think it was when someone called him the N-word and I put my fist in their face." Cy looked over. "One of the few times Gran didn't punish me for fighting. She told me that standing up against hate was always allowed."
"But it was thirteen years," I pointed out. "In all that time, you never even sent him an email to say you were sorry? Or that you'd lied?"
Cy just shook his head. "Nope. Never told Violet either. Didn't want her in the middle of it. Part of it, I think, was because I didn't want to drive a wedge between them. Yeah, I wanted that boy - and girl. I also knew that so long as they had each other, they'd be ok."
"And you weren't," I realized.
He just bobbed his head slowly. "I really wasn't. See, that's the thing no one ever told me. There's falling in love, and then there's falling in love withthem. Not a damned thing can ever compare. I threw myself into other people's beds, but I could never quite find that feeling again. That high that they give from just being around them."
"You do it too," I said. "Even just this. I..." The sound of the barn door opening made both of us look over.
I hadn't even heard a foot in there! For a moment, my heart stuttered, wondering how much Faith had just heard, but the head that poked out was not my daughter's. The dark skin was my first tip. The short hair and stark tattoos hit my brain a second later. Beside me, Cy let out a heavy breath and relaxed.
"Fuck, Crimson," he grumbled. "Warn a man."
"Sorry," Darnell said as he stepped through the gap and closed the door behind him. "Cess said she's ready to talk when you are, Luke." Then he paused. "What the fuck happened to you two?"
Cy gestured to the hose. "Had to cool off."
"This is not 'being good for a couple weeks,'" Darnell teased.
I groaned, knowing he was right. "My timing sucks."
"Nah," Darnell said. "You just need to learn how to sneak around, cowboy." Then he wagged a finger between the pair of us. "Least you're both still dressed. I mean, you look like you just had a serious fuck-fest, and all, but you're covered."
"Letting the blood go down," Cy told him. "Stopped before the fuck fest."
"Go change," Darnell told us. "Both of you, and fucking blame the horses or some shit."
"Gonna toss the hose back over the fence for me?" Cy asked.
"Do I look like your nigger?" Darnell taunted.
Cy's lips curled into a shit-eating grin. "Nope, but you look like you could be my bitch."
Darnell just shoved right into Cy's face. "Nah, see, that would go the other way around. I hear prostate orgasms are all the rage."
Cy gently eased him back. "Trying to make my dick go down, bro. Not back up. And that's not the threat you think it is."
Darnell just clasped Cy's shoulder. "You got it bad for this boy, brother. Looks good on you."
I chuckled, because that "boy" he was talking about was me. "Kinda goes both ways, Darnell." Then I sighed. "Bisexual. I'm practicing."
"Yeah?" Darnell asked. "Told you it's the best option. And so you know, Ash and Vi are playing dress-up with your kid. I think they're teaching her how to make fashion into armor. If you're not ok with that, you'd better stop them now."
"Nope," I said. "I want Faith to grow up and be just like the women of Southwind. That's why she needs to stay with me. Her mother wants her to grow up and be a trophy wife. I want her to grow up and collect her own trophies."
