I just nodded. "I believe you, Faith. The question is if I have the same values. Your mom calls Ash a fag, said Vera was a dyke, and won't let you hang out with Zeke because he's trouble. I say that Ash is a damned good friend of mine, Vera basically made me the man I am today, and you deserve to have a friend like Zeke. So when you start screaming at people about what's right and what's wrong, demanding that I give up the three things that make me happy, I want you to think about why it matters." Then I turned for the door, intending to leave.
"Because I'm trying to take care of you," she called after me.
I stopped and spun back around. "No. That's not even going to fly. Do you know that when I saw that camera, I'd just told all three of them that I never wanted to see them again? Do you know why? Because they tried to tell me you were in trouble and I said I'dknow.I said you'd tell me. Thing is, you didn't know either, buttheydid. They stepped up, Faith, and they were willing to fight for you. I said some real bad things, and I made sure they'd never talk to me again, and then a few hours later, I showed up on their doorstep, and I didn't even have to ask. You know why? Because I needed help and in the Shades of Trouble, that's enough. Everything else can wait. Family comes first, and those people?" I paused, pulling in a breath. "My mom and dad cut me off because I wanted you. My entire family disowned me. When I said you will always come first, I mean itthatmuch, but those three refused to stop caring even after I treated them the same way my parents treated me. That's why it doesn't matter what happened."
"I didn't know," she breathed.
I just nodded. "It's complicated. It's alsomyjob to take care of you, so how about you let me do that, hmm?" I stepped back. "And you've got a day to decide if you're staying with me or your mom, but if you stay with me, I'm not leaving. We're staying here, because I'm done playing this game.Iam the parent. If you don't like that, fine. I'll still love you, and I'll see you every other weekend."
This time, when I left, I didn't give her the chance to stop me. I'd made up my mind. I'd drawn the line. The strange thing was that it actually felt pretty good - in a terrifying sort of way.
Chapter Sixty-Six
Before I was ready for it, the day had arrived. I drove Cessily and Faith to the courthouse. Darnell had shown up the night before so he could drive Ash, Cy, and Violet. I was wearing a suit that Ash had picked out, complete with the shiny shoes I owned, but only wore to funerals. I hoped like hell that wasn't a sign.
Beside me, Cessily was in a black suit with neon green trim and a white shirt under it. Faith was wearing a lilac dress Violet had bought her, and her necklace matched. She had on no makeup, but I'd heard Violet offer to help her if she'd wanted. Clearly, she hadn't, and the mixed signals had my stomach in knots.
When we got there, Meredith and her attorney were sitting on one of the benches, already waiting. Meredith saw Faith and called her over. Every instinct in my body wanted me to say no, but Cessily caught my arm, gripping a little too hard. In other words, I had to let her go, and I fucking hated it.
Faith hurried over to give her mom a hug, and Cessily led me to another bench. We were still in sight, but far enough away that our conversation would be private. My hands were clammy. I was sure I looked like hell, but I didn't really care. I just had to make it through this. I'd snapped at Faith, and she could really make me pay for it, but I still didn't feel bad about it. I just wished I could be sure that she'd pick me.
"Did you get the report from the psychiatrist?" I asked Cessily, unable to pull my eyes away from my daughter.
"He says she's learning healthy coping mechanisms," Cess told me. "She's very advanced in some ways, while being very naive in others. Basically, the whole thing says she's a pretty typical thirteen-year-old girl."
"And that's it?" I asked.
"It's a general report, Luke," she assured me. "Basically, he thinks that she's working through the trauma of being videoed without permission, feels safe with both of her parents, and she shows no signs of any sexual or physical abuse. It says you're not messing her up, which is all I need."
And then they called us all in. I turned to get Faith, but Meredith grabbed her wrist and pulled our daughter into the room at her side. Faith looked back, and I was sure the expression on my face was pained, but that was her mother. She had as much right to Faith as I did, and yet every protective urge in my body was screaming for me to do something.
In the courtroom, the seats were actually filled. Cy, Ash, Violet, and Darnell sat right behind my chair. Bev and David were in the row behind them. That felt pretty nice, but Meredith also had some moral support, and she led Faith that way. Her mother and stepfather were sitting behind her, both smiling at the sight of their granddaughter. Faith smiled back, hugging them both, then ended up shuffled in to sit between them, effectively keeping her from my family.
"All rise," a man at the front said.
I stood with Cessily and buttoned my suit coat again. The judge walked in, we were all seated, and he began reading out the details. I turned to glance back at my daughter, but she was talking to her grandmother, their heads bent close as they whispered. A tap at my arm had me standing again, and Cessily explained that we were seeking primary custody of Faith, and what our expectations were. A moment later, we sat down, and Meredith stood with her attorney to do the same.
But my ears were ringing. I was panicking. This was how Cy must have felt when I said I was leaving. It was that same rush that came right before I did something damned stupid, but not today. This time, I was going to trust my family, and that included Cess.
The discussion started with the facts like where I lived, my job, and even my relationship status. Meredith got to do the same, and Cessily asked for a clarification as to whether the marriage had been dissolved or annulled. That brought up a discussion as to why she'd annulled her marriage to Brody, the judge curious after her comments about it at the last hearing.
And that was when the shit started to get flung.
"Luke's position is a new one, and we believe it's not stable," Russell said. "He's only been employed there for a matter of months, and the fact that he's working for his girlfriend is suspicious. If the relationship fails, then so will his job."
"Which is not true," Cessily said, hopping to her feet. "I have here the contract of employment, approved by the Board of Directors, and the hiring process was actually initiated by the psychiatrist on premises. Luke had been doing a few contract jobs for the organization while working for his previous employer. Southwind felt he was a good fit and began the approval process. When Luke's previous contract ended, the organization made him an offer for full time employment. He reports to Dr. Cy Marshall, not his girlfriend."
"I thought Violet owned Southwind," Russell countered.
Cessily smiled. "She owns the property and leases it to the organization which operates under the same name. It's a little confusing, but the previous administration set it up to ensure that personal grievances didn't jeopardize the mission of the overall organization."
It went on like that for a while. Faith's grades were brought up, the reports of her self-harming were mentioned - and then quickly dropped when the timeline was brought up. Cessily made it clear that Faith's cutting was directly tied to bullying at school and pressure by Meredith's previous boyfriend, which resulted in a federal arrest for distribution of child pornography.
Naturally, they tried to bring up me getting arrested. Cessily made it clear that the charges had been dropped, how we'd been invited there to meet with the local pastor, then a group had jumped my co-worker because of his sexual orientation. A hate crime, she called it, making me out to be some kind of hero as I jumped in to protect an innocent man from an enraged mob.
Russell tried to counter with asking about the suitability of Faith living in a non-traditional household where homosexuality was openly displayed, but Cess had that too. Time and time again, she stood up and shot down their best arguments like it was nothing. My attorney might be a very pretty woman, but looking at her like this, I realized that she was so much more than that.
She was unable to be intimidated, and yet was powerful without coming across as aggressive. Oh, I knew she could be, but Cessily was good at her job. She used just the right amount of indignation, confidence, and politeness to make her words sound so much more reasonable than anything Russell Fry could say.
