"I think we broke you," I whispered.
He murmured softly. "I'm glad you broke - "
But the sound of the barn door sliding closed on the driveway side made us both pull apart. A moment later, the one on our side opened and Faith stood there, backlit from the inside. The girl let out a whistle, calling the horses in. I quickly scrubbed at my face and Luke reached over to clasp my shoulder.
"Aren't you kinda early?" Luke called over at her.
Faith turned to him and shrugged. "Thought I'd do it before I have a shower. Zeke wants to study together on Discord." She leaned. "Cy?"
"Yep," I told her, because she'd asked as if she couldn't quite make me out.
"We were talking about the trailer," Luke told her.
But I had a feeling she knew that. When Luke had called out to her, she hadn't flinched. The girl hadn't jumped or looked surprised at all. She'd just answered as if she knew he was there.
So I patted Luke's shoulder and headed for the open door. "Help her finish up. I need to talk to Ash and Vi."
"Yeah, you do," Luke agreed.
When we reached the barn, he moved to the grain bin. Faith was locking the horses in their stalls. I kept going, out the far side, and then I jogged back to the house. Inside, the living room was empty, but I knew where to find them. Turning up the hall, I found the door to Ash's office open, but he wasn't in there. I turned the other way, tapping at Violet's door before I stepped through.
"Oh, thank fuck," Ash breathed.
I closed the door and then dropped into the chair. "I hate the idea. I'm completely opposed to it. I also know that he needs to do it, and I will support him unconditionally."
Violet was bobbing her head slowly. "Are you doing ok?"
"Yeah," I said. "I think I am now. I'm done blaming myself. I'm through with letting a good thing get away. This time? We're going to do whatever it takes to make sure this works - even if there's a little distance."
"Even if Paul Simmons tries to destroy us in the process," Violet added.
Ash just leaned his hip against the edge of her desk. "And even if this town tries to kill us. I'm all in, whatever it takes."
Chapter Sixty-Five
That night, I talked to Faith again about the idea of leasing the trailer, making it clear that if we did that, we wouldn't be able to move until after the court date, and that it would be for six months. She nodded, said she wanted to think about it, but didn't give me much else. My daughter had become distant and more withdrawn than I'd ever seen her. I knew she'd been worse at the end of last year, but never around me.
So, the next night, I called a family meeting of adults. Once Faith was in bed, we all converged on Violet's room. This entire mess was not something I wanted to decide on my own, and I honestly liked the way we all worked together. I could still remember the first time we'd had a talk like this, back when Violet had forgiven me. The day we'd decided to make this crazy mess into something real.
This time, I was talking about putting it all on hold. Still, once my daughter's room was dark, I headed over. Cy and Ash were in Cy's room, the door open, clearly waiting. Without a word, they both got up and followed. In her room, Violet sat on her bed, flipping through her tablet, but she looked up when I opened the door.
I moved to the wall across from the bed and slid down it to sit on the floor. Ash made his way to her makeup table, claiming that chair so he could turn it around to face us. Cy locked the door and sat down beside Violet. All of them were looking at me because I'd started this. I just didn't know what they expected.
"I'm not making this decision on my own," I told them. "When Faith and I needed help, you dropped everything and jumped right in. I know I didn't deserve that. Faith did, but I didn't. I shit on each one of you, and yet you still opened that damned door and gave me a chance to fix it. So, I think you have a say in what comes next."
"And what does come next?" Violet asked.
"Well, I can put my foot down, tell Faith that we're staying here, and tell her to deal with it. She might decide to live with her mom. She's being defensive and avoiding it when I've asked what she's thinking."
"Hormones," Violet said.
I shook my head. "I think it's more than that, Vi. I think she's confused and angry. She keeps saying I deserve better, and I can't tell her that she's wrong. I can't explain to her that this? It's not cheating, because we're all on the same page. I feel like I'm playing fucking Russian roulette here, pulling the trigger and waiting to see if I get lucky or not."
"So lease the house," Cy told me. "Trailer. Whatever. Give her some distance."
"She needs to feel safe after everything she's been through," Ash said. "I get that. I remember how I felt when I got here, and how I was so sure that every good thing had to be a trap. Shit, I know what I did when Cy kissed me. Change is scary. At that age, it's fucking terrifying."
"What if she wants to live with her mom?" I asked.
