"I can touch who I want, when I want," I shot back. "Do you have any idea what kind ofbullshitthis is? Oh, I'm a taken woman so now I can't even talk to someone with a dick? I started dating you, Luke, so now I have to make sure that my every thought and action is pleasing foryou? No! I am not your bitch, or his, or anyone else's, and that is not a lesson I'm willing to let your daughter learn."
"And you don't think that's confusing to Faith at all?" Cessily asked.
I paused, and then let my unsaid words out in a huff of air. "I know. I do, Cess, and that's why I'm even trying, but I love these guys. Ash is my best friend. Cy's almost as close. I'm being punished for doing nothing wrong."
"Except getting caught," she reminded me.
So I looked at Luke. "I can't do this. I can't stand the tension in this house, the feel of us all tip toeing around. I've had to stop myself so many times from just sitting Faith down and trying to apologize for a thing I didn't do! You want me to keep my hands to myself? It's not going to happen. I'm going to touch him. I don't eventhinkabout it anymore. I can agree to keeping the doors open, to feeling like I'm being watched every second of the day, and to feeling like the shittiest person in the world, but I refuse to allow you to tell me who I can touch and when."
"Vi..." He tried.
But he didn't get more than that out before Faith stormed into the room. "See!" she said pointing right at me.
"It's not what you think," Luke told her.
Thinking back, I replayed my words in my mind but from her perspective. I could touch anyone I wanted. He couldn't tell me what to do. Shit! She was definitely going to take that wrong. Could this whole mess get any worse?
In that moment, I just wanted to leave. I wanted to go anywhere else. Out of the room, the house, and even the country. There was no doubt that this was about to explode, and this time it was all my fault. My damned pride. My stupid fucking mouth!
Faith didn't even slow down. "She's not trying to fix it, Dad. She's still doing it!"
"And we're discussing it," he told her.
"No!" This time, it was a whimper, and the girl's eyes were starting to fill with moisture. "I don't want to live here anymore! I don't want you to think you have to do this because of me. I want to go back to live with my mom!" Then she turned and raced away.
Those were the words we'd been trying so hard to prevent. This was now the worst-case scenario, and defeat hit me like a wave. I just wanted to give up. For the first time, I honestly wanted to call the whole thing off. Not because I didn't want to be with Luke, but because I was so tired. I missed being happy. We were supposed to be in love, not this - whatever this was.
"Go," I told him, knowing that was the first step.
Cessily just sighed, but Ash dropped into his chair hard. "Shit," he breathed. "The part that sucks so much is that we were talking about her."
"She thinks you're hurting her dad," Cessily told us. "She doesn't understand, Vi. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Faith is trying to fight for her dad because he's the only one person in her life who always fights for her. She's trying to do the right thing; she just doesn't know how. Keep your fucking hands to yourself forone more week!"
"You're right," I admitted. "I know you are, but you don't understand."
"I do," she promised. "I also know that what you four have is strong enough to weather this. Hell, take a vacation for a week. Ash, now that the charges have been dropped, you can go back to New York. I don't fucking care, but let this blow over and let us calm her down before she makes good on that threat."
"What if she does?" I asked.
"Then she's going to live with her mom, Luke will pay a shitload in child support, since he's got a good-paying job now, and he won't get another chance until she's eighteen. He won't be around her to change her mind. Her mother will spend those formative years teaching her a 'real woman's place' and it will all beyourfault because you let your pride get in the way."
"Low blow," Ash told her. "Don't talk about pride, Cess."
"I'm speaking from experience," she told him. "Violet, you need to tell Luke you love him where Faith can hear. Ash? You need to get real cuddly with Cy. You also need to be seen talking to Luke, then hanging out with Luke, and eventually having fun with Luke. You have six days, people. Put on a show, and make it a damned good one."
Nodding, knowing she was right, I left the room and headed for the kitchen. I needed a drink, and this time it was going to be a big one. If this kept up, that bottle of scotch was going to get a workout. But when I made it to the living room, Faith stormed back down the stairs. Both Luke and Cy followed her.
"Tell Cy what you said!" she dared me.
I kept going for the kitchen, opening the cupboard to get Gran's tumbler. Right now, I really needed a little moral support, and this glass had been an anniversary gift to her from Bea. It was a little of both of them. The scotch was all mine, but the glass was what I really needed.
Then I turned back, setting it on the island when no one else said anything. "I said that I'm allowed to touch my best friend, Faith. I said that no man has the right to keep me from hugging him when he feels like shit. I wassayingthat I'm miserable, I'm..." My throat pinched, so I paused, pulling in a breath to make my voice strong again. "I never meant to hurt anyone. The four of us have been figuring things out, and my relationship with Luke means a lot to me. So does my relationship with you, and you are dragging me through the mud. Sometimes, I need a friend - just a friend - who'll remind me that it'll be ok."
"You shouldn't have cheated on my dad," she said.
"She didn't," Luke said. "She also doesn't deserve to have you acting like a bully, Faith. When has Violet ever been mean to you? Even now, when I'm sure she's ready to scream, she's still trying to be nice, and you're just acting like a little brat."
"But - " Faith huffed.
