"Vera tracked me down," he said. "Got called at work. Threw the guys for a loop when some little old lady was asking for me. When they asked to give me a message, she called herself my mom." He smiled at the memory. "They pulled me right off the floor and told me to call her back because she sounded frail." He grunted, realizing he'd skipped a part. "I was in a psych ward back then. Fresh out of school, working on my residency. Picked up the phone and she chewed my ass out, cussing like a sailor. Told me that I'd broken the first rule and she'd take my color away if I did it again."
I chuckled at that. "Even though it's honestly your name."
"She said that didn't matter. And then threatened to whip my ass. I believed her, too." He paused for another sip of his beer. "She said that no matter how bad it hurts, we have a responsibility to at least let others know we're alive, and told me to call her if I couldn't call anyone else. She said you'd been crying about not knowing where I was, and fuck if that didn't rip my damned heart out."
"She wasn't supposed to tell you that part," I admitted.
Cy just nodded again. "But she did. She knew it was what would make me shape up. It's always been about you, Vi. Even with Magenta, it was still about you. We met because we were chasing you. We fought so hard because we thought you were into the other. God, we were stupid boys, but I've always said that I fell in love with him because of you."
"I didn't do anything," I reminded him.
"Sure you did." He paused for just a little too long. "You listened. You made us feel like we weren't complete fuckups. You treated us like we were normal boys, and you blushed so pretty when we tried to impress you. Ok, then threw something at us, but still. You were the light that guided us, and I think that's why Luke won't be able to stay away. Even if he's not in your bed, he's still gonna need that."
"Cy, I'm not here to save anyone," I countered. "I'm probably the worst choice for that."
"Then don't open Southwind, because what do you think we do here, if not save people? There's a reason the Shades of Trouble worked, and it wasn't because you and I got shit on for names. It's because we had nothing else to cling to, and Gran taught us how to cling to each other. She made us all into each other's life lines, babe, and you? You're the knot that holds it all together. The fucking glue, now that Gran's gone. Every last color out there shifted their loyalty from her to Gran's chosen heir."
"Me," I breathed.
"Mhm." And he reached for the second beer. "It's why she left you the house to deal with. She coulda sold it when she got so sick. She also knew that her little rainbow would fall apart if she did, so she gave it to you, hoping you'd step up and take the reins." Twisting the top off, he tossed it into the middle of the table. "And it wasn't just that damned magenta fabric that got Ash his name. It was that Cyan and Magenta, when mixed together..."
"Make Violet," I said, already knowing that. "Just means that you're going to have to fix this with Ash."
"I'm gonna. Also means that he's gonna have to fix this with me. Not looking to turn back time, but I'm not losing either of you again." He looked over. "I got on my big girl panties for this, babe. Can't promise I won't act like a little bitch, but I'll tough it out."
"And I'm always here if you need to vent," I promised. Then I grinned. "Or you can just go cry on Luke's shoulder. Just don't complain when he doesn't know what to do about it."
"Fuck," Cy groaned. "I don't cry, but that almost makes it sound like I should learn how."
"Just ruined it," I pointed out.
"But made you smile." And he kicked his feet up on the table like mine had been earlier.
Chapter Thirty-Two
The next morning, Cy was up early and out on the tractor. He'd mentioned something about turning the hay to dry. Yes, I heard the tractor head out, but I had no interest in leaving my bed unless I had to. Then I remembered that Ash was coming back today! I wasn't sure I was ready for that. Yes, I wanted to see him, but I knew this was going to be tense, and this last week had actually been pretty nice.
I spent the day cleaning. Luke stopped by for lunch, but Faith wasn't with him. Evidently, Meredith and Faith were officially moving in with Meredith's fiancé and cleaning out her old place. But over a cheese and avocado sandwich - which was actually pretty good - he told me what Faith had felt about talking to Cy.
It seemed she liked him. Not just a little, but she felt like he understood what she was going through. For a moment, I thought about telling him that she'd been cutting, but Cy had told me not to, so I let it slide. Instead, I made it clear that he needed to set up a weekly appointment with her new psychiatrist. Luke said he'd already talked to Meredith about it, and she decided that it couldn't hurt. She also wondered how he'd pay for it.
I jerked a thumb back toward where the tractor could be heard in the distance. "He said he needs to learn how to be a farmer and was hoping you could trade, but you'll have to work out the details with him."
Luke just huffed, sounding both surprised and not at the same time. "I would've anyway."
"And he would've talked to your daughter anyway," I countered, "so it works."
But Luke couldn't stay. He'd promised to go to a dress fitting for Faith's gown. Sounded like she'd had a fit, refusing to cooperate with her soon-to-be stepfather unless her father made sure her dress was ok, and Luke had given right in. I had a feeling his ex wouldn't be thrilled about that, but it wasn't my business, so I got back to work.
I finished the office, cleaned all the unused bedrooms, the kitchen, and the bathrooms. Then I decided to hit the living room. My eyes kept jumping to the clock, aware that Ashton should be here soon, and I was starting to get nervous. I was also excited. It had been a long time since we'd spent this many days this far apart.
I was almost done vacuuming the rug when a pair of arms wrapped around my waist. I squealed with shock, then spun around to see Ash standing there, grinning at me. As quickly as I could, I turned off the vacuum and checked the clock again. It wasn't even six thirty!
"You're early!" I said, stepping in to give him a bone-crushing hug.
"Yeah, the plane landed ahead of schedule. Tailwind, the pilot said. Seems it's only an hour and a half drive up here without weekday traffic, so here I am." He bent to rest his cheek on the top of my head. "Please tell me you survived without me?"
I narrowed my eyes and pressed my lips together in my best serious face. "Oh, is it going to piss you off if I said I had a pretty good week?"
