"No, she said she wouldn't tell your dad." Then I leaned over my knees. "You know, I remember when she did it. Thought about it myself a few times, but we weren't allowed anything sharp here, so it was a bust. Believe it or not, I get it. Just want to make sure you're not going too far."
"You don't want to stop me?" she asked.
I shrugged. "Sure I do. I also know why you're cutting. No one likes to talk about that part because it's not as pretty. We can't fix one without fixing the other. Sounds to me like life kinda hurts, huh? And sometimes you hate that you can't do anything about it, so you focus on a pain you can control?"
"Yeah," she mumbled.
"Is it the boys, the girls, or something else?" I asked gently, giving her room to answer vaguely.
"The girls," she said. "None of the boys like me."
"Yeah, but that kinda hurts too, right? And the girls are like salt in that wound. But - and this is a real hard question - do you like yourself?"
She shrugged. "I dunno."
"So maybe we can focus on that next time?" I asked. "I mean, if I pass your inspection. If you want to come back, we can start talking about the things you don't like about yourself, and maybe come up with a few ways to deal with that?"
She looked up at me with those big eyes of hers. "I don't think Dad can afford a shrink, and Mom won't pay for it."
"Your dad and I have a deal. He's going to help me with a few favors, and I'm gonna do this. But, that's the thing. I can't do it without your approval. Sure, you're a minor, and yeah, your parents get to make all your decisions, but I don't work that way. When that door closes, things in here are between us."
"So you won't tell him?" she asked.
"Can't promise that," I admitted. "Legally, I really can't. But I want you to trust me, so I'm going to do everything I can to not mess that up. Means I won't tell him unless I have to."
She nodded. "Dad worries about me a lot. Mom says he's annoying, and Brody thinks he's a bad influence on me. Says all my problems are because of him, but they're wrong. I think Brody just doesn't like that Mom used to love him and I'm proof of that."
"Yeah, that's complicated," I agreed. "Luke seems to be a pretty good man, though. Least as a friend. Don't know how he is as a dad, but probably a little more annoying."
She shook her head. "No, he's great. I just wish I could see him more. And when I have problems, he always knows and doesn't blow me off like Mom does. It's all Brody's fault."
"You don't like Brody?" I asked.
She bounced her shoulders in the least enthusiastic shrug I'd ever seen. "I guess he's ok. He just acts all fake-nice with me, you know? And he keeps talking about my clothes."
I had to fight not to let my face change. "So does he leave you alone, or want to talk too much?"
"Mostly leaves me alone," she said.
I damned near breathed a sigh of relief. That was the right answer, but I didn't want Faith to think there might be a wrong one. I wanted her to feel like she could actually talk to me about things. That meant it was time to change the subject a bit.
"I heard they're getting married soon."
She nodded slowly. "Yeah. Next month. Then I'll be stuck with him. I hate it when Mom leaves me there alone with him. He just sends me to my room or keeps telling me to take a bath. I'm not five, and they won't let me have a computer of my own. Least I have my phone, but it sucks to get basically grounded just because Mom's not home."
"Maybe he just doesn't know how to deal with kids? I mean, he probably doesn't know a thing about what you're interested in."
She did that shrug again that said she knew she should agree, but she really didn't. "I think he just hates me. The girls at school say - " Then she clamped her mouth shut and looked up. "It's just stupid gossip."
"I haven't heard this gossip. Also don't care if you cuss. Promise I won't tell your dad about that."
So she leaned closer and lowered her voice. "They say Mom's a tramp. Got knocked up in high school so Brody's only with her because she's easy."
"Pretty sure that's not a reason to get married though. I mean, living together, sure. But this guy actually bought her a ring, right?"
"But they always fight! She wants to buy something. He wants her to be quiet so he can watch TV. She says he doesn't respect her. Things like that. I mean, if it's just about..." She dropped her voice again. "...Sex." Then raised it back to normal. "Then they wouldn't fight like that, right?"
"Believe it or not, it doesn't work that way. Some relationships are all about sex, and the people involved never fight. Too busy in bed to have anything to fight about." She giggled, clearly embarrassed that I was willing to talk about it. "And other times it's just like you said. But that's your mother's decision."
