I watched him, deciding to push this a bit. "Sucked a few dicks too. Now, I don't have to say more if that makes you feel uncomfortable, but I'm not ashamed of it."
"What's it like?" he asked. "Not the fucking, but knowing you don't fit in?"
"Oh, bro," I groaned. "No, Luke. That's not how it goes. Maybe that's true here in Bubbaville, but not the rest of the world. I was living in Denver, and while I wasn't out at work, I was at home."
"Out," he repeated, like he was trying out the word. "So why not at work?"
"Worked in a jail. Half the guards were redneck idiots, like most of this town. The other half wouldn't give a shit, but the prisoners? Yeah, bunch of men locked up for life, and I had no interest in getting raped by some serial killer in need of getting off. Since I can pass, I usually don't have - "
"Pass?" he cut in.
"No lisp, no weak wrists, no wiggle when I walk. I look as straight as you to most people. That's passing. Short for passing for straight, or cis for the trans community."
"Right." He headed over to climb on the tractor, but paused while he let the glow plugs warm up. "Only gay people I've ever known were Vera and Bea, and they kept it to themselves. Kinda walked in the wrong room one night, and one of those ladies was under the blanket. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have said a thing."
"You care?" I asked.
Luke thrust out his lower lip and shook his head. "Nope. Just trying to play catch-up is all. So, not gay?"
"Not gay," I assured him. "Close, but not completely. I usually use pansexual, or pan, because I'm pretty picky about women. Know other guys who are the opposite. Love women, but a couple of guys can get them going."
"Ever date a trans guy? No, sorry, girl?"
"Both," I said. "Didn't last long, but I go for the mind, not the junk in their pants. And you call them by the gender they feel. So someone born with a dick who feels like a woman is a trans woman. Use female pronouns."
"I'll probably fuck that up a few times," Luke told me. "Make sure I figure it out?"
"Promise." Then I gestured at the tractor. "And I'm waiting on you."
"Shit, we're waiting on Betty." Then he turned the key.
The old thing coughed to life, belching out a single puff of black smoke before it all started to rumble in a way that sounded healthy. I had a feeling the equipment had been sitting idle for far too long, which meant this would probably be good for it. Then, while I watched, Luke pulled the tractor forward, backed it up, then parked it to hook up the mower-thing we'd greased the day before.
He hopped back up once to raise the equipment, then off to make a few more adjustments. When he decided it was good, he pulled the whole thing forward, pointing for me to open the big doors on the far side of the barn. I jogged ahead of him, throwing them open just as "Betty" lumbered her way out. Soon as he had the whole contraption in the yard, I closed the doors again, all too aware that his horses could sneak through, and head down to the main gate.
Luke joined me to close the second one. "Ok, hop up there, and I'll give you the basics."
"You sure about this?" I asked. "You do know that I've never farmed a day in my life, right?"
"It's like a real big riding mower," he promised.
Unlike newer tractors, this one didn't have a closed cab. It was just a monster of a thing, red and faded, with two steps to get from the ground to the hard little seat. I made my way up and sat behind the wheel, then Luke followed. His head was even with my shoulder, then he pointed to the far end of the pasture, straight ahead.
"You're going for the gate up there. Right foot's the gas. Left's the brake, but you won't use it too much. Taking your foot off the gas makes this thing stop pretty quick." Then he grabbed my knee. "Try not to throw me off."
"Don't worry," I teased. "Least we know where to find a doctor." Then I pushed the gas.
It wasn't fast. The tractor moved about the speed of a turtle, so I pushed a little harder. The whole thing heaved, jerking a little, but it did go faster. Luke slapped my leg, letting me know I had this, so I pushed even harder, feeling like a sixteen-year-old learning how to drive a standard.
"Ok," Luke said, waving me down.
I lifted my foot from the gas and he was right. We both jerked forward as Betty gave up her go, and the tractor stopped harder than I expected. "Think I got that part down," I joked.
"Lemme get the gate, then I'll show you how to operate the fun shit," Luke yelled.
He hopped down and moseyed over to open the fence. I glanced over to check his horses, but they didn't care at all. Soon as the gate was swung wide, I pushed that pedal again. I was actually starting to get the hang of this. On the other side, however, I stopped too soon, needing to inch up so he could close the gate without the mower in the way.
Then Luke was back. Grabbing my left knee with one hand, he leaned in. "Open your legs," he said, grinning at me like an idiot.
