"What else do you like to eat?" He gestured to the selection. "So I know how to make sure your best friend doesn't kick my ass."
"Apples." I paused, thinking about that. "I love a grilled cheese sandwich, but it has to have real butter." Yep, I was reaching the limit. "Um, I can snack on raw peas all day long. Like sugar snap peas in the pod."
"No shit?" He grinned and went back to work. "Then I'm going to fill up your fridge with them. Nancy's garden always goes crazy, and she keeps trying to pawn the extras off."
"I do eat, you know," I said, feeling like he needed to know that. "And I don't have the body image problems anymore."
"So you're just picky?" he asked, making it sound a little too casual.
I sighed. "I just don'tlikeeating."
Turning around, he put the steak on the stove, then found another pan for the tofu, cooking them simultaneously. Without looking at me, he asked, "Why not? Most people enjoy it. Some do too much. So why do you hate doing something that keeps you alive?"
"Is this your idea of first date conversation?"
He shrugged. "I think so. I mean, gotta know what I'm signing up for, right?"
But he still didn't look back. There was no friendly smile with it. Sure, I could've given him all the "right" answers. I knew them, and I'd mastered saying what people wanted to hear, but that wasn't the kind of relationship I was looking for. Besides, if Luke couldn't handle me and the mess I came with, then he had a point. It was better to call this off before I got my hopes up.
"Most of the time, eating gets in my way. I have a job to do, or a call to make. Things like that. And I've had to count calories for so long to stay at the perfect size that I learned to despise all the work. It's easier to grab a vitamin drink and keep going. It's also not healthy, and I do get that." I paused, hoping for some sign of what he was thinking, but got nothing, so I kept going. "Plus, most food just tastes like crap. It's all covered in salt or sugar or some cheap blend of spices to hide it. We don't really taste the food. We taste the seasoning that smothers it, so why bother?"
"Kinda makes sense, actually." He flipped the steak and moved to mess with something else. "I think guys go the other way. We're pushed to be muscular and lean. Nothing but protein, right? Gotta hit the gym."
"Doesn't look like you've had trouble staying in shape," I teased.
He laughed at that. "Yeah, I do nothing but lift hay and feed all day." Finally, he turned to look at me. "I just don't know if I should tell you that you're beautiful, pretend like I don't notice, or something else. Ashton said you had an eating disorder, and the only thing I really know about those is from WebMD."
I just blew out a breath, knowing this date was about to crash and burn. "I stopped eating for a few months because the bullies at school convinced me I was fat and ugly. Yes, months. I mean, Gran got a few meals in me, but not much. I was fourteen, Luke. Not much older than Faith."
"I know," he said gently. "I think that's why I'm asking."
"It's not contagious," I assured him.
He waved me off. "Not what I meant. I just know that things are rough for her right now, and she doesn't really have any friends. I don't remember you at all, so I can only imagine what it felt like."
"I had you," I said softly.
He'd almost turned back to the stove, but paused. "What?"
"They beat me up. Like six girls, and they all jumped me behind the school." I paused to lick my lips. "I was lying there, convinced that every bone in my body was broken, and they wouldn't leave me alone. You showed up out of nowhere, scooped the dorky little fat girl into your arms and carried me into the nurse's office."
"Oh, shit," he breathed. "That was you?"
I nodded slowly. "And you became my hero that day. The hottest guy at school took care of little Dawn Higgs. No one else gave a shit if I lived or died but Luke Barrett. He saved me. I know it was stupid, but I had the biggest crush on you for years. We'd be in Paris, or Tokyo, or L.A. and I'd be comparing all the guys to my savior."
"You said this to Ashton?"
I laughed at that. "Yeah. Like I said, my best friend. That's why he tried to get you to walk in on our photoshoot. He figured that any straight man would see me posing and want to get in on that."
"Yeah..." Luke paused to take the steak off the stove and messed with the tofu again. "Violet, that was the day Meredith told me she was pregnant. I'd just told my coach that I had to quit football, and the next day, I dropped out of school so I could get a full-time job. My parents kicked me out when we couldn't hide it anymore, which was about March. Crashed with some friends for a few months, bouncing around between them, and then I'd used up all my available couches."
"And you came to Gran," I realized.
"She came to me," he corrected. "Caught me sleeping in the back seat of my truck behind the gas station. Guess someone told her I'd been there a few days, so she pounded on the window and asked if I knew anything about cleaning stalls. Told her no, so she said I could learn if I wanted a real job. Moved in that afternoon." His eyes lost focus and he smiled wistfully. "When Faith was born, Meredith didn't let me help name her. She didn't want me to hold her. Her parents tried to kick me out of the hospital, but Vera had my back. She made sure I got to be a part of my daughter's life."
"She was amazing," I breathed.
"So are you," he said. "I'm sorry that I didn't pay attention to you. My own life was blowing up, and I was too young to know better. I just..." He began moving the food he'd just made to a pair of plates. "You're amazing, Violet, and I couldn't figure out why you wanted a guy like me around. Now I'm worried that you're not going to be impressed with the cow feeder."
