"Said she fucked up bad, but it's because she got scared." Ashton paused. "Look, she's pushing the age limit for models. In a few years, she'll be considered too old, and she'll be out of a job, which means she's got to make what she can now. That's what she meant about no kids. She can't get pregnant because she can't lose those years. Not yet."
"Ok…" My eyes narrowed.
So Ashton kept going. "Then there's this fucking town. She knows how easily people out here gossip. Selling her body, right? You know people are saying it. Maybe you just think she's easy. Well, pro tip, she's not."
"Never thought she was," I assured him.
"Doesn't mean the rest of this town will agree, and right now, she doesn't need any more shit. Her grandmother just died, and that rocked her world hard. She likes you, but she's learned that everything in this town is toxic. No matter what she does, the people around here find some way to tear her down." He paused. "All I'm saying is that yes, she knows she's beautiful. It's printed in every magazine she's in. What she still can't wrap her mind around is that someone might like her for more than how she looks in lingerie, how fast she'll put out, or how much she's worth. You understand what I'm saying?"
"Nah, man, spell it out real slow for a country boy like me."
Ashton chuckled, but nodded. "Ok, I'll make this simple. You think you're gonna just hook up with her and bail? I'll fly back here and finish what we already started. Clear enough?"
"Think you're safe. Learned my lesson about jumpin' in a girl's pants. Kinda ended up with a daughter because of it."
"Then we're on the same page. Have fun shoveling the shit, Luke." The pretty boy turned, effectively ending the conversation.
"Still don't like you," I told Ashton's back.
The guy just shrugged and kept going. "Still don't care."
Chapter Fourteen
That night, Ashton gave me an abridged story. It wasn't enough to satisfy my curiosity, not by a long shot, but he wouldn't give me more. He said it'd break the man code - which was complete crap and we both knew it. Didn't matter. He refused to give me the details, but swore that Luke would be coming back. They'd come to an understanding, and it sounded like I had a chance to fix my own mistakes.
That was why I was up early the next morning. Cricket and Storm were still in their stalls, which meant Luke hadn't come to take care of them yet. Ashton was packing the last of his things. I, however, was glued to the window, waiting to see that big blue truck lumber up the drive.
"Desperation isn't sexy, Vi," Ashton reminded me as he stacked his luggage by the door. "Dude's probably waiting for me to get out of your hair before he'll show."
"Thought you two made up?"
"No," he corrected. "We came to an understanding. Very different thing. I mean, no way is that guy gonna like me. I'm not really going to like him."
That pulled my eyes away from the window. "Why not?!"
"Well, no guy's gonna ever be good enough for my best friend." He did a half shrug, half nod, mulling it over. "And there's that whole problem about the guy who popped your cherry. Irreconcilable differences. Not a damned thing is going to make Luke and I become friends, but we'll refrain from acting like cavemen if it'll keep you happy."
"But that was years ago," I reminded him. "And he doesn't even know! Besides that, doesn't it matter that I kinda popped yours back?"
"Nope." Chuckling, he hugged me close. "Doesn't work like that. We all want to think of our girl as ours. We like to pretend that no one else has ever been there, couldn't make her happy, satisfy her, or whatever. It's us or nothing, and I'm a walking reminder to your little cowboy that he's just lying to himself."
"Uh huh." I had a feeling that might go both ways.
"And," he went on, "Luke's kinda a reminder that I can't just have everything be all about me all the time." Then he kissed my forehead. "It's time for me to go, sweetie. If I want to make my flight, I have to head out."
I hugged him back, pressing my face deep into his shoulder. "Thanks, Ash. Even if you screwed it up, thanks for trying to take care of me. Just don't forget to text me when you land, ok?"
"Swear. And if you need anything else, just call."
Then he was gone. The sound of his tires crunching their way down the drive wasn't enough to distract from the oppressive silence of Gran's house. If anything, it made it worse. Once again, I was all alone, and it felt like it got harder each time.
But I could do this.
Sitting in Gran's office was an entire list of the things I should be doing. Southwind was far from complete. I'd been here almost two weeks, and I'd spent most of it chasing some guy. It was time to get my head out of my ass and get down to business. With Ashton, I'd started the paperwork to get the juvenile center back in operation. The petitions for resumption of the agreement with the state of Texas had been mailed out, and the permits were all in processing.
Now, I needed to focus on the details closer to home. Getting a contract with a medical facility would be easy. The local hospital in Bonham had already shown interest in my proposal, but that wouldn't be enough. I needed psychiatric care. These were problem children, disturbed and neglected children. These kids had already been through hell and back, and without a little treatment for their anguish, they'd never be able to move forward.
And then I needed to look at staff for Southwind itself. Meals, cleaning, activities... it all had to be planned and in place before I could start taking new clients. It all had to operate as smoothly as it had when Gran ran the place, because that was the only way I'd be able to make a difference. This place had to seem like heaven and home, all at the exact same time, to make my students realize it was possible for them to deserve this. I had to show them a better life - give it to them - before they could dream of making it on their own.
